Why can't I sprinkle ashes

[RachelK]

We took my uncle's ashes to Shrewsbury where he wanted them scattered, did not get permission as 'supposed to' but no one said anything. We did however laugh as my nan managed to drop the urn on the floor in the process which was ironic as she accidentally dropped HIM on the floor as a baby. Talk about going out as you came in.

Anyway, my nan passed away Sept 06, and my wonderful mother in Feb just gone. We still have both of their ashes and will be making another trip to Shrewsbury where they can join my uncle, where they wanted to be scattered.

My advice is to scatter them whatever you've been told you can/can't do.

[Mogsmum]

I agree with Nick29, my own personal view is that headstones are for the living although I realise that visiting a final resting place is something from which a large number of people derive comfort.   For me, I prefer to remember those I've lost as happy,  healthy, vibrant people (not, as in my parents' case elderly and severly disabled) and I'm glad my parents made the choice they did for what happened to their ashes.   I recall my Gran losing my Grandad after 62 years of truly happy marriage and, on being asked if she would like to be taken to visit the grave, saying  'Why?  He's not there ..' before pointing to her heart and saying '.. but he is here.'

And since this is The Lighter Side - I am leaving instructions that when I finally shuffle off my mortal coil,  I insist my daughters have 'AT LAST' spelt out in flowers - purely because when the question 'Don't you mean At Rest?' is asked, they can turn round and say 'No, she took so bloomin long to snuff it - we know what we mean' 

[wotty]

My grandmother's second husband had been born with a "cowl" (a membrane that covered his face). The midwife had removed the cowl and told his mother that if he kept it with him all the time then he would never drown. The years went by, he was in the navy and then was a marine engineer and always lived by the sea. He always had the cowl in his wallet. Well, he left instructions that when he died he wanted to be buried at sea. Of course, it's practically impossible to do that and so we decided to have him cremated. Mum then went off to his favourite place on the coast with a view to scattering his ashes on the sea (all sneaky and without anyone knowing but us). It was a beautiful still sunny day, the tide was in so in theory all she had to do was tip the ashes over the edge of the cliff. But no, just as she did the deed, the wind got up and yes, she was covered in ashes! Years later, I wondered what had happened to that cowl and whether he had still had it with him when he went to the crem........

[rancegal]

When my dad died we scattered his ashes on Mum's grave. We didn't ask anyone, just went to the cemetery and dug a few small holes in the soil (there's quite a lot of ash!) and put them in, then sprinkled the rest around.
     My dad died in York and I was living in Northampton at that time so his ashes came via parcel post! Our vicar had prepared me for this, but the delivery man looked a bit shocked when I said 'Oh, it's my dad's ashes!'

    BTW it's my understanding that usually ashes to be scattered are put in an urn, and ashes to be interred are put in a sealed casket

[KathMc]

I say go for it. When my uncle died, the plan was to scattered his ashes at the beach where he was a lifeguard in the 40s and 50s on the Jersey Shore. So as not to raise suspicions, my 8 cousins and my mother (his only sibling) went to the beach alone. As they pulled up to park, there were police cars sitting there, so they had to park farther down the beach and walk. The entrance they ended up going through had a new plaque out front in honor of one of my uncle's best friends, who helped bring surfing to the East Coast. They walked to the spot where they wanted to release the ashes, let them go in the surf and as they turned to leave, a large wave splashed them all -- my uncle having his last laugh. 

[Carol22]

Hi everyone,

thanks for all your messages and amusing stories.

THE DEED IS DONE....

We went to the cemetery on Sunday afternoon, thankfully no one about, my husband dug the hole, I was the lookout, the soil was wonderful, he manged to dig a deep hole, trying to avoid the millions of ants. tipped his Mum's ashes into the hole, covered them over with soil and then put the grass sod back on. it only had a concrete flower type pot, so we put that back and it looked very good. took a few pics for the family history book, so future generations will know where it is, if they are even interested that is. I hope she could see us, I am so sure she would have said 'dont bother just chuck them on the garden' but when you are told 'you cannot do that..................

Caz

[elin]

Well Done U!!  

Elin

[KathMc]

Good job.

Kath

[valerie2]

I have been reading this thread with intrest as we are also going for a stroll round a church very soon, to carry out my Father in law's wishes.
Some years ago we moved, and in an old coal bunker my husband found an urn still filled with someones ashes. He had died five year's before. We did not have a forwarding address nor the neighbors, so I took them to our local council and they assured me they would dispose them appropriately. Fancy putting someones ashes there and forgetting! how sad