Do we idealise our ancestors?

[chinakay]

Just off on a mental rabbit track and thought I'd get some input...

We go through so much trouble to gain a single scrap of information about some great-great-great grandfather, but is the scrap more valuable to us than the actual person? We're interested in how he lived, but it's impossible to know what kind of person he was, unless he left behind vast sheafs of letters and diaries, and how often does that happen? So do we have some kind of romanticised ideal about the personalities of our ancestors, a kind of Victorian "The Waltons" scene? Kindly, honest, hard-working people with simple tastes and simple pleasures?

I also know that my ancestors were likely to be curmudgeonly drunken old grouches...but I don't think of them that way. I guess I prefer to think of them like Pinocchio's Giuseppe

How about some other Rootschatters' feelings on this?

Cheers,
China

[JoMC]

That's my approach,China. I try to read up on all the social and local history going (and fiction)  to try to get into their lives. I was lucky with a couple of lines because I had letters but the others I have to imagine from what's available.

I really hate the butterfly collecting mentality of the 'tree' approach. It's no more than collecting train or car numbers 

That's my rant for tonight - maybe 

Gadget <dot>

[g a r]

Interesting question China.

I have no illusions about my ancestors.

My quest is to find where the cycle of wrongness began, not to pin blame, but to try and understand the circumstances that drive people to certain behaviours. And maybe along the way to see if any broke the cycle.

g a r

[Roobarb]

So do we have some kind of romanticised ideal about the personalities of our ancestors, a kind of Victorian "The Waltons" scene? Kindly, honest, hard-working people with simple tastes and simple pleasures?

I must admit, I do tend to think of them in that way, living in peaceful villages surrounded by their families, rosy-cheecked and happy. Deep down I know that the truth of the matter is that they led very hard lives in heavy industry, were very poor and probably quite miserable as a result of it. And no doubt there were a few wrong uns in there!


Mind you, I did have TWO great grandfathers who were local preachers! That should offset the bad ones!
                                             

[brendam]

I'm with you g a r, I'm trying to find out the 'why'.  I have the usual details, birth, marriage, death .  I have a few details, but I'm trying to find out why things were the way the were.

For example, my grandmother was a British Home Child, I want to know what the circumstances were that sent her to a home.  

My grandfather was (so I have heard) abusive and committed suicide (fact).  What was his life like that caused this behaviour.  By the way, the cycle was broken, Dad never once laid a hand on us - he could certainly yell, but never spanked.   I haven't asked many details on my grandfather, no-one talks about him (he died long before I was born).  Just recently Dad has been giving me little tidbits and trying to help with my family search.  My last visit home I showed what work I had completed and Dad disappeared for awhile looking through his personal papers to see if he had anyting to help me (that was a big step for Dad).  I'm not certain how to ask about their life growing up, it is a very touchy subject.  I can't judge someone I've never met - I am interested in finding out about him and his family.  Any words of advice?

Happy New Year
Brenda

[chinakay]

I really hate the butterfly collecting mentality of the 'tree' approach. It's no more than collecting train or car numbers 

Yes, exactly right. I found that's what I was doing at first...yay, another name. Then it seemed to me I might as well be sticking pins in a name dictionary and making them up. I began researching historical background.

And yes, gar, breaking the cycle is often where you might find an ancestor emigrating to a new country.

Cheers,
C

[adee7]

For me the b.m.d.s are essential, but only as a starting point.  

Some time ago I learned the dates and places associated with my gt.gt.gt. grandparents in Scotland.  He was a handloom weaver.  During my search for information about the flax industry, I could feel nothing but admiration for the people involved.  

A plus was discovering that a famous author was born in the same town as my ancestor.

As gar stated, I have no illusions but there are some ancestors whose stories I've uncovered that could cause me to say, 'Glad to know you'.

Kathleen

[patrexjax]

Hello Brenda, Your comments really hit home with me. My Father NEVER wanted to discuss anything about his life in England; all I knew when I started my quest was his birth date and place. Once, as a child, I asked him, rather naively, what religion he was. He winked and told me, "Well, let's just say the Quakers were good people!" For the first few years of my roots quest - long after Dad had died - I really thought he was a Quaker.  Then I was fortunate enough to travel to his birth place of Newcastle-on-Tyne and saw the area where he was raised. There on a wall, in concrete, were the words, "Quaker Soup Kitchen."    Now it all made sense!!!! When my Dad was hungry and there was precious little food on the table -- I knew what he meant!!! Sometimes a picture or an image is, indeed, worth a thousand words.  All I can say is that for my experience, consider ALL possible angles and always do complete searching on all siblings, when possible. And, with the help of the marvelous Rootschatters you will have lots of help. Pat

[mazwad]

Finding events surrounding ancestors is fascinating and keeps throwing me off in all kinds of directions.  I foundout that Gt granfather was a special constable in Clerkenwell, West Ham and it turns out that was because of a Fenian bomb attack on the prison. 

Same Gt Grandfather died in Colney Hatch Asylum age 55 and was in there at the same time as someone accused of being Jack the Ripper so then you start reading about that and get the feel for Victorian London.