My sister doesn`t want me to do the family history.

[cando]

Hi again

I would keep any further research to  myself and then you may find that curiousity will get the better of her...and she may start asking questions.  In the meantime I would avoid the topic of family research altogether well at least for a while.

Cheers
Cando

[johngirl]

Thanks AnneMc and Cando.

                    Yes hopefully curiosity will get the better of her. I told her it is my business what I do in my life as I don`t tell her what to do with hers.  I have also met some great people doing my research plus rellies I never knew excisted. Thanks everybody for making me feel better about doing my family history.Its my gain and she will miss out. Well must be off and find some more of my ancestors.

                     bye for now Johngirl

[Musicman]

My sister has told me in no uncertain terms that by me doing the family history it is upsetting the memory of my mother.

What a strange statement from your sister – I wonder just how she thinks your research will upset the memory of your mother.  Even if you asked her about her objection, I doubt you’d get a valid reason

Why should her view – and she doesn’t appear to have given a more logical reason for her comment, cause you to give up your research? Why should she be so demanding? This sounds to me like she has a good reason for objecting and wanting to stop your research – and is just using your mother as an excuse to stop you. 

I would say carry on with your hobby – you can’t just throw away all those hours of work just because of what she says.  Just don’t tell her anything more about what you’re doing.  After all, it has nothing to do with her whatsoever.

Keep up the good work!

John

[charlotteCH]

What everyone is saying is sense- if your sister doesn't like it, bad luck.  Her problem.  It's your hobby so just get on with it and avoid the topic with her, and your mother unless you are asked questions.  With a bit of luck your sister will just conclude you have dropped it. 

That all sounds like Mary's  Advice on the last page of The Spectator!

charlotte

[Guy Etchells]

Your sister is showing the signs of the endemic paranoia that is common these days.
It is wrapped up as privacy but in truth it is plain old fashioned censorship.

As a historian it is your duty to set down the truth for posterity, this is extremely important in this day and age where the present government use 'Orwell's 1984' as a rule book rather than a work of fiction.

Carry on with your research, ignore your sister's comments.
I would however you unlock your tree so that everyone can benefit from your research rather than a few.
I can never understand the point of uploading research to the web then locking it away from view.
Cheers
Guy

[pjbuk007]

I agree with most of what the others have said.

BUT I think she has a point if she was just objecting to your putting family information online, rather than in your doing the research per se.  I am one of many who would never put a tree on Ancestry or Genes.  No website is really secure.  You have no idea where the information will end up.  I can find a large tree on Ancestry which contains ALL the names in your profile (as well as many others); it is probably not yours, as you say it is private.  I just say this to illustrate my point.

Some of my relatives are against family history research for similar reasons - my grandmother was a very private person and would have hated the idea of her picture on the internet.  With tact, persuasion and showing them interesting things, some have come round.  Doing some courses (in research methods and recently oral history, so I can do "proper interviews") helped as well, as it gave my research a stamp of authority.

But as for her general objection to your research, as others have said, there is nothing she can do to stop you.  She may well come round if you employ your best diplomatic skills, slowly over the years.  But perhaps reconsidering having your tree online might win her over eventually!

[Helina]

You never know with families.   My sister has no interest in family history, I once presented her with a tree with she would not accept. But this I was not to surprised as she has never talked about our parents and in fact her children did not even know their names this they learnt from me.

So you are not the only one, but my sister has certainly no objection to what I do she is just not interested.

Good luck.

helina

[johngirl]

Thankyou for all your comments.
                                                  I`am glad that I`m not the only one to have this problem. And yes I`m not giving up on my research and yes I have put many hours of work into it. My sister was the one in the first place wanting to know who our ancestors were so I can not for the life of me understand her sudden decision to put a halt to my research.I think it is called menopause.  I also think its about the photos which as I have said no one can view without my sayso. But was is a tree without photos of your ancestors. I have done the family history so other people can see it thats what it is all about isn`t it.

           Johngirl

[Nick29]

Sometimes it can be hard when you have someone close to you who has no interest in Family History, and if you're all fired up about it (as many of us are), then it's hard to understand why they are not.

It's even worse when the person is someone who could help you with research, but doesn't want to.  My friend is trying to research his tree, but his mother (who didn't get on too well with her father) is reluctant to tell him anything.  

On the plus side, I've found that inviting relatives to view your tree brings people closer together.  I have lots of cousins spread across the world, and I now have about 30 people invited to my Ancestry tree, and it has been a talking point for all of them.  I still can't help thinking that my mother would not have been too keen, because she was a very private person herself, but I think she would have been surprised at some of the stuff that I've been able to turn up about the family.