Anyone got any family anecdotes?

[maidmarianoops]

when i was about 7 years old my dad said hello to a lady i did not know ,i asked who she was and was told uncle Sam's wife,the next words i took to be auntie Mona.
When my dad was in his sixties i asked what her relationship in the family was.when asked who i meant i said auntie Mona,dad said who do you mean,my answer ,The lady that lived in riddings you used to talk to .
YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN HIS FACE
What he had said was that old moaner, and  i had talked to her for years calling her auntie Mona

Sylvia

[mother25]

Out of the mouths of babes.....
Bet your dad watched his tongue after that 

[groom]

When I was young we used to go to my grandparents for Sunday tea. As my father was the youngest of 6 children, my grandmother was quite elderly, had been raised in the Victorian era and was a stickler for good manners and children should be seen and not heard. We were eating tea when my brother, who was about 3 at the time, dropped his cake on the floor. As he got down to pick it up he said at the top of his voice, "Oh B****r it!" My parents didn't know where to put themselves. Goodness knows where he got it from as I never heard my parents swear. I didn't teach him -  honest 

Jan

[mother25]

Hmmm....methinks he doth protest too much 
Great story though 

[maxxangel]

I can sympathise with forgetting you have a baby. After I'd had my first daughter I was washing the pots and listening to a baby crying. I looked out of the window and up and down the street trying to figure out where the baby was before I realised she was my own and had just woken up!

This is an anecdote my father-in-law sent me recently:

My father worked at a pit called Billy Halls and to get there he would walk the mile and a half via the railway track. As you could imagine at four thirty in the morning it would be rather dark. When he arrived at work, one of the men said. “Did you hear about old so and so, (can’t remember the name) he hung himself yesterday in that hut on the side of the railway.” My Dads reply was. “Bloody hell, I must have walked past him while he was hanging there”

Next day as dad was walking to work; he was getting close to the shed where the chap had hung himself. He said it was very dark and quiet and the nearer he got it made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. Just as he reached the shed, a donkey in the field went. EEEEEE-ORRRR. He said his feet never touched the floor until he reached the pit.

[wendy47]

When I was a few weeks old my mother was walking down some old railway station steps that have about 30 steps edged with steel and she tripped. I flew out of her arms and I rolled down them. She thought she'd find me dead at the bottom but I was wrapped tightly in a shawl and that protected me.

She also left me outside a shop and went home, unpacked her shopping and then realised something was missing. I was still there when she rushed back.

When I was about 3 or 4 my mother got off a trolley bus that had the new automatic doors and turned around to lift me off when the doors closed catching my neck in them. Luckily she had her arms inside and pushed hard. The driver couldn't see us so quickly opened the doors as his light was still on and she pulled me out. My legs were then caught but she managed to yank me hard enough before the driver took off.

I tease her about all these 'near death experiences' she put me through. Even though she is 89 now she says she still remembers vividly those times. I was her first born too

Wendy

[Deb D]

My dad came home from work one day, complaining about the new roll-on deodorant my mother had bought ... it didn't help keep him dry, and it had left funny marks on the underarms of his shirt.

'T'wasn't deodorant.  In the dim light of pre-dawn dressing, he'd picked up her roll-on makeup by mistake.  The shirt never recovered.

He had a passion for worcestershire steak sauce, too ... until the night he grabbed what he thought was the right bottle ... and poured Coffee & Chicory concentrate on his steak!

[briant]

Donkeys years ago my dad was a transport mechanic and got called out 24/7 in all weathers on the A66 between Penrith and Scotch Corner,An absolute bl**dy nightmare of a road in them days,

But it had it's perks from grateful drivers with things errrm "falling of the back of the lorry",you name it it fell off,
all except the whiskey lorrys,that got a police escort from county to county,wether the coppers got some i don'nt know,

He once came home in the middle of night with this massive skate and plonked it on the sink unit,of course when mother got up,swicthed the kitchen light on and saw these big eyes looking at her,she promptly screamed the house down,

[ritchiewilk]

A number of years ago I was on holiday in Majorca with my family, in laws and friends ( about a dozen of us).  At lunch time we would go to my in laws apartment, that over looked the pool.  One day we were back at the poolside after lunch and I said "Where's Scott (my 4 1/2 yr old son), he's not here?" We all looked round the pool and in the pool but couldn't find him.  Panic began to set in until I looked up at the in laws apartment and there he was waving like some poor sole stuck on a desert island.  It turned out that as everyone was leaving he had gone to the toilet and had got locked in.  I shouldn't laugh.

A few years earlier while on holiday in Spain with Scotts sister Carla, who was 2 at the time we were up on the roof terrace of the apartments.  As it was very hot and there was no pool up there I got a bucket of water for Carla to play in.  I have a great photo of her sitting in the bucket cos all you can see is her head and shoulders.  But, the funniest bit was when she lifted the bucket up.  I said to her "Stand in the bucket and see if you can lift it"  Well, she climbed into the bucket but couldn't understand why, now, she couldn't lift it or why I was rolling about in fits of laughter.

Hope nobody reports me for child cruelty.

Ritchie