Mystery photo in need of a better look!

[O1dgobbo]

Hi All especially Rabbit

Music while you wait!  It's not exactly military music but it is my favourite song and first came to British wirelesses from North Africa in WWII.  Look on

http://ingeb.org/garb/lmarleen.html

My personal favourite is the German Lale Andersen 732 kB 1939.  I do not recall having ever heard the English Lale Anderson 1942 but that sounded pretty good today.  I did not enjoy the Vera Lynn and Ann Shelton versions during the war - they seemed to lack the poignancy that Lale brings to the song.  However, Marlene Dietrich's version sounds very good and there is also a modern English version by Jill Daniels that I enjoy.  You can find this at

http://www.jilldaniels.com/LILI-MARLENE.htm

Good luck

Gobbo

[scrimnet]

Right then you 'orrible lot...Listen in...

The first from that doyen of musical mirth Stanley Holloway...

'Twere Christmas Eve in the trenches,
In Spain, in Peninsular War
And Sam Small were cleaning 'is musket,
A thing that he'd ne'er done before.
For they'd had an inspection that mornin'
And Sam had gone down in disgrace.
For when Sergeant 'had looked down the barrel ---
A sparrer flew out in 'is face!

The sergeant reported the matter
To Leftenant Byrd, then and there.
Said Leftenant " 'Ow jolly disgusting.
The Duke must be told of this 'ere!"
The duke were upset when he 'eard it.
'E said, "I'm astonished, I am.
I must make a most drastic example.
There'll be no Christmas pudding for Sam!"

When Sam were informed of his sentence
Surprise rooted 'im to the spot.
'Twere far worse than 'e 'ad expected---
'E thought as he'd merely be shot.
So Sam sat there, cleanin' 'is musket
And polishing barrel and butt
While the pudding 'is mother 'ad sent 'im
Lay there, on the ground, near 'is foot.

Now the sector that Sam's lot were 'olding
Ran about a place called Badajoz
Where the Spaniards 'ad put up a bastion,
And Oh! what a bastion it was.
They pounded away all that morning,
Bombarding as 'ard as they could,
And the Duke brought 'is own private cannon;
But that weren't a ha'pporth of good.

The Duke said, "Sam. Put dahn thy musket.
And help me to lay this gun true."
Said Sam, "Ye'd be best askin' favors
Of them as ye give puddin' to."
The Duke looked at Sam so reproachful
And "Don't take it that way." says he,
"Us generals have got to be ruthless.
It hurt me more than it did thee."

Sam sniffed at these words, kind of septic
Then looked at the Duke's private gun,
And said "We best put in two charges.
We'll never bust bastion wi' one."
Sam tipped cannon ball out of muzzle,
Then took out the wadding and all,
Filled barrel chock full of powder,
Then picked up and replaced the ball.

Sam sighted once, right along barrel,
And said,"Righto Duke! Let 'er fly!"
The cannon nigh jumped off its trunnions!
And oop went the bastion, sky-high!
The Duke, 'e weren't 'arf elated,
He danced all around in great glee,
And said, "Sam. For thy gallant action
Ye can 'ot up yer puddin' for tea."

Sam bent down to pick up 'is puddin'
But it weren't nowhere about
In the place where 'e thought 'e 'ad left it
Were the cannonball 'e 'ad tipped out!
Sam saw in a flash what 'ad 'appened.
By an unprecedented mis'ap
The puddin' 'is mother 'ad sent 'im
'Ad blown Badajoz off the map!

Which is why cannoneers wear to this day
A badge, which they think's a grenade.
But it's not. It's a brass reproduction
Of the puddin' Sam's mother once made.

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CHORUS: Who's that knocking at my door?
Big Valerie Wilkins and she lives next door.
Curses, curses! She wants to play at nurses
And I want to play at war.

When Valerie Wilkins comes to play, she is always the leader.
She always gets her own way, the rotten selfish bleeder!
The reason that she bosses me:
I'm 3 ft 7. She's 4 ft 3.
Besides, she's 3 months older than me, so I do what I'm told,
Cos she is six and a quarter and I'm only six years old.

Chorus

When she's in a good mood, she lets me play at cowboys,
But she's got her nurse's apron on, so I'll have to play at hospitals now, boys,
And there's no fun for me in store.
She makes me lie in bed for an hour or more,
Pretends I've got pneumonia instead of just a cold,
But she is six and a quarter and I'm only six years old.

Chorus

Then one day at teatime, I said I want to play with me rifle.
Valerie threw a tantrum, spit right in me trifle,
And then she screamed at me.
She pulled my hair, then kicked me on the knee,
Causing me to spill my tea all on my sausage roll,
Cos she is six and a quarter and I'm only six years old.

