What do I do with you when you die?

[runlee]

This question was posed by my daughter at Christmas!  My husband and I lived in various locations, mainly overseas, most of our adult lives.  Hence the question.  Whislt we both still have family living in the UK neither of us feels that we 'belong' to either Parish, but don't want to end up being buried/cremated overseas.    Despite us never having discussed this beforehand, we both said that we would probably like to end up in the place we got married - Wimbotsham, Norfolk.

My daughter also added that we would be a family historian's nightmare family having lived in Germany, Cyprus, UK, Germany, India, UK, Belgium, Germany, Belgium - in that order.  Perhaps it's a good job it's all been recorded! 

[liverpool lass]

We have pondered this question too! I have decided that the medical profession can take what they want then burn the rest. My ashes can then be scattered somewhere lovely like Snowdonia or the Lake District

[Dancing Master]

I was under the impression that you cannot simply put ashes where you wish, I thought you needed some sort of permission.   I know that some people would say 'oh we would do it on the sly' but there are good reasons for these laws.

[Nutty1966]

My dad sadly passed away 9 years ago and his ashes are scattered on the 13th tee at Saltburn Golf Club, his second home, the funeral director said that many a golfer gets wheeled around the course, so to speak that's the last round he/she will have

I once asked my husband what his wishes were, his reply I don't care I'll be dead   


Jane

[Fisherman]

My OH has asked me what I want done (who says I am going first).  My answer "Surprise me"   .
One other thing when I go don't expect me slip away quietly I love this life so much I am determined to go kicking and screaming.

Chris

[NadT]

It's a good question and one which many people are afraid to ask.  We too have moved around the country with work and wondered where our children would 'put' us when we die.  We now use an online facility called Your Wishes in a Nutshell where we have all the things we want to happen when we pop our clogs, or even if we get so ill we can't look after ourselves.  It gives us peace of mind that it's recorded for our family to know and also our children, they know exactly what we want and won't have to argue over it (as unfortunately so many families do) or wonder if they're doing teh right thing, when the inevitable happens.

[MarieC]

It's possible to make your own arrangements, of course.  My parents did this, buying a plot in the local cemetery and making all necessary arrangements with a particular funeral director.  Now my two aged aunts (both childless) have done the same.  One is now away with the fairies in a nursing home, but the arrangements had previously been made - she wants to be cremated and have her ashes placed in her parents' grave.  The other frequently reminds me that her plot is paid for and all the arrangements are with the funeral director - I will have no difficult decisions to make when she pops her clogs.

This is a great gift that one can give one's younger relatives.  I intend to follow family tradition and make my arrangements so that no-one will need to worry when I go!

MarieC

[silvery]

I was under the impression that you cannot simply put ashes where you wish, I thought you needed some sort of permission.   I know that some people would say 'oh we would do it on the sly' but there are good reasons for these laws.

I wonder what they could be, these good reasons.   There seem to be lots of laws made these days for very flimsy reasons.
There has been a thread about it
http://www.rootschat.com/forum/index.php/topic,310943.0.html

[dollylee]

A very good topic !!!

We are getting of an age where this could be one of the biggest favours we could do for our children.  The only problem is we don't want to be buried where we are living..and at this point don't know where we want to be. 

My father was cremated and my mother wanted to keep his urn with her while she was living.....the nursing home thought it terribly strange....so we just reminded them that residences were allowed to have personal possession.  When my mother died we had her cremated and put the two of them.......we actually bought a new urn and mixed them together as they would have loved that and buried them in the same plot where my brother who had passed away 20 some years before.  I am sure they would all have been very happy with what we did with them.

So that may be our instructions to our girls....you have to drag us around with you until you put down permanent roots somewhere and bury us there..............I can hear their groans right now.

 

dollylee