I really could use a fresh pair of eyes if anyone has access to census returns please?
I am trying to research my 
CONNELLEY branch but just to make life difficult spelling is inconsistant and I've found it written as CONNOLLY, CONNELLY and even CONOLY at various times!  

And as if that wasn't bad enough, I also have four direct generations of John's to deal with!
Starting at the top I have 
John CONNELLY b. circa 1834 in Ireland who I think I've found on the 
1841 census as a 7 yr old living with other siblings and parents John and Catherine in Leeds. He married 
Ann O'NEIL (also from Ireland) sometime around 1853-4 but I can't trace a marriage for them anywhere. Their first son John was born 29 Aug 1855.
John (b.1834) was a Royal Artillery Gunner and their first two sons, John and James were born in Woolwich, Kent where he was based. I've found John in 
1861 on a special return for army personnel in Dover, Kent but no trace of Ann or the boys.
I was recently given information, from a relative who tried to search for them many years ago, that John served in 
Gibraltar 1866-71 and was found on the pay roll of the 10th Battalion in records at Kew, but unfortunately I don't have a copy of that. Two further children Arthur and Elizabeth were born in Gibraltar during this time, but again I can't find any trace of them anywhere. 
The same relative also told me she'd found wife 
Ann CONNOLLY in 
1881 living in Union Street (I presume in Cleckheaton but could possibly be Heckmondwike or Liversedge too) with children James, Arthur and Elizabeth - again I've failed to find them also.
I've found son 
John CONNELLY b. 1855 and wife Catherine (HEALEY) together with their son John b. 1879 in Cleckheaton in 
1881, and I've also found brother James and his family in Cleckheaton 
1891 and 
1901. 
Another marriage record which eludes me is 
John CONNELLEY b.1879 and Mary WALKER, although I've found them together with 10mo son Fred living with Mary's parents in 
1901, again in Cleckheaton.
Apologies for such a lengthy post but I've spent all weekend trawling Ancestry, FreemBMD and IGI trying to find all the relevant records/details but I think I'm just going around in circles now and have finally admitted defeat  

Just to recap - what I would really like to find out is ...
1) where Ann and children John and James were during 
1861; 
2) to find the 
1881 census I was told had Ann and children James, Arthur and Elizabeth living in or near Cleckheaton (I'm assuming John senior had died by then); 
3)to know whether John and Ann actually married over here or in Ireland (if that is my John in 1841 then presumably they married over here) 
and finally ...
4) to try and locate both John and Ann with their respective families in 
1851 (they'd have been approx 16/17 yo by then) assuming they were in the UK at that time of course.
If anyone can help in any way that would be fantastic and might just about save what little sanity I have left!  

Paula