Author Topic: Everyone should make a will  (Read 5119 times)

Offline Subaru

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Re: Everyone should make a will
« Reply #9 on: Saturday 29 September 07 01:29 BST (UK) »
I always use "biological" father when talking about my eldest daughter's (biological)dad.  He never saw her until she was 18.  My husband is the one she calls "dad", we married when she was five, and as toni said - we both had to adopt her.  I was so annoyed when I had to write to ask permission from her "biological" dad for the adoption, even though he was the one who took off with somebody else when I was heavily pregnant.
I couldn't understand why I had to adopt her as well.  I didn't know we could have just registered her at the same time as the marriage. 

My daughter got married in May, and her dad (not biological) walked her down the aisle.  Biological wasn't present - a proud day for both of us :)

As yet, we haven't made a will, but it's something I keep meaning to look into.  I think I would probably just cry all the time while I was doing the wording.

Offline kooky

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Re: Everyone should make a will
« Reply #10 on: Saturday 29 September 07 07:58 BST (UK) »
When my aunt died in 1994, we thought she would have made a will because she was so organised.
Wrong! :o
She had every utility bill in chronological order back to the war.
She had a huge address book with all updates etc.
She had a birthday book with all the family in it.
She never forgot a birthday or anniversary.
No will.
We searched the house from top to bottom. We employed a solicitor to try and find the will. Nothing.
It took over a year to sort everything out. She had no children, so siblings were next. If siblings had died then their share was divided among their children. It caused a lot of upset and cost a fortune.
Make a will!
Kooky
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Offline toni*

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Re: Everyone should make a will
« Reply #11 on: Saturday 29 September 07 10:26 BST (UK) »
She had a huge address book with all updates etc.
She had a birthday book with all the family in it.
She never forgot a birthday or anniversary.

No will.


i bet that has been very useful in researching your tree!
Holman & Vinton- Cornwall, Wojciechowskyj & Hussak- Bukowiec & Zahutyn, Bentley & Richards- Leicester, Taylor-Kent/Sussex  Punnett-Sussex,  Bear/e- Monkleigh Gazey-Warwicks

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Offline toni*

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Re: Everyone should make a will
« Reply #12 on: Saturday 29 September 07 10:32 BST (UK) »
I always use "biological" father when talking about my eldest daughter's (biological)dad.  He never saw her until she was 18.  My husband is the one she calls "dad", we married when she was five, and as toni said - we both had to adopt her.  I was so annoyed when I had to write to ask permission from her "biological" dad for the adoption, even though he was the one who took off with somebody else when I was heavily pregnant.
I couldn't understand why I had to adopt her as well.  I didn't know we could have just registered her at the same time as the marriage. 

My daughter got married in May, and her dad (not biological) walked her down the aisle.  Biological wasn't present - a proud day for both of us :)

As yet, we haven't made a will, but it's something I keep meaning to look into.  I think I would probably just cry all the time while I was doing the wording.

Hi, i know you can reregister the child in the new married name but not sure if the leagl rights are the same.

and i know about the bit having to get permisson from the biological parent for adoption, esp. when you don't have anything to do with them. and apparently now you can't just get their name changed by deed poll (if it is a child under 18) you have to go to court or wait to see if someone appeals.

and you are having to give up your 'natural rights as the parent to adopt the child. this i feel is wrong.

much easier to marry! 

and with regards to making a will it is difficult isn't it who should get what?
Holman & Vinton- Cornwall, Wojciechowskyj & Hussak- Bukowiec & Zahutyn, Bentley & Richards- Leicester, Taylor-Kent/Sussex  Punnett-Sussex,  Bear/e- Monkleigh Gazey-Warwicks

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Offline mike175

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Re: Everyone should make a will
« Reply #13 on: Saturday 29 September 07 11:41 BST (UK) »
and with regards to making a will it is difficult isn't it who should get what?

