Isn't it frustrating ...

[lesleyhannah]

Hi

I've already voiced my anger at a GR contact who had copied loads of my tree and circulated it - apparently to anyone who asked her.

I learnt the hard way. People who genuinely seemed to be related to me would ask for access to my tree, which I'd happily give. At the time I had my entire (very large) tree online. I assumed they would just check out the part of the tree relevant to their researches. It hadn't occurred to me that some people were copying entire trees. Sometimes I'd give my email address, and send them extra details, such as copies of wills etc. Then I'd ask for access to their trees - only to find about a dozen names, none of which were directly related to me. And then, like Nick, I'd never hear from them again.

I've removed my tree now, and when I get these 'give me access' messages I explain I'll be happy to help with specific enquiries if they let me know their connection to the person. I can always generate a report from my offline software - this is more hassle for me but I'm always happy to share info with genuine researchers.

It's amazing how many of these people never reply again. I've just found part of my tree on an internet site, complete with my living husband's details. I have no idea how it got there (I know it's mine because of a particular name I'd  used).

Too late for me but I hope all these messages on Roots will put others on their guard.

So BE WARNED!!

[Ecneps]

I must be lucky then, the contacts I've had through GR have all been nice ones who've shared their info with me.  But I do get a bit fed up with the so-called 'hot matches' GR send, more often than not they're totally unconnected, surnames & dates may be right, but the birthplaces not.....
Barbara

[Berlin-Bob]

I've contacted a couple of people here on Rootschat through the SIT and have had no replies.

It seems that lots of people join RootsChat, enter their names in the SIT, look around a bit, maybe even make a couple of postings . . .  and then disappear.

This is probably true of other forums as well.  Probably all the hype from WDYTYA and similar programs has encouraged people to "join" all sorts of forums, groups, clubs, societies, etc, but only a few of them then continue, the rest fall by the wayside, or "join" the latest 'in' thing or craze
(knitting chocolate fire guards, maybe  )

... which means that there is information there, in the SIT, on GR, etc, but the posters don't respond to messages.

... or, to give them the benefit of the doubt:
unlike us addicts, some of them only look in sporadically at forums, etc, so they may reply later.
But to people who are looking every day, that is totally frustrating !!

And that the world is divided into Givers and Takers .. well, we all know that. 

Every group has it's share of GIVERS, TAKERS, and SHARERS, and fortunately, there seem to more SHARERS on RootsChat than on many other forums 

Bob

[kerryb]

LOL Barbara

I don't know how many times I have now had to email back and say no my John Payne born 1844 was not born in Huntingdon, he was born in Lingfield!  Why are they are searching for that one and not mine!!!!!

I've had some very good contacts through GR too, distant cousins who have turned out to be useful and I keep in contact with some of them.

Kerry

[Frances]

I have found some good contacts from GR, having said that I have had several that were all take with nothing coming back

In one instance a contact bombarded me with emails and questions, again and again but gave me nothing only the person who was on my husbands tree.  As I had helped her so much and knowing that she and her father visited the Essex Registry Office once a week to check what I had given her. I asked her to confirm a birth for me which she was not conected to. Guess what, surpise, surprise, I never heard from her again........but my research has been passed to others and is on her tree!!

We all live and learn!!!

Frances

[Ecneps]

I can understand the frustration of having all your hard work & research passed on...
but then those 'takers' don't get all the satisfaction and excitement (not too strong a word I don't think) from poring over microfilms etc or straining your eyes on the internet and then hooray!!  finding that particular someone you've been searching for for ages, we 'givers' definitely get all that and more from doing our own research
.. (sorry - just realised that sounds a bit smug) 

[Frances]

I have to agree Ecneps, there is nothing like searching things for yourself. The thrill when you find the person, document or information you need is just wonderful. I cannot now do as much as I would like to, but oh, how I miss it.

I think those of us here in the UK are lucky though and we may take granted our ability to look for ourselves........if we want to and can afford to travel if required.

Quantity of names  does not always equal quality.

Frances

[kerryb]

I think those of us here in the UK are lucky though and we may take granted our ability to look for ourselves........if we want to and can afford to travel if required.

Quantity of names  does not always equal quality.

Frances

I totally agree Frances, sometimes we do take that ability for granted and I have no problem with a distant relative wherever they may be asking for help because they cannot just nip to the county records office but when I just get an email requesting to see my tree, I see red!!!!!

Kerry

[Cas (stallc)]

There are some excellent points already made that I agree with entirely.  

I do think that some are very selfish takers, like Nick stated, who ask for information and give nothing in return, not even common curtesy.    

Personally, I have had some good contacts from GR, not so much with gaining loads of info I did not already have, but photographs of ancestors, that I could never have found.  

If I know the connection is valid, I allow access and help all I can, but there are no living relatives on the GR tree.  If communication goes beyond that, then email and additional info is given, only when I feel they can be trusted and it is genuine interest.

I believe true family historians are sharers and carers, there would not be so many look ups and offers of help or connections made otherwise. Others are just information gatherers, who are not bothered about sharing as they did not have the satisfaction of finding any.

Do not lose heart Nick I guess it is par for the course in this hobby, there will always be givers, takers, but many of us are sharers like yourself, and I know which I would rather be.

Cas