it is MY family tree!!!!!

[Cal241]

HI

I have not read all of this thread but I hope I have got the gist of it (if not I am sure you will tell me  )

I have spent hours NAY!! years researching and have hooked up with PrueM in the process and others through GR and Ancestry who have been genuine and have reciprocated.

I know others have used my work in their tree and yes no word of thanks but I figure they are the losers here, the joy of finding links/ancestors/information is half of the 'obsession' with me. To be handed it and call it your own is so sad.

As I tell my daughter 'if you are on the rock of truth you will be fine'. 

Be proud of what you have achieved and if others are willing to give you their tree on a plate be very grateful and others that take the plate and are not thankfuland abuse it then take pity on their sheer lack of respect of what most of us feel

Oh My rant over

Cal

[Simon G.]

I get very possesive of my tree, which is probably related to me being the literal end of the line (of all the decendants of my 2xgreat-grandparents, my father and I are the only ones living to have the surname.  Lucky we've not got a rare surname, I always say.)

[ymfoster]

We should form our own Dead Rellies Club   

I think Dead Rellies Society sounds posher!  lol

Hey, there! When someone gets the Dead Rellies Club/Society started, sign me up! By the way, has anyone else ever experienced this: not only do I feel possessive about my dead rellies, but when I connect with other descendants of theirs (i.e. distant cousins) that I have found trawling the internet for genealogical info, I get possessive of them too! 

Speaking of this subject, there's a 'Dead Persons Society' here in Melbourne, Victoria (& other Aust. State Capitals) at:  http://home.vicnet.net.au/~dpsoc/
the dancing skeletons used to have a tune to them too 

Yvonne

[Josephine]

I started researching my father's family in January 2002.  By the end of 2002, I had printed out and made copies of my info for a few cousins.  At the end of 2002, I had a very nasty falling-out with one of those cousins (she's scary).

There is a guy in Canada (let's call him BillyBob) whose goal it is to put online everyone who ever lived in one particular area (where my father's ancestors were from).  He gets info from the censuses and other microfilmed vital statistics and includes that on his website (on Rootsweb).  People send him info, too.

About a month or so ago, a cousin pointed me to an entry on BillyBob's website that contained some of her aunts and uncles.  I went to the website and started clicking around.  I soon became alarmed because the info he had on my family lines was from my research.  I know this because I am the only person in these family lines to have done all this research and I am the only one to have the original certificates, cemetery info, etc.

I emailed BillyBob and asked him if I had sent him the info, since I couldn't remember having done so.  BillyBob said no, (let's call him Sammy), had given him a gedcom.

So I got in touch with Sammy, who said, here's everything I have on your ancestor and if you have any additions or corrections, please give them to me.

Well, I fell off my chair.  His .rtf file was MY family history document, including all of my notes, word for word!

Unfortunately, Sammy doesn't remember who gave him the file.

Either my evil cousin inputted all my info, notes included, and then gave him a gedcom, or she handed my document over to another cousin, who did it.  My name is not on the data.  Credit was not given to me.  Now, if other descendants see my ancestors (down to, and including, my father) on BillyBob's website, they will not know to contact me.

Sammy visited my city soon after this situation came to light.  He kindly met with me at the local library and I lugged most of my certificates, original letters, and family history documents with me to show him.  He came away from our meeting with the knowledge that I was indeed the original researcher and author of the data that he possesses.  He also deleted the information that I identified as sensitive and confidential.

However, my entire family file (on my father's side) is intact (without notes or living people) on BillyBob's website and he sure as heck isn't taking it off.

This was incredibly upsetting to me because it represented a betrayal by an already nasty cousin.  BillyBob and Sammy had no way of knowing that the wonderful gift that was given to them was actually as good as stolen.

My original data was just in Word documents because we couldn't afford to buy genealogy software (I have a Mac).  We bought some last fall and all new research has gone directly into it.  I have since put two different family lines on Rootsweb because I am now afraid that, if I share it with any cousins, they will put it online as their own work.

Since I have chosen to put that research online, I accept that others might just copy and paste without bothering to contact me or share any of their information.  My hope is that some will get in touch.

For me, it boils down to a matter of choice.  It was my hard work (this was not an easy family to research), and my money, and it wasn't my choice to have all of my father's ancestors online yet. 

I have had other experiences of sharing data and having someone post it online without even saying thank you to me.  That turned me off because it is bad manners.

I think I've learned that just one photocopy or gedcom of a family file is all it takes for someone to pass it on.  Once I've handed it out, it becomes someone else's property.  I don't like it but...  I like to share what I've found; it makes it more fun for me.  And I'm always hopeful that a cousin will find me and will also like to share (this has happened more than once).

But my recent experience stressed me out beyond belief and I lost quite a bit of sleep over it for a few weeks.

Regards,
Josephine

[kez_s]

Hiya - just thought I would add my ten pence worth!!!!! 

Your thread has made interesting reading and a couple of thing struck home with me!

