Thank you all for your input, I am so grateful as I was coming to a blank everytime I searched. But then I was searching for Henrietta Payne, not thinking that Hettie could be short for Harriet.
Plus I was looking in London forgetting that she travelled a lot so that she could have been married in Dover.
Hetty was a fascinating character that I remember and my mother and then I grew up in her other house which was 86 Culverden Road, Balham. The house is a large Victorian one and Hetty lived on the ground floor of the house. There is a large room with steps down to the garden that Hetty used to have lavish dinner parties in. We lived at the top of the house and my grandparents lived in the middle rooms.
It was around 1947 that Hetty moved out of the house (her house!) due to bad relations with my step grandmother (her former sister in law) - yes I know its complicated! She then took up residence in her "other house" which was Wharfe House in Henley.
I can remember going to visit her when I must have been around 7 years old and she had one room that was a private museum of all of her things from her travels - including original African Zulu shields and spears! On the house was also a wonderful balcony with swinging garden chairs and sofas and I can remember looking down the garden at the river. There was also a walled fruit garden that I used to hide and play in. But I am sure that it has probably gone years ago and is buried under some developer's housing estate.
Unfortunately Hetty didn't end her days there, but in a local residents home, as she never had the house maintained and one day the ceiling fell in on her. My mother tells me that she still kept her chauffeur on and he use to drive every Sunday and collect her in her 1920s Rolls Royce and take her for a drive.
My advice to anyone trying to trace their ancestry is to pick the brains of older members of your family as they seem to remember things from years ago even if they don't know what day it is today. Also make sure you get your hands on all the photos and paperwork before they burn them like my grandmother did.
My grandfather's side of the family is German and we had a large family bible with all the family tree and many letters inside. The same woman also destroyed all of this. So wherever she is now, she has a lot to answer for!!
Once again many thanks for your help and suggestions, I must admit I didn't expect to get some a wonderful response. I feel inspired to carry on..
Any help I can give anyone from the South of France, please let me know.
Regards
Cathy
