Contacts going quiet

[al b]

I think some of these people get ofended by what there people did. My thought is it was a hundred or two years ago. I have an ancestor that was a Pirate. He died 1756 and who cares. If you stew about what happened hundreds of years ago must not have anything else to do  al b

[devongirl]

Dont take it to heart Sharon.  Sometimes people do get excited by finding a contact but many people (myself) included are doing several branches of the family and perhaps the information just got 'buried' in the pile. 

I try to keep in touch with my contacts at least once a year whether or not there has been any fresh information.  Some have fallen by the wayside and after the first swapping of information I never hear from them again, but I'm getting philosophical about it now and concentrate on the nice ones that do stay in touch.  Hope you have many of these

Devon Girl

[Ruskie]

If you really want the information you think this contact has, I would email her again. Do not accuse her of blanking you - she may not have done this, perhaps she has unintentionally just given this impression.

It's impossible to speculate on others thoughts or lives. I agree with Devon Girl, she may be working on another branch of the tree, or given up searching altogether. If there is a long complicated story surrounding this aunt, you never know, she maybe can't be bothered or just hasn't got round to sitting down and typing it up (a chore for some people).

You have nothing to lose by emailing and asking her again. I'd ask directly about the aunt and say that curiosity is getting the better of you. How would you feel about giving her your phone number in case she would prefer to phone you?

Having said all that I do think she should have replied to you out of common courtesy. But you might have to "suck up to her" to get the info you need ...

PS. Just had another thought, if you think there might be some kind of family feud involved here, you may want to say that you have no particular loyalties to any family members, don't want to take sides,  and you are of the opinion that what is in the past stays in the past. Just give the impression that you couldn't care less about pointing the finger at anyone, but you are just very curious.

[keenbutconfused]

I occasionally receive contact messages from either ancestry or genes.  I do try to reply straightaway but sometimes, if I get in from work and have brought stuff home with me to work on, or dog needs walking, contracts to do for the band I work for or tea needs making, I will put the email to one side to reply to proprly, later.  Unfortunately, I will admit, sometimes that takes longer than I would ideally like it to.  I keep the emails as 'new' and even forward them to myself, to keep them in the mailbox - i get round to them all eventually but, the more involved the enquiry, the longer it takes me to reply. 

I think that is probably often the case - people begin researching, their trees go up on the web (via genes or whatever) but circs change - priorities change - I don't think people are being rude deliberately.  It can be frustrating but i try not to take it personally when it happens to me, because I know i am not entirely innocent myself

[fek33]

I must admit I try to respond as soon as possible, but like you say sometimes life gets in the way!

What infuriates me is when someone has asked me about a person in my tree, I have given them what information they want, then they don't answer my questions.

I had one person, who I sent quite a bit of information, newspaper articles and photographs, and she hasn't been in touch since.  Even though I have contacted her a few times.  When I looked at her tree, she had filled it in with all my info!!! (I must admit I don't let anyone see my tree for this reason - sad you have to be like that though isn't it???).

 

[jim1]

Just perusing your notes ( hope you don't mind ).If rellie has tried to make contact it's for 2 reasons 1) she wants to keep in touch.2)she wants to know what you know.I agree with fek33 I'm a bit cynical now on why someone wants to make contact but a couple of days ago I received some photos of 2xgreatgranparents this way so it's not all give,but most of the time it is.

Jim

[sharonf73]

Well, if she wants to keep in touch why doesn't she?  She stopped contacting me over a year ago, contacted me again through GR (although I don't think she realised it was me) and didn't respond to my reply through GR.

I just don't understand it all.  I'll think over the weekend then maybe send her an email in a few weeks time (give her more a chance to respond) and ask if there is a reason she won't respond to me.  I'll do it nicely, I'm not the kind of person to take things out on others, even if they are the person causing it.  I've been brought up better than that!!   I just don't like confrontations - face to face or email.  I'm in Scotland, she's in Canada so very unlikely we will ever meet anyway.

I've had another couple of contacts recently through GR - not immediate family, several relations between us - but they have been so nice and we've exchanged info.

[Cal241]

With out GR I would not have Mat as my avatar!
It does work ..in time! Someone I contacted had my g grandfather, mother and Mat in his family photos............ but never knew he/she was?

But 2 days ago I contacted someone on there who I know is of the same tree came back saying 'not my relative' bland reply................... I know they are related......... their loss 
Cal 

[sharonf73]

I know there is a lot of threads on GR and I'm sure this has been said before ... but why do they register, take the time to put details on, then never reply when someone contacts them?

I'm too nosey (or should that be interested!), and I want to know what my family from the past did, who they were, etc

Sharon