I too am very possessive over my tree and whilst some of my family are not interested in the slightest - very much me, me, me people, others pick up a pen and paper the minute they hear my voice!!! I too have met distant relatives whom I've shared everything I have and all the info from certs, etc that I have paid for and memberships to website which I pay for each month! And in return they can't even be bothered to get info which is easily available to them but would make a big difference to me - so now I share NOTHING with them and I've made some brilliant discoveries and traced lines back that I thought I had no hope in doing!

I would also like to mention that whilst for some GenesReunited has not been great - for me it was what started this incredible journey I am now on!!! My son was born last year and I saw a link to it via friendsreunited and joined, but with a young baby I didn't get chance to do much until early this year as I wanted to build the family tree for him for years to come and future generations. Through genes someone contacted me who had 12/14 generations of my paternal grandfathers family and since then I have had the family tree bug badly!!!!

I've also found my nans cousin's daughter, whom I've become great friends with and my nan and her cousins hopefully will be meeting soon.

I've also been able to solve mysteries like how my great grandmother got her middle name, etc. etc.

And I've discovered Rootschat - where the help and kindness of you all has been fantastic and already given me so much more to my tree - so thank you all!!!!!!

I also like to add in response to Jayson

I'd like to know how many other rootschatters there are of my age - I'm 34 - or younger that have an interest in their ancestry?

I am only 30!!!!

[Springbok]

I have had had all my contacts via GR. All solid and sound. No one gets access to my Tree unless I am satisfied that we do have a common ancestor.

After that , often a contact will forget to stop my access to their tree.But I have been doing this long enough not to abuse their mistake. I do look and make notes just in case I find  a connection  at a later date.

I am grateful for all the people who have done all the research and we still share new information .So I cannot feel possesive about my vast family, good ,bad , mean and generous. To find that some living rellies are not as honourable as we would wish should at least stop us looking  at ancestors with Rose Tinted hindsight.



Spring

[biddybarracks]

To find that some living rellies are not as honourable as we would wish should at least stop us looking at ancestors with Rose Tinted hindsight.

Spring

Well put, Spring!

[Chrispy]

I've just logged onto this part of RootsChat precisely because of all the problems you are talking about and its great to hear from like minded people who are enthused about researching their roots.

I have had a couple of bad experiences where I shared information which is only partially verified but to what I thought was just an amateur 2nd cousin.  She took it and to my horror put it on GR and it looks as though she has shared it too.  She did not even reply to me after I gave all my research.

No-one in my family is interested either.  but being very positive, I am doing this for me and my own satisfaction so why expect others to share it.

I am putting my faith in humanity in the many people on this site and others who are so generous with their thoughts and findings for which I am truly grateful.  When I have asked for help I have had replies and I find that amazing.

Long live RootsChat and its members.

Chris

[kate*k]

Well at least I'm not alone! 

I've had one very bad experience when I was asked for a copy of my gedcom file which I foolishly provided, references and all.  A few days later I found that the whole of my research (several hundred names) had been published as part of this persons tree on Genes Reunited.  I then started getting contacts from my husbands relatives and to my horror I found that not only had she published my family tree but also that of my husband including some of his living relatives.  I was furious, as were the living folks concerned, so I demanded that these were removed, which they eventually were.  This person is related to me some 10 or so generations back but claims also to be related to my husbands family.  Don't you just hate name-collectors! 

I later had a contact from another person who exclaimed "look what I have found" and sent me a file of my original research including the reference numbers to my personal research papers.  Needless to say she had been given the information by the first woman who had passed it off as her own.  I explained to her that this work should be credited to me and to other names who were incorporated in my references and not to the woman who had given her the file.  I received a polite e-mail back to say that she'd be more careful in future.

I've also had a couple of contacts via GR.  One insisted that because we both had a William Ward born in 1883 we were connected.  I replied that I didn't think so because they were born in different places.  He came back to say that there must be a connection because they both had Thomas for a son and demanded a look at my tree.  It took me quite a few e-mails to get him to "go away".

Then recently I've had a GR contact from someone with a possible connection which proved to be nowhere near a match (it came form GR's awful hot-matches).  I explained that there was no match but two days later she emailed asking for my tree as she wanted to add my names to hers anyway!

At that point I decided that Genes Reunited was becoming a site supported by the people who really can't be bothered to do any research for themselves but who want to have the pleasure of seeing their family tree without a care as to whether or not it's correct.  It's a real shame because I've found a few good contacts on that site, but the bad ones far outweigh the good ones.  I've now taken my tree off and will not be renewing my subscription.

I love to share information with those people who are really interested in real genealogy and family history and I have published a website (thanks to the space provided by Rootschat) complete with tree but at least in this form people who want to copy will have to input the data individual by individual so hopefully this will put those lazy name-collectors off. 

I've met some really lovely rellies out there and we all enjoy working on our family tree and information is shared between all of us.  It's a shame that not everone can commit to the idea of our family tree rather that my tree.

I feel better for that rant - thanks.