Chorus

Then one day it occurred to me, I was six and a quarter.
I'd caught up with Valerie, could hardly hold me water.
I was happy as can be,
And then me ma explained to me,
I could never be as old as Valerie, and then began to laugh,
Cos I am six and a quarter, but she is six and a half.

Chorus

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One for the Northerners....

Old Sammy Shuttleworth of Lancashire
He gave a party, last neet.
All the lasses and the lads were there,
Bunged in the door hole, stuck reet!
The guests were fat and the house was small,
and They got stuck in the entrance hall.
Owd Johnny Bugger got a tin of Vaseline,
He greased all the lobby and they all slid in.
Eeee! There were 'undreds on the door mat,
Eeee! There were 'undreds on the rug,
Eeee! There were dozens on the slop stone.
Little Polly Higgins went and tumbled down the plug,
Eeee. And we heard a woman screamin',
We saw some lace and naughty ribbons blue
And Aunt Maria sat on the fire
And went and burnt her Isle of Wight
And ee by gum we 'ad a right good do.

At the supper there were cow-heel stew,
Real devilled tripe and pigs' feet,
While they were gollopin' the slutch, it's true,
You could 'ave 'eard 'em, next street,
Eee what fun when old Aunt Ruth
Speared a pickled onion on her front tooth,
Eee by gum and the fun were rich
When we all started fightin' for the parson's snitch!
Eeee! There were kippers a la francais,
Eeee! and saucy little Sal
Eeee! she guzzled all the fishbones,
They stuck up her Manchester and Liverpool canal,
Eeee! she were coughin' and a splutterin'
We 'ad to send around for Doctor Drew
And all the lads they stood around
And watched the Doctor fillet her,
And ee by gum, we 'ad a right good do.


After supper there was dustman's knock,
Kissin' all the wenches was fine,
Owd Albert 'Iggins, the lazy lad
He started workin' overtime,
Owd Aunt May, tha knows what she did
She did an exhibition dance on the copper boiler lid,
The lid it bust and we heard a scream,
You couldn't see me poor owd Aunty May for steam,
Eeee! with her brand new evening dress on,
Eeee! there were little Polly Dwyer
Eeee! and some bugger threw a woodbine
Down her camisole and set her shuttlecocks on fire.
Eeee! and they put 'er out wi' water
Just when we'd all got a lovely view
So Albert 'Iggins got a match and set the lass on fire again,
And ee by gum we 'ad a right good do.

At the party there was lots of ale,
But we ran out of pots at 'alf time
Owd Uncle Albert used the chamber Po
And he said it tasted right fine,
Ee what fun when me Uncle 'Orace
Went and guzzled all the metal polish,
'E went black and started to cough
And the polish nearly polished Uncle 'Orace off.
Eeee! when we woke up in the mornin'
Eeee! we'd 'ad the time of all our lives,
Eeee! we were so enthusiastic
Other fellers toddled 'ome with other fellers wives
Eeee! and we thowt it all were champion,
But what that party was we never knew,
'Cos if it was a wedding a christnin' or a funeral,
Eee by gum we 'ad a right good do...

[scrimnet]

Spoken
Forget your snow and reindeer and all that damn malarky
Down here Father Christmas wears a pair of shorts.... KHAKI

Chorus.
Oh, Christmas in Australia is Christmas in paradise,
Christmas in Australia is basically, 'Bloody Nice',
Bruce is going steady with Sheila, and Sheila's going steady with Bruce,
And if you ain't got a Christmas suntan, you're a 'Pommie' and you ain't no use

It's ninety in the shade at Christmas, the sun's a blazing 'phew',
So grab a tube of Foster's and a slice of cold kangaroo.
Bruce is waxing his surf board, and waxing his Shiela too,
It's a great Australian Christmas, ya-hoo!

Chorus.

It was a lovely sunny Christmas, we had a party on the beach,
Sang Australian carols, you should have heard us screech.
Our 'Silent Night' put the birds to flight and the likes are heard only seldom,
Of 'Once In Royal Bruce's City', and "O little town of Melbourne."

Chorus.

Bruce and Sheila disappeared round the far side of the truck,
They were gone for quite some a while, we shouted, "Are you stuck?"
Then I had a bright idea, said, "I know what I'll do,
I'll play 'Oh Come All Ye Faithful' on Bruce's didgeridoo.

Chorus.

As the afternoon wore on everyone got paralytic,
A drunken brawl developed from a friendly game of cricket.
Rolf Harris turned up finally to distract us from our combat,
By painting a lovely picture of Rudolf the Red Nosed Wombat.

Chorus.

[scrimnet]

From WW1....

