Making new contacts

[sallysmum]

Joy of joys!  I have just received a new contact thru GenesReunited who wishes to share info!  Rellie wishes to exchange paper data via post.  However I am a little hesitant about giving out my address.  Can anyone give advice as to how to handle this without sounding non communicative but enthusiastic and keeping one's safety paramount. 
Sallysmum

[oldcrone]

hi Sallysmum 

Perhaps you should firstly suggest that you email each other?  If the person is accessing GR, then he/she probably has an email account.

Clara
ps I certainly wouldn't give out this info on a first contact.

[suttontrust]

I agree strongly with Clara.  You and your relative can exchange information via email.  Only when you're completely happy that s/he is genuinely wanting to exchange rather than just grab whatever info you've got should you swap addresses.

[Lemontree]

Hi

If you dont want to give out your address you could use post restante

http://www.postoffice.co.uk/portal/po/content1?mediaId=19100259&catId=19100180

I wouldn't want to give my postal address to a stranger but would be happy to let them send the envelope to my local post office using this system.

I did use this system years ago when travelling and it seemed to work well in most countries, the only country it was a bit hit and miss was Australia - Europe and Asia was fine though.

Hope this helps

lemon

[Nick Carver]

You would be quite at liberty to use e-mail to verify that this person is indeed a relative. If they prove to be related to you, most of your concerns will disappear. There are oh so many contacts given through GR who just happen to be similar but not your relations

[wheeldon]

It's a difficult one Sallysmum.  However, I would imagaine that the person is genuine but I'm not sure why he/she can't exchange info by E-Mail, unless they don't have a scanner, which would make it difficult.

Also, because of the nature of our hobby, it's not so difficult for someone to find out our addresses.  We advertise ourselves on web pages - names, parents names, where we live, where we were born, our ages etc. 

If you are sure it's a genuine relation then why not go for it as there may be a genuine reason for wanting to use your address.

[suttontrust]

There are ways of putting your tree online with no hassle.  I've done that not only with my own tree, but with several others.  When you get a contact you can simply give them the website address.  If they then come back, as they often do, with additions or corrections you can be sure they're genuine.

[sallysmum]

Dear all
Many thanks for your advice.  I have decided to correspond thru email and wait to see how things progress.  I am probably being over cautious but one cannot be too sure.  I think Wheeldon does have a very valid point however - by the very nature of our hobby, it would be very easy to trace an address etc. 
Sallysmum

[sallysmum]

Hi all
Just thought I would update you as to how this has gone - not well I'm afraid to report.  I followed advice and gave him the option of using my personal email which he didn't.  I corrected some of the info he had given me plus told him an amusing family anecdote.  I asked him to share some of his family history. 

I then requested to see his tree as I had opened up mine.  I infact made 3 requests to view his tree which were ignored and finally after the initial enthusiasm of him wanting to share info, I have heard no more of him for nearly 2 weeks now.  I have now closed his access to my tree

I feel rather let down but glad that I didn't give out my address - I wonder what he would have done with this info as he didn't make use of email.
Sallysmum