Stunned ! sister out of the blue

[KathMc]

I too agree with everyone. Take it slow, as if you have just found a 4th cousin. Maybe you will never be comfortable meeting them, but just be comfortable with your choices. Better to err on the side of caution. I wouldn't hold resentment toward one if they had a better life, though. That is not the fault of the sibling. I have a half sibling who certainly got more of my father, emotionally and financially, then I did, and I never harbored any resentment toward him for it. It was my father's fault and not his. Families can be tricky.

Kath

[Nadine Moore]

Pennine

I agree with all that has been said, treat them as you would any other person who "appears" to have a link to you (or your tree) at first. Once you are able to establish if & how they fit into your tree, then you can decide if you want them in your family. The two can be very different things.

best wishes

dinie

[pennine]

Hi Pennine,

Have been reading this thread with interest.

Whatever happened regarding your "sister out of the blue"?  Did you eventually make contact and/or meet up?

You mention 2 more sisters and 2 more brothers.  You also mention a step-sister in Australia who knows nothing about the others.  How did these "new" siblings find you?

Well there by hangs a tale. The first one obviously would have got my address from either her half siblings or when going through her mother's things.
The one in Australia posted a message on a board I am a member of. I only look at it from time to time and I knew immediately that the message was for me unusual names etc. So I got curious, and responded with a bland email saying I may the whereabouts of the person being searched for. Anyway after a few pm's with an obscure email address I realised she was genuine.
However, the other contacts came in a variety of ways. One a letter to an elderly aunt and the other a letter written to my last known address. Just as luck would have it the person who lives there now, knows me and forwarded the letter on to me with out replying. Don't get me wrong I do believe that these people are indeed related to me, no question as I have checked things out. My worry is eperiencing all the upheaval that I had before which to be honest was so disappointing and stressful and I was so hurt by it all. It took me months to get over it all.
Pennine

[pennine]

Sorry that quote went a bit awry!^(*)
Anyway I think you have all given me some really good advice and I want to thank you all for taking the time to reply.
Thank goodness the world is full of really nice people too.
The one in Australia is coming to England in a few weeks and we have made tentative arrangements to meet for a coffee. My daughter will come with me initially. She doesn't have my address or phone number only the email address and final arrangements will be made by email. She is visiting her son who has a computer so it will be no hardship to contact me.
Keeping my fingers crossed so will keep you informed.
Thanks once again.

Pennine



^(*)Moderator Comment: mended 

[loo]

I think you're doing the right thing, and I'm sure your daughter will have her antennae tuned as well, which will be a support for you, assuming she's old enough!  I do hope you enjoy your visit!

[judi2632]

I so hope your meeting goes well & you find a true friend & relative, who like you , only want answers to questions & nothing material.

My thoughts are with you, take care & strength from all the advice given,& remember your family are not always related as has been shown on  this site,


Judi 

Good luck

[Lydart]

At the moment she's just a 'pen-friend' ... but she may well turn out to be so much more ... but I think you are doing the right thing - taking it slowly, step by step.  Remember the saying about fools rush in ...

[devongirl]

I cant think of any better advice to add than that you have already received. You are wise to be cautious , I hope it all turns out well for you.

I am sure we will all be thinking of you.   

devongirl

[KathMc]

Good luck with your meeting and keep us posted. We would all go with you if we could, but we'll be there in spirit to offer support. 

Kath