it is MY family tree!!!!!

[bloo-peepers]

Hi guys, I was just wondering out of curiousity, how territorial my fellow researchers felt about their family tree's??
Let me explain,   something happened today that caught me by suprise, and what suprised me more was my reaction to it!!!!!  I was given a link to a site with my family name, and was thrilled to find many names from my research on it.  The problem came when I found my 6xgrandfather was on the tree, but without his parents and siblings........just floating there!!!!  I then found his parents and siblings, but in his place as number 5 child.......THERE WAS A COMPLETE STANGER!!!!!!  He had my 6xgrandfathers date of birth etc , this meant that I had "lost" 2 generations of my family, even though I had painstakingly traced them through census, parish records etc...........I was absolutely "gobsmacked" at the time and got quite cross with my computer screen!!!

I didn't realise when I started this research that I would feel so "connected" to all the names on my tree, or quite so territorial!!!!!    I have now calmed down, and sent a very polite email to the site host, suggesting the changes to the tree and offering proof in the form of parish records and such, but I must try to remember that it isn't MY tree and I must share it with thousands of others!!!
Di xxx

[Chris in 1066Land]

Hi bloo-peepers

Yes, I can relate to your experience - I would have felt exactly the same way myself; especially when you have carefully researched all the primary and secondary sources in order to 'prove' your claim to ancestory.
Having an unusual surname makes it very easy for me to do the research, and most of the arguments with just 1 fellow researcher are whether there is an 'e' on the end of our name or not.
Carefully checking the birth certificates and who registered the births indicated that grandad always spelt it with the 'e' but grandma nearly always left it off.
I think that if I had been in your shoes, I would have blown up out of all proportion to see a stranger in the tree and a generation missing, and I expect that if the tree was carefully scrutinised you would find lots of other silly mistakes.
Anyway, why shouldn't we get very 'connected' with the people in our tree, they are our ancestors - they did make us what we are today; and aren't we just as protective to our siblings and immeadiate living family.

Chris in 1066Land

[findem]

Hi Bloo-Peepers,
It is a shock for sure, I have had three experiences so far, the last was with one of my Eve ancestors.  There is an Eve site on the net where I found my Weston Eve married to a woman far too old to have a family with and she was on the site also married to another Eve of an appropriate age.  Like you I contacted the site host who said he would contact the person who supplied the info but many months later it was still unaltered.  Doesn't worry me but unless carefully checked it could lead a novice astray.  Perhaps it's a good thing to have questions raised because it keeps us on or toes !!  I made a similar mistake with a John & Elizabeth Hart, would you believe that two John Harts married an Elizabeth within a couple years, I'm lucky though cos I haven't told anyone else I made a mistake. lol

[Jane Masri]

Hi,
I must admit to the same possesive feelings where long gone ancestors are concerned.  I had some baptismal records of some people of the same family name, which have been in my possesion for almost 30 years but could not fit them into my own tree.  When I was finally able to connect them with a family group through an internet correspondent, I felt very 'sad' at letting them go. Obviously, without realising it, I had become quite attached to them.  But they went to a good family  

Jane

[Darcy]

  Hi There,
I had a similar experience when I believed my Great Grandfather to have been one of the Fisher Family of Pontefract. I researched the entire family and got to know them all. I was devastated to discover that I had the wrong family! It was as if I had been told I was adopted at birth and all my relatives were not blood relations.
I have posted the details of the lovely Fisher Family on this site. It is with real sadness that I let them go and I sincerely hope they find their real home.
aaron

[Elizabeth]

I have had many similar experiences to the one's you all described and have decided that it is far better to not claim personal attachment to my forebears but realise that they are the forebears of many hundreds/thousands of others also.

I can't even claim ownership of my parents as I share them with my siblings and as for my children, they are shared with their father!!...

It is so much easier to let go and be willing to share and give I have found.... after all one of the great side advantages of genealogical research is the friends and family you meet along the way.... I have experienced so much gratitude for my willingness to assist others and share my work that this beats claiming ownership hands down....

Kindly,
Elizabeth

[bloo-peepers]

Hi Elizabeth  , I agree with your point about sharing, and have done so many, many times, but the point I was trying to make was the fact that my ancestor was completely missing and someone different was in his place!!!  Suddenly my line stopped dead, and scores of family I had lovingly   researched didn't belong in my tree anymore.  I knew all the little details of their lives, the way that family names were used repeatedly through the generations, I empathised with the loss of their babies, suddenly they were no longer my business!!!

My post was written tongue-in-cheek, and I have every intention of sharing my research whenever I find any new "cousins"  , but I am not ashamed to claim personal attachment to my ancestors, as these are the people who made me and shaped me into the person I am today
Best wishes
Di xx

[Elizabeth]

I understand and appreciate your perspective Di. Thank you for elaborating on it.

Elizabeth

[Pollynation]

I have a distant cousin who is doing her tree, My great grandparents and hers are the same. I have shared loads of info with her which i have found but she refuses to tell me anything she has found

I'm fed up with her now , what would you do in my position?

Pauline