Making new contacts

[Pollynation]

Hi Sallysmum

Im so sorry that things didn't work out for you. I have found some really close relatives on GR. I do e-mail them for a while first. Once i have made sure they are genuine i exchange address's and telephone numbers. I have in fact spent hours on the phone to Australia to my 2nd cousin. And he has phoned me several times too. I have also found my aunt and my dads cousin.

Obviously the person you had contact with was only out for any information that they could get. I'm pleased you have now closed your tree to them and no longer have contact.

Please don't give up on it though. I have been a member of that site since it was opened (just about), but it did take me a while to find connections. Remember not all people are like that. There is some wonderful people out there who are willing to help each other as much as possible.

Good luck with your research
Best wishes
Pauline

[sallysmum]

Thankyou for your good wishes
Wendy

[linmey]

There are some very strange people out there, but my experience of contact with a distant relative has been a very positive one so dont give up. Its worth it if you do meet someone you can work together with.

Linda.

[suttontrust]

An interesting sidelight on this topic.  I've just made contact, through GR, with a very distant relative, and agreed to give him access to my tree on the basis that he would only lift the stuff on his direct line.  I asked him what his sources were for a marriage I didn't have, and he said that all his information came from someone else so he didn't know what the sources were!  There's a real danger here, with so much information being passed around, that sources cease to exist.  I know we all check things religiously  but not everybody does.

[wheeldon]

So sorry Sallysmum - put it down to experience 

I agree Suttontrust.  It's brilliant when we make contacts but the trick is to allways check and re-check other peoples research otherwise you could end up on totaly the wrong track.  Also, log all your sources, I got over excited when I first started to research and although I'm 99% sure of all the names on my tree (there's not that many) I'm having a terrible time re-tracing my steps and logging all my sources 

[sharonf73]

Hi, just been doing a search on if people give out their home addresses to new contacts, and only came across this one!

A cousin of my granny has been in touch, with some great information.  he is from a second marriage and didn't know about his grandfather's first marriage (the line I'm from).  We've been emailing all weekend and he has sent photographs through and a scroll which is fab.  As we know, photographs are great, but it also turns out that our joint connection - his grandfather and my GG Grandfather was in a movie (very small part but he talks!) and he is going to get a copy taken and send it to me.  Of course this means me giving out my address and I'm unsure.   He is genuine (I'm sure!) but I'm unsure if I should give him my home or work address as it is early days still.  As previous comments have mentioned home addresses can be tracked down anyway. 

Am I just being too cautious?  He did send me an email from his work today so I know where he is and he is high up in the company - and yes I did google the company and his name and got matches just to be nosey!

Advise greatly appreciated!
Sharon

[Jean McGurn]

Sharon

It sounds like this new contact could be genuine, however if you are unsure about giving out you address perhaps it could be sent to you c/o your local post office.

That way he could be sure it goes to the right person and you will still keep your address unknown to him.

Jean

[AngelaR]

It's a very personal thing, so I'm not giving advice exactly, but I don't think it would worry me unduly. Anyone who wants to can look up my address in the phone book.

I was wondering what the fears of giving out addresses are? The only ones I can think of are junk mail advertisers (and it's a bit of a tortuous way of getting an address just for that) or stalkers of some sort. I do follow what everyone has said so far about establishing email contact first, but once they've been prepared to send information, particularly photos, I don't think I'd hesitate. If things can't easily be sent by email, it's perfectly reasonable to send them by post.

Just my thoughts..... feel free to ignore

Angela

[halfasheep]

I find GR contacts are very unreliable - not sure why though,  but every person I've connected with via there has been a bit of a let down.

Tracing my Evans family (a joy in South Wales) came up with an unexpected message from a GR contact - turns out that a distant cousin had just started tracing their mother's side.

They asked me if I was related to X, Y and Z (who were not on my tree, but were part of the family), so it did confirm this was the correct person.

Opened both trees up for each other - they had very little info that I didn't (in comparison to all my names and dates!), and then never replied to another message.

I'm unsure whether their subscription had lapsed, or they simply were not interested in exchanging further info once they had what I had posted (which wasn;t half of what I had at home!) - their loss