When finding someone seems impossible did you carry on?

[lesleyhannah]

Hi everyone

I bet there are loads of us out here who can identify with all these stories. Like Gwerninion I've been researching my tree for many years - a personal quest as I never knew my father, and wanted to know why I had a foreign surname. Well, I got as far back as great-grandfather who appeared, married and died between two censuses, with no details of his 'roots' on the marriage or death certificates. As his wife died within months my grandfather was orphaned and brought up by step-grandparents.

Over the years I've spent hours on the internet and at Kew, and written hundreds of letters and emails, looking for clues. I've traced the trees of all the adoptive grandparents and contacted anyone who might have just a snippet of information.

The twist to my tale is that I did find another descendant of this foreign-sounding great-grandfather. At first he was so enthusiastic, and I sent him my one photo of my grandfather and his children, and details of all the certificates. Then the reply came back - things were difficult and he couldn't help me. And despite a couple of gentle requests, I never heard another word.

So just how frustrating is that - the one person left in the world who could help (the only descendant of my grandfather that I know of), and he doesn't want to know.

I fill my time by tracing more distant relatives, from my mother's side. I also trace the families of my children's partners and my husband. And one or two inlaws, as a favour. And always keeping my fingers crossed that one day . . .

So Gwerninion I know just how you feel, and share your frustration. As KathMc says, it's so maddening that I have relatives on my tree going back to the 1600s yet cannot find out who my great-grandfather was!

However, a friend who was adopted (before the days when adoptive parents were easily traceable) and she envies the fact that I can trace even one side of my family - so I tell myself to count my blessings!

Good luck to you all. I wish you all success.

[jillynetter]

lesleyhannah, that is so sad! I do hope that one day you'll find your answers, especially hard too when you find everyone elses for them x

[bluewhoopi]

My goodness lesleyhannah - what a story! They say that truth is stranger than fiction don't they? I do wish you all the very best of success in your continuing researches and hope that one of these fine days 'someone' will pop up out of the records to provide a solution for you. In the meantime I shall try not to think of my elusive missing step-great grandmother as such a very big deal! But I suppose it's all relative innit?  Sorry, I'm a sucker for a bad pun.....

[alllegs]

I empathise with you all as I have similar brick walls which seem unsurmountable.

I have my gr gr grandparents on the 1891 census and their death certificates, gr gr grandad was called William Williams and born in Wales (no town mentioned on census), I can't find him anywhere else, he died in 1895 in Teeside.  Gr gr gran died in 1902 but I cannot find her in 1901, neither can I find 2 of her 3 children.  1 child was with her aunt and uncle.  This family were a complete mystery to begin with as my gran (daughter of the child with aunt and uncle on 1901) knew nothing about them as her mother died when she was 6mths old and she was brought up by her paternal grandparents, everything about her maternal family was kept secret, all gran knew was her mother had died and she had an Aunt Pattie in the USA who sent her gifts as a child.  Pattie turned out to actually be called Martha Jane!  She is still missing from the 1901 like her mother Jane, and sister Rachel.

However, on the flip side I thought I'd never find Martha, I have her on census' after her marriage to Thomas Taylor with children born in London, York, Huddersfield, Wakefield, Bradford and Oldham, all of which had really common names.  She stated she was born in Northamptonshire but no specific town.  I managed to trace her by searching for Thomas Taylor marriages in London, (where the first two children were born) to a Martha and then searching the 1841 census for the Martha's to see if they were in Northants.  Only 1 was found to be born and living in Northants.  Since, I have located some of the children's births, her parents (who were matron and govenor of Northants borough prison gaol and house of correction). 

Another mystery is that of Mary Amelia Gledhill, on some census' she is Mary, on others Amelia, her marriage cert states Mary Amelia, father James but can I find her prior to her marriage, as a child with her father or any trace of her father...NO!

But don't give up, keep plugging away and you never know you might have a break through one day.

Good Luck
Legs
xxxx

[WHS1899]

It's my grandmother Charlotte Ellen Sear I can't find! My Dad says she was born 1905, my aunt says 1904 (they were brought up by their Dad after their Mum left , so facts are hard to come by). I can find no trace of her birth from those dates. Got my grandparents marriage cert, from her age on that we had a different year of birth. Have checked that and all the dates in between and either side. I'm wondering now if she was ever registered? She was apparently one of 17and the youngest! Perhaps they had no time do do it! I have been able to trace (I think) her parents from the details on her marriage cert, and have traced about 4 siblings.....a few to go! I'm hoping the 1911 census will throw up some clues to her birth. Give up? Never!
Beverley

[AmandaJ]

To those who are frustrated by someone who doesnt seem to exsist but you know did.

I spent ages looking for a ancestor on my husbands tree. I have since located her. She married and died but was not born.The maiden name on her marriage cert was not the name she was born with, she had assumed the surname of one of her mother's husbands. Which at the time was a stumbling block as I had no idea who her mother was. It was only by posting a message on a genealogy board that someone who was related to her saw it and I found out who she was etc. They had been looking for what had happened to this lady for a long time so I filled in some blanks for them too.

Another incident was my great grandmother was born in Newfoundland in the 1880's and we had lost touch with the descendants of her siblings. In this case I found an old address for her niece and then searched the white pages (USA) and found a man who was possibly a connection. I wrote to him and he passed the letter on to a member of the famly who was doing the tree and yes it was a hit.

But both took me ages and at time I thought I would never discover who they were and who their parents were etc.

I hope that gives you a bit of encouragement not to give up but every now and then keep on trying

[LizzieW]

Amanda

Thanks for your encouragement.  I see I posted on this thread on 1 August 2007 to say I was looking for my g.grandfather and I wasn't going to give up until I found him (before his name appears on my gran's birth certificate).

I've still not found his origins and I'm still not giving up.  I think I will find out who he was eventually

Lizzie

[lesleyhannah]

I wonder - many of us are having these problems not with ancestors from hundreds of years ago, but great-grandfathers etc. Did any of you make any progress with the help of the 1911 census? My own foreign great-grandfather had died long since, but I did have a little breakthrough. My grandfather and his brother were adopted separately as babies after they were orphaned. I'd assumed they lost contact, as they moved to different parts of the country, but in 1911 my great-uncle was lodging with my grandparents. It doesn't help me in my search for my 'roots' but it gave me another little window into their lives.

[LizzieW]

1911 census hasn't helped so far with my g.grandfather as he lived in Yorkshire and that is one of the counties not transcribed yet.  My only hope is that it gives more information about his birth place, but I doubt it, or that his mother is living with him or nearby.  As no-one can find a marriage between g.grandad and g.grandmother, I don't even have a father's name for him, the only possible name I have is for his mother but then it is only a surname, which is not the same as his.

Lizzie