If the sjt drinks your Rum, never mind,
And your face may lose it's smile, never mind
He's entitled to a tot, but not the bleedin lot
If the sjt drinks your Rum, never mind

When old Jerry shells your trench, never mind,
And your face may lose it's smile, never mind
Though the sandbags bust & fly you have only once to die,
If old Jerry shells your trench, never mind

If you get stuck on the wire, never mind,
And your face may lose it's smile, never mind
Though if your stuck there all the day, they count you dead & stop your pay
If you get stuck on the wire, never mind

If the sjt says your mad, never mind
P'raps you are a little bit, never mind
Just be calm, don't answer back, cause the sjt stands no slack
So if he says your mad, well - you are.......

[scrimnet]

A Napoleonic song of soldiers...



It's of a gentleman soldier on sentry he did stand
He saluted a fair young maid with a waving of his hand
So boldly then he kissed her and he passed it as a joke
Then he drilled her in his sentry-box wrapped up in a soldier's cloak

Chorus
And the drums they go with a rat-a-tat-tat
And the fifes do loudly play
Saying, Fare thee well my Polly dear
I must be going away

Oh come you gentleman soldier, and won't you marry me
Oh no my dearest Polly, this thing can never be
For married I am already and children I have three
Two wives are allowed in the army but one's too many for me

Chorus

It's come my gentleman soldier, why didn't you tell me so
My parents will be angry when this they come to know
When nine long months was up and passed,
this poor girl she brought shame
She had a little militia boy and she didn't know his name

Chorus

If anyone comes a-courting you you treat him to a glass
If anyone comes a-courting you say you're a country lass
You needn't even tell him that you ever played a joke
That ever you drilled in a sentry box wrapped up in a soldier's cloak

Chorus

[scrimnet]

About WW1 but written later...

My name is Francis Tolliver, I come from Liverpool.
Two years ago the war was waiting for me after school.
To Belgium and to Flanders, to Germany to here
I fought for King and country I love dear.
'Twas Christmas in the trenches, where the frost so bitter hung,
The frozen fields of France were still, no Christmas song was sung
Our families back in England were toasting us that day
Their brave and glorious lads so far away.

I was lying with my messmates on the cold and rocky ground
When o're the field of battle came a most peculiar sound
Says I, ``Now listen up, me boys!'' each soldier strained to hear
As one young German voice sang out so clear.
``He's singing bloody well, you know!'' my partner says to me
then one by one, each German voice joined in harmony
The cannons rested silent, the gas clouds rolled no more
As Christmas brought us respite from the war

As soon as they were finished and a reverent pause was spent
``God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen'' struck up some lads from Kent
The next they sang was ``Stille Nacht.'' ``Tis `Silent Night','' says I
And in two tongues one song filled up that sky
``There's someone coming toward us!'' the front line sentry cried
All sights were fixed on one long figure trudging from their side
His truce flag, like a Christmas star, shown on that plain so bright
As he, bravely, strode unarmed into the night

Then one by one on either side walked into "No Man's Land"
With neither gun nor bayonet we met there hand to hand
We shared some secret brandy and we wished each other well
And in a flare-lit soccer game we gave them hell
We traded chocolates, cigarettes, and photographs from home
These sons and fathers far away from families of their own
Young Sanders played the squeezebox and they had a violin
This curious and unlikely band of men

Than daylight stole upon us and France was France once more
With sad farewells we each prepared to settle back to war
But the question haunted every heart that lived that wonderous night
``Whose family have I fixed within my sights?''
'Twas Christmas in the trenches where the frost, so bitter hung
The frozen fields of France were warmed when songs of peace were sung
For the walls they'd built between us to exact their work of war
Were crumbled and were gone forevermore

My name is Francis Tolliver, in Liverpool I dwell
Each Christmas come since World War I, I've learned its lessons well
But the ones who call the shots won't be among the dead and lame
And on each end of the rifle we're the same

[scrimnet]

And from the Crimean war....

As I roved down through Irish town one evening last July,
The mother of a soldier in tears I did espy,
Saying: "God be with you, Johnny dear,though you are far from me;
For you my heart is breaking, since you went to the Crimee.

"O Johnny, I gave you schooling; I gave you a trade likewise
That you need not have joined the army had you took my advice.
You need not have gone to face your foes where cannons loudly roar,
And thousands fall their victims upon the Russian shore.

He joined the fourteenth regiment, it being a gallant corps;
They landed safe while mentioned upon the Russian shore.
He fought in four engagements with the loss of men each day,
O many's the mother shedding tears for them that's far away.'

"We fought at Balaklava where we did not succeed;
Down in the Valley of Inkerman where thousands there did bleed.
'Twas on the heights of Alma that we did gain the day,
Young Johnny mentioned all to me, though he is far away."

The fighting at Sebastopol would give the world surprise;
It being so hard to take it, the enemy were so wise.
But Paddy's sons with British guns their valor did display,
And together with the sons of France, thank God, we gained the day.

Now to conclude and finish, I mean to end my song;
I'm thankful to the great God that I've survived so long.
Likewise unto you, mother dear, for me you did adore,
I'm happy to return again to childhood's home once more.