Where else can I turn?

[Subaru]

Hi

I have been looking for years for some kind of record of my grandfather, my mam's dad.  I have come to the conclusion that there is some kind of family secret, but my mam doesn't know anything about it. 

My mam has always told me that his name was Thomas Forde, that he was born abt 1873 in Roscommon, Ireland.  And that he was in the Coldstream Guards, was in WW1 and the Boer war, received medals, and was injured in the war.

After extensive research over the years, I have found nothing.  The only things I have are his death certificate, filled in by my uncle, and my uncle's birth certificate.  I feel that my uncle may know something, but he wouldn't tell me if he did, as he is nearly 90, and gets very cagey talking about him.

On my uncle's birth certificate, my grandfather and grandmother have put down their marriage date, but when GRO did a search for that date, and a year either side, they found nothing.  My grandmother's name was Ethel Main, born in Norfolk abt 1892.  As there was nearly 20 years between them, I wondered if he had been married before, and never divorced.  So maybe she took his name, without the marriage.  My uncle was born in Glasgow, but their marriage was put down as 31st January 1919, London, England.  This seemed very definite to me, so I thought I had found something, but I have had my money refunded. 

He left Ireland when he was very young, on his own, apparently and came to England to join the army.  I have done lots of research, and there is no sign of the correct Thomas Forde in the Coldstream, Grenadier, Scots or Irish Guards. 

I even thought he may have taken somebody else's name, or made one up.

Does anybody have any suggestions where else I can look?  He was an electric welder on my uncle's birth certificate, and worked at Vickers shipyard for years.

I feel very downhearted, and I'm ready for giving up on this branch.  But this is the one person who I started off looking for, for my mam.  Her mam died when she was 3, and her dad died when she was 15.  She would love to find something out about his family in Ireland, or his record in the army.  That is another thing, my uncle has supposedly lost my grandfather's army medals, which would have his number on.

I realise many people do come to a dead end at some time, but it's so frustrating, I would love to know if there's anything else I can do.

Rosemary

[Gadget]

Hi Rosemary

Don't get down hearted. Keep plugging away.

I have found a couple of T Forde's  in the National Archives WW1 Campaign Medals listing but neither were Coldstream Guards:
One was a T J E Forde, North Irish Horse - L't
and the other was T Forde, Leinster Regiment - Pte
There was also a T Forde, Durham Light Infantry - Sgt

Are any of these possible?

Gadget

[liverpool annie]

Hi Roz !

There is one Thomas Charles Ford

Medal card of Ford, Thomas Charles

Coldstream Guards
19575
Private
Date
1914-1920

http://www.rootschat.com/links/0jg/

Annie 

[Subaru]

I have already tried the Coldstream Guards, many times, without success.  They have been very kind and thoroughly searched their records. 

The othe T Fords, I really don't know.  I would have to see the records of these men, to see their injuries, which could get quite expensive to check every T Forde.  I recently paid a researcher in London, through Great War Forum, who was very kind and helpful, photocopying all the records of a certain T Forde, who I thought was my grandfather.  But this man had no injuries.  My grandfather had a finger and a toe missing on one side of his body, and shrapnel in his head, and was gassed.  It's a pity you can't access injury records online, it would save a lot of money and research.

You can't even see the date of birth on the medal records, so I would have to pay each time I accessed a record. 

Thanks for your help though, I may yet try those others.

Rosemary

[Gadget]

Rosemary

You say your uncle is very cagey about his father. Instead of asking him outright about him, is it worth having a chat with him about how you feel and what you have so far done to find info on your grandfather. Get him to talk about what he remembers about Glasgow in the 1920s, the shipyard etc. Just get him talking about his youth. He might then say something that could give you more clues.

Gadget

[Subaru]

Hi Gadget

Thanks for replying.  My uncle lives 2 hours away, so we don't get together very often.  He knows how far I have gone in my research, I wrote him a long letter years ago, when I first started searching.  He gave me dates, and information that he knew about my grandfather.  He may not know anything at all, it's just a feeling that I have.  Maybe he just feels himself that there is something, and doesn't want me to go any further, which is what my mother is telling me now.

I don't think he was very old when they moved from Glasgow to Newcastle, so he won't remember much.

I might write again, and tell him how frustrated I am with the search.  You never know, it might help him to remember something.

Thanks again

Rosemary

[Gadget]

Well Rosemary, if it's only 2 hours away, I'd be off like a shot. Take him a present. I spend at least an hour a fortnight listening to my elderly (83) cousin on the phone. He lives 9 hrs (speeding driving) away. He loves to talk about his experiences and memories.

I hope you do contact him.

Gadget 

[Jessy]

Hi Roz, Just a suggestion to your plight.  I have had similar problems, I guess a lot of us do.  Have you tried building your family tree on genes in the hope that a distant cousin or relative may contact you.  I have had two successes this way.  One from Australia and one an hour and a half away from where I live.  They have been able to help me with both sides of a very hidden family background including a great grandmother instillied into a workhouse, another who was an  alcoholic and inter married etc.  They came out of the blue and Im sure someone will be able to help.
Good luck  Jessy

[jorose]

I'd check the Glasgow marriage records for a marriage after your uncle's birth; they might have just said 'we married last year in London' to make it look like he wasn't illegitimate.

If you have any photos of him in uniform there are some people over on the Armed Forces boards who are absolute whizzes at identifying these things.

Also given that Ethel would have been in her mid-twenties she may well have been widowed - perhaps in the war - and therefore listed under her married name.  I had this problem: no mention of it on her son's birth certificate, but she was married, widowed (tuberculosis, her husband was only 20), and married again before she hit 21.  Made it very hard to find her second marriage!