Yes, that bit can be a minefield, but even if you only say something simple like "all my estate to be divided equally among my three children", it avoids a lot of legal delays when the time comes . . . and then they can have all the fun of fighting over who gets what.

Could be the start of generations of family feuding . . .  :-\

Maybe just leave the lot to charity and disappoint them all . . .  ;D

Mike.
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Offline Subaru

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Re: Everyone should make a will
« Reply #14 on: Saturday 29 September 07 13:55 BST (UK) »
My stingy uncle died about 20 years ago, and left all his money to the monks at Belmont :o

He had always been stingy. He lived with my other uncle and aunt, none of them married, and all in the house they were born in.  My poor aunty cooked and cleaned for them both, with no thanks.  Neither of the brothers spoke to each other much, communicating through my aunt.  The stingy one ate in the living room on a mahogany table with a tablecloth etc.  The uncle with a heart of gold and no money sat at a formica table in the kitchen - no tablecloth.

Stingy uncle had a leather chair in the living room, and kept all his lemonade, chocs, biscuits locked up in a wardrobe in his bedroom.  When we visited, he would ask if we wanted a glass of lemonade, and he would take a glass up, fill it and bring it back down!!!  He had a dog that nobody dared stroke, that he gave chocolate to, and slept on my aunt's bed.  We all used to joke that when he died he would leave his money to the dog's home.

Kind uncle would give us lollipops, and stop his bread van in the middle of the traffic to speak to us.

When my aunt died, stingy uncle got his own flat, and lived there until he died, leaving not a penny to his poor brother who had struggled most of his life, and carried on living in the family council home. 

We were shocked to find that he had left £90,000 to the monks (he never went to church), just so that none of us got his money.  My dad tried to get some money for the kind brother so that he didn't have to struggle so much ( my dad always tried to help him, and we didn't need stingy uncle's money anyway)  But he had stressed in his will where the money was to go.

How bitter and twisted was that?


Offline Nadine Moore

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Re: Everyone should make a will
« Reply #15 on: Saturday 29 September 07 14:09 BST (UK) »
Toni & Subaru

I'm not sure that just because you marry you can change your child's name (especially if your new husband is not the natural father)

When my daughter was born I was unmarried (1980's) but was advised to put her dad's name on the birth cert. We were told that if her dad's name wasn't on it and we then married, both of us would have to adopt our own child ???.

However, because he was named on it when we did marry 18 months later we did just send a copy of our marriage cert and her old birth cert away and she was re-registered in his name and a new birth cert was issued.

dinie
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Offline toni*

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Re: Everyone should make a will
« Reply #16 on: Saturday 29 September 07 14:24 BST (UK) »
Hi Dinie

i know of a couple of cases where the birth has simply been reregisterd in the new name when the marriage took place, in one case the woman married the father the child had her maiden name and so when they married his name was changed to the fathers name. - the birth was reregistered at the same time no sending away certs.
the other case the new husband was not the father of the child yet the child  was reregistered with the new married name.
i do not know if they had to get permission from the absent father in the second case.




Holman & Vinton- Cornwall, Wojciechowskyj & Hussak- Bukowiec & Zahutyn, Bentley & Richards- Leicester, Taylor-Kent/Sussex  Punnett-Sussex,  Bear/e- Monkleigh Gazey-Warwicks

UK Census information is Crown Copyright from www.nationalarchive

Offline Subaru

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Re: Everyone should make a will
« Reply #17 on: Saturday 29 September 07 18:52 BST (UK) »
Where do you live dinie? Are you in England?
 In my case, I wasn't advised to put the father's name of my daughter's birth certificate.  I only got the short certificate with my name and her details on it.  I didn't meet my husband until she was five years old, and were married shortly after.  The day we married, we made a big fuss of her, and made her feel as though it was her day as well.  She called him dad from that day, and it was like a ceremony for all three of us.  We did change her name that day at school etc. but felt that we had to go through the legal channels to make it concrete