Isn't it frustrating ...

[Nick Carver]

... when you get a message out of the blue through Genes Reunited from somebody who clearly is linked to somebody in your tree, you give them access to your tree and send a reply suggesting you communicate by e-mail to share goodies ... and then you never hear from them again! How annoying is that? It's now happened to me at least four times this year, At least I know there are people out there researching branches of my family, but I don't know anything about the modern branches of these families.

Perhaps the good news is that I need not worry about following up these lines because SURELY they will make contact again? If only.

Seething quietly but coming off the boil.

[Bill749]

I got the distinct impression that a substantial core of people on GR are not there to SHARE information, only to HARVEST it from other researchers - I suspect some of them have never done any research of their own and are trying to do their family history the quick and cheap way - by stealing other people's research!

Regards, Bill

[Biker]

Hi Nick

Sorry to hear of your frustration and woes 

Still, if it's any consolation ..... you've still got us 

Biker

[Roobarb]

Call me mean if you like but I never give anyone access to my tree unless we've had several communications, and even then it's a case of you show me yours first! But then I have a naturally suspicious nature! 

[smeghead]

If some one contacts you get them to alow access to there tree first before you alow access to yours.

Jim

[SallyF]

Sorry to hear that, Nick.  (Quickly scanning your list of names to make sure none of mine match.......phew! No, not to blame!!  )

It is annoying, though, just when you get all excited about finding a contact, then, nothing.....  Must admit, most of my contacts through Genes have been very distant, second marriages or in-laws etc, so don't matter so much.  And often, when I'm given access to others' trees, I've usually got to a similar point or further back.

I always make a point of replying to contacts, even if it's just a "Sorry, not got much about this line as it's not one of my direct ones," and passing on what little I might have, or other links, or whatever. 

I've only once not replied to a Genes contact.  I was once contacted by a lady and shared everything I had.  A couple of weeks later a man contacted me with loads of my rellies.  When I checked it was just a straight rip off of the previous lady's tree, right down to incorrect spellings and minor inconsistencies.   Avoided him like the plague and never heard another thing.

Hope you've had chance to calm down and take it with a pinch of salt, that GREAT contact is just around the corner.

Sally

[jericho]

Hi Nick

I can well and truly identify with you  this same thing has happened to me countless time I have now only put my direct lines on GR, and rarely give out any information unless they are willing to share there's with me. To be honest I've have more correspondence with people who are not related to me on GR and found them more helpful than the ones who are related. More than any thing it is frustrating when you know people are related, you've shared emails and you give them what you've found but in return they give very little and then all communication stops ..... and to make it worse all my direct lines emigrated so those bonds have now almost been lost  for ever. In my case it does seem that many people  on GR only want to bleed you for your information.

jericho

[kerryb]

Sorry to hear that Nick and yes I can identify with you also.  I wait until after a few communications to give access to my tree, check them out first.  But also I don't have my full tree on GR anymore, with the new system it wouldn't work anyway.  So I give my web address out and if it becomes a really good contact I send the appropriate bit of a gedcom.

I have even had emails from people on GR requesting access to my tree without a email sent.  I'm afraid I just ignore these.  If they can't be bothered to talk to me they ain't gonna see my tree!!!

Kerry

[Ruskie]

I don't think it's just GR. I've contacted a couple of people here on Rootschat through the SIT and have had no replies.

I have also been contacted by a couple of people researching the same names as me but in different parts of the country - it only takes a minute to send a polite message telling them no known connection.

Does it just come down to rudeness? Sometimes I wonder if correspondence gets lost out there in cyberspace and messages are never received. Like a letter that gets lost in the post ....