Another local expression - do you have a variant?

[cheshiremog]

I am always saying myself
"Well it's better than a kick in the head"
And I think that's from the South West

Although on another vein - I did have a teacher in the 1970s - who used to say in exclamation - "Well! Chase my Aunt Fanny round the static water tank!

[wood.mjm]

someone mean  "as tight as a fishes bum",     which is airtight"

Tight as a ducks ass! Watertight!

Woody.

[Ozdot]

Yes, Woody, that duck's one is well known in our family!

I always thought 'poorly' was a Yorkshire expression, but maybe it is widespread.

The first time I visited Sheffield with OH we were in a small zoo with my in-laws when my mother in law saw a deer with a bandage around its antler.  "Oh, he's got a poorly horn" she said, and I nearly cracked up!

Cheers,
Dot.

[wood.mjm]

   It's horn's badly.

Woody.

[suzard]

Derbyshire we refer to someone being "poorly" - but if they look ill the saying is "he looks as badly as a fowl"

Suz

[Gaille]

Here in Shrewsbury, anybody that comes from the sticks sourounding us, mainly South Shropshire way,  are classed as " upper wammers " 

Pete

Whooo hooo I'm an ex-upper Wammer then!
(lived by Craven Arms years back!)

[mrs_tease]

I use to hear

Aw go frame ya sen!  = sort yourself out

cooz is oot = cows are in the field

[wood.mjm]

 Frame thissen.

Woody.

[IgorStrav]

Was just thinking - as I was lying in bed this morning not getting up to do the chores - my mum always used to say in such circumstances

"Well, THIS won't get the baby washed"

She didn't have any babies requiring washing as far as I know.

Anything similar anywhere?