contacting living relatives

[Tees]

Hi All,

I have read this thread with much interest, I must say that I have mixed results.

I have done so much research on my family tree. I sent out the copies of my findings to all of my immediate family members.

It turned out that my uncle did his some years back but did not want to share his findings with me. He knows well that I am awfully interested in the family history. It is a bit sad for I could have saved some of money on certs and other documents.

Another thing is that when I sent my findings out, I asked my relatives if they could be kind enough to share any old photographs or stories/information with me. They did not.

It took a fare and my Dad to flew across the pond. We were able to collect a bit of old photographs and other findings. My relatives were happy to provide any information I asked of them.

It had to be one of the most puzzling moment(s) about my family--they failed to see how expensive it was for us to come over to get such information when they could have simply sent them via snail mail. I even offered to reimburse any cost--apparently, this line does not work on them!

I came home--thinking that those very relatives are not mine but Dad's. I did tell Dad my feeling about this--he insisted that they are my family much as his. But I still do not feel any better.

Nevertheless, I was pleased with my findings. Worthwhile, yes--moneywise, no.

Recently, I was in the contact with two descendants from my family tree of two different lineages. One was and still is very helpful with my enquires. Another person is working with me with my help.

It all depends on whom you encountered and how they would react to your requests.

The best of luck to all of you!!

Best wishes,

Tees

[Simon G.]

I asked my relatives if they could be kind enough to share any old photographs or stories/information with me. They did not.

It's not just my lot then.  I sometimes think my Golding line lacks the DNA for good-thinking, pleasantness and generosity.

[GeoffP]

In general the same for my lot. It has been a constant battle to get info. ,photos etc. Often initial interest but when it gets to details little response. Even a cold shoulder from one branch who politely said they had no interest. Sad for keen genealogists like us but I suppose everybody can't be the same.
                                              Geoff

[bulsara]

In my searches I have found a family that although not related in any way were "very good friends" and neighbours of my father and his second wife.Both my father and the second wife have died and members of this family were left money,and lots of other things.They have personal things and lots of photos that I would dearly love to have, but will they send me copies of the photos?I have offered to pay any costs involved but they just don't want to know.
Although I didn't really see my father much I was his only child so I feel very miffed to say the least by this familes attitude to me.

[CarolBurns]

In general the same for my lot. It has been a constant battle to get info. ,photos etc. Often initial interest but when it gets to details little response. Even a cold shoulder from one branch who politely said they had no interest. Sad for keen genealogists like us but I suppose everybody can't be the same.
                                              Geoff

I have to admit that the initial interest was not very good when I started. No one was willing to give info never mind photos etc.

Now after nearly 10 years of research, buying certs, contacting "new" family members and miles and miles of footslogging They have an interest in what I am doing and all want to know who I have found and how far I have got back!

Maybe they thought I wouldn't stick with it for long though they should all know me by now - I love a good challenge and you can't get more challenging than this.

Carol

[jeffster]

Hello,

   I've been reading the correspondence and I have a question as to how to write a certain letter.  Here's a bit of background.

    My grandmother came over to Canada with grandpa in 1947. She was born about the turn of the century, being abandoned by her mother shortly after she was born.  On her landing records she listed her birth mother(the one that abandoned her) as living in Ontario, Canada.  Apparently my grandparents went and visited her and her half-brother for awhile before settling in western Canada.

    I found the family that was living closest to me, but they don't wish to share any information.  I have been able to track down a niece of the half-brother still living in Ontario.

    My main question is how do I  brooch the subject to this individual?  I have a copy of my grandma's landing record as proof of mother's name.  As well my grandmother had a bunch of photographs of the half-brother, and family in her collection.  Should I include this information/photos in my letter??  My grandmother died when I was 4 and this is the only kind of "family" I can find for her.  Grandpa had the half-brothers address on a contact list shortly after my grandmother pasted away.

Any advice?>

Jeff

[KathMc]

Jeff,

I would send a letter with copies of a few of the pictures and the landing records. Just explain what you are doing. I always include in my letters (and I have sent out a ton) that I might have information to share and hope that maybe they do to. I talk about how the personal stories mean more than names and dates in the research process. I have a similar situation with my mother's father, as he left them when my mom was very little and they had minimal contact after that. He never had any more children after my mom and her older brother and I was working from scratch on how to find family members. I actually did it, sent a letter, and have some new relatives I am very close to and loads of incredible information. I have just made contact with my mom's second cousins (the closest I will get) and although it is a little like pulling teeth, they are interested.

The worst that will happen is you won't get a response or they will tell you they arent interested. Always include a self-addressed stamped envelope, and a Rootschatter a while ago suggested putting in the letter that if they aren't interested to please send the empty envelope back, so you know they at least received it, and I always do that also.

Good luck and keep us posted.

Best,
Kath