My sister doesn`t want me to do the family history.

[johngirl]

Hi,

    Dancing Master, no I hadn't even put any information in there regarding her side of the family.There is nothing that would affect her at all.I`m the one that has done the research and I have found nothing that  will incriminate anyone. I also started putting my family history into a word document but it was taking forever and I`m not computer literate and just couldn`t get anything right. I thought putting it into a proper Family Tree site I would have no problems. How wrong was I .Will just have to keep plodding on with my word document and keep all my information in folders as before.

 Hi Siamese Girl,

            Well it did bring me closer to other members of my family and I have found many cousins I never knew about so that is a bonus. As for my sister ,well she will get over it hopefully when she realizes I`m not out to do her any harm just trying to show her who our ancestors were. I don`t put living people into my Tree on Ancestry, I only have them down on paper for my own viewing in my folders. Only I see them and no one else.

        Johngirl

[jellybeans]

Hi Johngirl,

Instead of plodding along with your Word document, you could download free, PAF from Family Search. This program, once downloaded, is private. I use it for all the info I find, and need to verify. No-one else sees it, it is just for my benefit, and if I then find the info is wrong, or not my family, I can always delete it. You can also put photos on there, and notes, again, just for your own benefit.

Enjoy your hobby, and don't let anyone spoil it for you, but try not to alienate your sister either. I'm sure she has done things you didn't like, but she did them anyway.

JB

[clematised]

I can remember when I first informed the family that I was doing the tree and asked for all the birth and marriage dates(for families eyes only) of the living and Eldest sister has skeletons and so does one brother and I had no intention of revealing these to anyone but sister began bombarding me with hate mail and calling me evil ect.,

Her family were all fine with it but she was adamant that I would be rooting around in peoples misery revealing all.

I wrote a tree up for her family only with only their names in and she came around when she saw the closet firmly closed
Brother refused to be any part of it so I have added to his space male child living and left his family out of it
Now it is proceeding well without hurting anyone and I have it on Genes but private and all the living names removed.

It is only direct lines only grandparent and siblings I have not traced the offspring.

Edna

[johngirl]

Hi Jellybeans,

                        I have done what you suggested and have downloaded a PAF from Familysearch. I can now happily put in my information for my veiwing without anyone bieng cross with me.

Hi clematised,

                    So glad that I`m not the only one to be set upon by doing my family history. The trouble is our familys should take a proper look at what we are doing before jumping to conclusions that we are out to get them by revealing their past mistakes.

        Johngirl

[patrexjax]

Hello all, This issue has many sides. However, a wise person once told me, "Genealogy without documentation is mythology!"  So, let's all try our best to get our documentation, preserve our information and be selective about revealing information about living persons. I will still be digging for some of my brick wall rellies when they lower me in to the ground despite the fact that only one living relative has any interest at all in my obsession.  Pat

[Mogsmum]

I've come late to this discussion, but even if your sister isn't interested, as others have said, I'd keep on with your research.   I know some people have 'issues' with the memory of others, but personally I fail to understand this - what happened, happened, talking about it won't make it any worse, better or undo it.   

Neither my husband nor our daughters are the slightest bit interested in my passion for family research, showing only polite interest, but since both my husband and I were only children and our parents are long since deceased, if I don't do it - no-one will.   It is of course possible that when I fall off my perch someone will just bin everything I've done as being so much junk, or .. they may just decide to keep it for my grandchildren (if I ever get any!) - either way that'll be their choice.   

In the meantime, I don't need feel I need anyone's permission or approval, it's something which gives me a great deal of pleasure and since it doesn't (well - usually) involve drinking, yelling and screaming, painting my face with daft flags or looking for rival fans to beat the living daylights out of, it's certainly less anti-social than other pastimes I could mention.

All I would say is that my research is just that - mine.   I have the information on paper and on my computer and so, from a purely personal point of view, I can't imagine any circumstances under which I would need or want to put it on 'the net';  although having said that, I know some people are happy to do so - I guess it's just a matter of personal choice.

You keep at it - if others don't like it ... just don't bother to tell them.

[johngirl]

Hi Mogsmum,

                    Thanks for your input. I also love family research, my husband thinks I`m a nut and so do my kids but they have no objection to my habit [family research]. I`m really only new to this habit so thought everyone put their family history on the net. I`m learning slowly.I will now though keep my research to myself and enjoy it
       Johngirl

[lizdb]

and enjoy it

Indeed!

[Nick29]

Hi,
  yes I have found quite a few children born before marriage, a murder and a few suicides but really who cares some family's have even more skeletons than our family........... 

So have I (but no suicides, though).  I think it comes as a shock to many people when they find out that their ancestors were not perfect, and made the same mistakes that people make today.  It must have been harder for them, because their communities were much more close-knit than ours, so it was harder to cover their indiscretions.

My sister likes it when I discover new things about the family, but when I find something bad, she initially refuses to believe it.  Recently I discovered a small blemish on my dad's naval record where he received punishment for a mistake that he made, but my sister refused to believe it until I showed her the evidence.  Some people don't like hearing the truth about their families.