Which of your ancestors have disappeared?

[patrish]

I have a great uncle who has disappeared of the face of the earth
he appears "married"on the 1881 census but no marriage found, she appears as married on the 1891 and 1901 but not a sign of him anywhere and no death found, several people on here have tried to find him for me but nothing. Where the heck to they go to.

[hiraeth]

There were several major goldrushes in the 1800s.  Australia, California, Klondike etc.  Reading about them illustrates that up to 100,000 men showed up from all over the world to try to strike it rich.   Sadly many of them died or just gave up and never returned to their homelands.  Is it possible that at least some of our missing ancestors could have succumbed to gold fever ??

[loo]

Absolutely!
They had to be somebody's rellies!

My own great annoyance is gggrdfather John WEST, stone mason, artificial stone worker, etc.  I have him born in Maidstone in 1840 with his family of origin.  He appears on all censuses through 1861, married Feb 1864, and has a son Feb. 1865.  After that, he is never heard from again.  I have trawled all people by this name for decades afterwards, ordered a few certs, checked Australia, but none fits.  Wife and child continue with their lives in the same place, and are present and accounted for until death.  She never had any more children, and calls her self married hoh for a while, then, finally, widow.  My mother recalls a photo of him sitting on the mantelpiece of his son's home;  the photo no longer exists.  In it, he appeared to her to be a man of about 40 years, but mum was a child or adolescent at the time.  Son's marriage, 1889, does not specify if he was living or dead.
In the process of writing this, I have realized that I never sent for the son's birth cert, as I have all the info from elsewhere, but I'm going to do that now, so that I can see who registered the birth, or whether there are any other clues.  So, thanks for this thread - it made me think through my problem!

[katherinem]

That's great Katherine! I've often wondered if my good luck ever arrived at your place!! I'm so pleased. Could you send some back, please, for my Edward and Eleanor?? I desperately need it!!

MarieC

The good luck is on its way, hopefully it is going to call on everybody else on the way

Regards, Kath

You have started a great thread here, it would be great, if we could find some of these elusive people

[ozlady]

Anyone seen James Price? He's listed as deceased on his son's marr. cert.. but I can't find him anywhere.

[KathMc]

Ozlady,

He's with my William at the corner pub.

Kath

[MarieC]

There must be quite a crowd down at that corner pub!!!!!    Just wait till I get my hands on that Edward!!! 

Seriously, Hiraeth, you have made a good suggestion.  Gold rushes could account for some of our missing men!    I've long ago looked for a death in Australia for Edward Martin, without luck. 

My question now is - is there anybody on this thread with access to US death indexes (Ancestry??  I don't know) who would be willing to look for a few people?  I'd be very grateful if someone would look for Edward Martin!!

MarieC

[patrish]

Well my George Ayrton must be wth them too, he's also down as deceased on daughters marriage but I cant find a death, NOPE

[hiraeth]

I think we have to remember the context of the times.   
1) Religion and moral opinion was used to control the populace.  It was extremely important to maintain appearances of propriety.   
2) If your father had disappeared into the night one day and never came back it wouldn't be something you wanted to discuss with your future spouse and in-laws at your marriage.   Much tidier to say they were dead 
3) or to tell the census taker you were a widow, instead of "I don't know where the blankety blank that man got to and I don't care"
4) A married woman had more status in the eyes of the neighbours than a widow or abandoned wife.  It also kept other men away.  Even today a widow is more attractive to most men than a divorcee   Something about their desire to prove themselves - whatever
5)  Maintaining the status of marriage was also convenient, in case the spouse ended up with unfortunate results from her own dalliances (if any)
6)  There were huge problems with alcohol.  Many people, particularly men were semi-drunk 24/7.  So if the odd one fell off the back of the horse on the way home from the pub, they didn't always get found.  No tidy little panda cars showing up to search the bushes....
7)  I wonder if anyone has done searches for how many death by misadventure verdicts were handed out at inquests when bodies were found.   There must have been a fair few of them that were unidentifiable.  No picture ID etc.

We have all had the benefit of literacy and relatively healthy living conditions.  Most of us would be horrified to see how our ancestors really lived - not just the state of the buildings but the overcrowding, the odiferous drains, the never ending damp inside and outside, the fetid air from coal fires, the constant pregnancies etc. etc.   Most of these people were malnourished and had resulting lower IQs and or foetal alcohol syndrome.  If that was your lot in life you must have had very little energy or imagination to spare for luxuries like wondering where your abusive old man got to on a dark and stormy.   And if you didn't want him back then you wouldn't even look would you??

I guess my point is the movies and period dramas we have all seen are sanitized versions of the real tough conditions the vast majority of our ancestors lived through.  For one thing the stories are always weighted towards a quick beginning in rags before the rest of the Cinderally story in riches, EG Jane Eyre, Dickens etc..,

Sorry to run on and hope I haven't depressed you!!!