Family rumours have they turned out to be true?

[Kezlyn]

Great grandfather told the story of an ancestor from France, who after his wife died, came to Australia with two children, dumped them, and went on to New Zealand. The wife was a "dancer" and my mother grew up convinced she had prima ballerina in her genes.

Truth: They were Belgian (French-speaking) and both husband and wife came to Australia with two children. The wife died in Melbourne a year after giving birth to the third child. The father put one child in an orphanage, one with a Minister's family and the baby disappeared, but apparently he hung around long enough to raise some money for their educations. The "dancer" died of haemmorhage in an alleyway in Melbourne notorious for its ladies of the night. The husband had been disowned by his own family in Belgium for marrying "beneath himself" and that is why they came to Australia. Just as "exotic dancer" is today a euphemism for stripper, I think our prima ballerina may have been something a little more salubrious!! My mother is most disappointed. I'm thrilled.

Most of the problems with family stories passed down is that each generation likes to add a bit of their own spice, as well as cleaning it up a bit, and of course there are also misunderstandings as well. I think my ggrandfather did well, considering he was close to 90 when he told Mum the tale, and he was actually talking about the ancestors of his first wife, who had been dead for more than 20 years!

Every time I speak to other researchers on my husband's side, they have found some amazing link to royalty/nobility/criminal masterminds, etc, usually due to surname only i.e. if there was a Nelson in the family, well all of a sudden gggggguncle Horatio pops up. It's all crap, of course, but anything to relieve the tedium of 8 generations of Ag Labs!

Did have a very sad rumour confirmed by a very sprightly great aunt a couple of years ago, though. One sister had an affair with another sister's husband, and the resulting child was born with Down Syndrome. The whole family split as a result. The child was raised by the father and his wife, but eventually institutionalised, and we found out of his existence just two short years after he died - if we'd known he'd existed ....

[MrsLizzy]

We have something similar:  my mother's father left when she was 6 weeks old and she never saw him again.  Mum had a very unhappy, abusive childhood, and she was always told her father had been killed in 1953 in the Korean war.  All photos of him were destroyed and her mother wouldn't answer any questions about him, apparently hating the very mention of his name.  Years later we found out he'd actually died in Nottingham in 1985.  If only we'd known, maybe my mum could have met her father.  As far as we know, he never remarried or had any other children.  My mum has always felt "rootless" and that she didn't belong to anyone.  I was told her parents split because of an argument over whether she ought to be baptised and brought up Catholic (her dad) or not (her mum).   

[Sooziecats]

My Mum is still convinced that her Father's, Mother's family owned some land in a nearby village - I have done very little research into this side of the family and have no idea how I would find out if this is true or not!

Sue B

[MrsLizzy]

If you're talking about a village the UK, then I believe you can do an address search in the 1901 census; alternatively, I would think the Land Registry would have the answer but it might be expensive as I think you'd really need to have at least a rough idea of what/where the land was.  If you think you know roughly where it was, it does only cost a few pounds to do a Land Registry search and you can even do it online.

[adicol]

I have just caused a big scandal in the family, and I wish I had kept my mouth shut!
My grandmother had a child in 1960, and she died, my Grandmother told us she died of cot death, but I have just discovered through a family member this was not the case, my Grandmother had fallen asleep with the baby on the sofa, rolled on her in her sleep and smothered her.
I told my Mother, and she went mad, saying it was a lie, but this family member was there the night it happened.
Anyway I sent off for the death cert, and it was true.
My mother and her siblings were gobsmacked, cos they had always been told by their mother she died of cot death, and it has opened up alot of old wounds.
Big mistake saying anything.

Colleen

[MrsLizzy]

That's sad, Colleen, but it's happened, and I think the important thing to remember is that grandmother didn't mean to do it.  It wasn't her fault, any more than it would have been if the baby really had died of cot death.  My aunt lost a much loved baby to cot death in the early 90s and she blamed herself, thinking she hadn't taken enough care of her baby.   I also read about a man who fell asleep in a chair with his baby daughter on his chest.  When he woke up, his baby had died of cold - she had nothing covering her little head and apparently 70% of our body heat is lost through the top of the head.  That poor man probably blamed himself for the rest of his life.  Your poor grandmother probably did as well, and she obviously didn't feel she could really unburden herself.  I hope both she and her baby are now at peace.

[Sooziecats]

If you're talking about a village the UK, then I believe you can do an address search in the 1901 census; alternatively, I would think the Land Registry would have the answer but it might be expensive as I think you'd really need to have at least a rough idea of what/where the land was.  If you think you know roughly where it was, it does only cost a few pounds to do a Land Registry search and you can even do it online.

Thanks I will have a chat with my Mum and see what she knows.

Sue B

[CarolBurns]

I also thought we were descended from Robert Burns. No luck yet!!!

We've had that one as well Linmey though no chance once we found out that our Burns came to Scotland from Ireland in the 1850's. Also had william wallace pop up as well but about 400 years too late



The best story we had was from my Dad's mum.  She always said that her Grandmother Elizabeth Price came from a wealthy family who worked for Walkers Whiskey and were involved with Walkers Gallery in Liverpool as well. They were supposed to be very famous in Liverpool and had disowned Elizabeth for marrying below her status.

Once I started researching I contacted the walker gallery as well as walkers Whiskey but had no luck. For someone who was well known and well off he couldn't be found at all. Eventually after a lot of searching, emails, letters and visits to various places we found the family.

The Walker name was true but upgraded a bit through the family

True Story:  Elizabeth Price's family came from west derby where he was a Clerk for a brewery. By 1891 he was a general manager for them. In 1881 they did live in a big house in Litherland Park (Rose Villa) but in 1891 he was in Wavertree and eventually died in Toxteth Park in 1904.

 Elizabeth wasn't disowned because she had married below her status - she was pregnant before she married but had the child (my Great Grandmother) after she married.

As for the Walker link - well the brewery he worked for was Cain's Brewery who were taken over by Walkers of Warrington in the 1890's so that is where she got the Walker link

So I always check and double check all family stories now. Never got to tell my Gran the true story before she died but I'm sure she has already found out anyway

Carol

[Kezlyn]

Mrs Lizzy - my dad's dad left my grandmother when she was 6 months pregnant. It caused her to have a nervous breakdown and she never spoke about it.

My Dad grew up feeling totally abandoned and not knowing where he fit in in life. He always knew there was a "dirty little secret" attached to him but no-one really sat him down and explained it to him. He always felt there was a man out there who simply didn't care.

When he met my mother, my grandparents (my grandmother and the man she married when Dad was four) told her immediately of the story and also that Dad's biological father died in 1953, when Dad was three. They had never bothered to tell Dad. He grew up, as I said, thinking the man was somewhere out there not bothering with him, when actually he died at 27 of a heart defect. It would have made a huge difference to my Dad to know that the reason he was never contacted by his biological father was because he had died, and that he actually did visit Dad as a toddler before he died, but was sent away by my great grandparents (another thing they told my Mum, but never bothered to tell Dad). He ended up having a nervous breakdown of his own over it.

These stories are real sad. There's a lot to be said for honesty and openness. I do not think any less of my grandmother because her larrikin husband, who knew he was dying, abandoned her. It wasn't her fault, but the "morals" of the day caused it to be a shameful scandal.

And there's no use trying to hide anything anymore, because us genealogists always manage to root out the truth anyway!