Contacts going quiet

[sharonf73]

Hi

I wondered if anyone can give me a bit of advice?

Just over a year ago I searched in google a name of someone that married into my family.  A hit came back which was a noticeboard.  I contacted the person who put in the request and she did get back to me and seemed excited that I had contacted her.  We did have a match and she sent me info and I returned some info.  Then I heard nothing.  I sent a courtesy email asking if she had received the information, but I never got a reply.

Then about three weeks ago I received a contact through Genes Reunited.  As soon as I saw who sent it I knew it was the same person (asking about the same relative I originally contacted her with).  Looking at her message to me I realised she hadn't made the connection that it was myself.  Although still feeling a bit miffed that she went quiet on me I decided to reply back, a nice one!, and started off saying it was good to hear from her again, but I had not found out any more on that line since our last correspondence and wished her well.  I also told her I'm still at the same email address (gave the add) and asked her to contact me again. 

Again, I've heard nothing.  Now my mind is going wild with why's!!  My relative (my dad's aunt) who married into her family is a bit of a mystery and now I'm thinking is there more to it that I or my living family know?  But if this is the case why blank me?  Maybe my message was the kind you don't need to reply to but if it was the other way round I know I would have, especially if it was someone I had previously been in touch with - I know we are all different though!

I am unsure whether to write to her again and basically ask why has she for the second time blanked me.  After all will I have anything else to lose?  I don't think I'm that bothered whether we keep in touch, I just don't like people doing this to me without any explanation, but it would also be nice to know about my great aunt who is a mystery.

Has anyone else come across this situation before and what did you do?

Sharon (sorry didn't mean this entry to be so long!!)

[al b]

Hello  I know the feeling have had three diferent contacts do the same to me. Is not very nice! al b

[Cal241]

Just to say this happens a lot ... well it has with me !
Some folk are just not as interested or as hooked ... so frustrating as we know there is a wealth of information to be had from different parts of the family

Cal 

[sharonf73]

Thanks for your replies.  It just surprised me as she seemed so excited with the initial contact and now to do this to me twice ....

Now decided she's not worth having in my familiy!!   And I'll keep looking, there is plenty of us out there, I just need to find them!

Sharon

[Ian]

Sharon

Don't take it personally....it happens all the time. I've been in touch with various cousins and sent them everyhing I know. When I've asked questions about their side of the family, all has gone quiet!
There are others with whom I share everything and they do in return so I suppose there is a kind of balance. Frustrating though isn't it?

[wheeldon]

I very rarely come accross any contacts and when I do, I'm just sooo excited that I think I come on too strong.  I do think that people are ever so excited by the first contact and then it becomes the 'norm.'

I do think your contact is being very rude in not responding, so would you want to keep in contact with this person?

I would have already offered to travel 200 miles and take you out for lunch, but as I wrote.... I get a bit carried away 

When you have found the absolute golden nugget of your family tree, take great delight in not informing your very rude contact 

Or count your blessings that you don't have a stalker like me 

[sharonf73]

Wheeldon - any chance of us finding a connection if you are willing to travel 200 miles to go out for lunch!

I always (I hope) respond to all queries I receive even if there is no connection.  It is nice when I've contacted someone for them to reply and say no there is no connection but wish me well in my research.  I do the same if it is the other way round.  It's only manners after all!

If the reason that she's blanking me is because of some family feud that she knows about (the reason as I've mentioned we don't know much about my dad's aunt - he didn't even know he had this aunt!) then that is no reason to treat me this way and as I've said previously and as Wheeldon has said - they are not worth it.

I just feel so much better that others go through the same thing as I had started to take it personally - it's just a pity that we do, but I suppose that is families for you!

Sharon

[al b]

Hi  I have only one that writes back often Found them on here  As I can figure must be a distant cousin. We share the same great grandmother. Seems like a very nice person  al b

[Cal241]

If the reason that she's blanking me is because of some family feud

Family feuds are the best ever!! 

I have that in my family as some relative got the Victorian antiques...... & my mum refuses to let me contact the family that got them ........Doh!!!! (I wonder if there will be fights over my possessions when I pop off I hope not!)

Cal