contacting living relatives

[Jane Eden]

In my family history software "Legacy" they have a questionnaire i can print out and send off to people.

Steve

Please will you send me a copy of the questionnaire.

Thanks

Jane

[sheddyg]

I`m pretty sure this has been covered before but I can`t find it.

Does anyone have any advice on contacting living relatives? - 3th, 4th, 5th cousins etc.

I`m thinking particularly of people where I know their address (through a bit of detective work) but I have no idea if they are interested in family history etc. I don`t want it to appear like I`m  "stalking"  them.

I think what I`m after is information, I don`t necessarily want to strike up a relationship with them - although obviously that would be an added bonus.

What should I say?  What info should I give or ask for...   

I`d better stop now before I talk myself out of it - again. Even potential rejection from strangers scares me and normally I`m such a tough cookie!
sheddyg

[carol8353]

Hi Sheddy

I usually start my letters with " my research has led me to think that we may be related"

Then go into....I am the daughter of  etc etc whom I believe you might be the cousin of(or whatever Say you are sorry if you have the wrong person,but if you are correct,you would love to hear from them, as you are trying to trace your family history.

Give your address,phone number and email address.....then they have a choice. You might hear from them......you might not.
On the whole I have been pretty lucky 

I and a friend also did the same thing to track down 105 of our old school pals for the schools 50th anniversary 4 years ago.Most people are curious,and we were even lucky enough to get replies from people saying "sorry you have the wrong person,but good luck anyway."

So good luck 

Carol

[quizmaster]

Why should anyone be offended by a letter? A phone call is more intrusive. The worst that can happen is that you do not hear from them. You are much more likely to get a letter back expressing mild curiosity in what you are doing and probably giving you a bit of information. I have had mixed responses following this course of action, including one lady who apparently was slightly upset by the contact but mostly because she had been widowed and her late husband was my relative. Perhaps she didn't like being reminded of him?

So go for it

QM

[millerina]

Good Luck Sheddy 

I am also about to write to a newly discovered relative, a cousin of my Grandmothers, so I totally understand all the questions going around in your mind at the moment! I'm sure if you are just friendly and tell them exactly why you have written to them, then they'll probably be happy to reply to you. Everybody loves to receive a friendly handwritten letter, and like quizmaster said, the worst they can do is not reply to it.

Don't talk yourself out of it, fingers crossed we get some good replies!

millerina 

[Romilly]

Hi Sheddy,

I see no problems with a letter.

I did this last Christmas & had a good response. I also put my email address & phone numbers in my letter, as some people find email contact easier initially.

Good Luck!

Romilly.

[Comosus]

I haven't found anyone living yet (well except on GR).  However, I think including a few trees of your research would be very helpful.  If it is the right person, I think they're more likely to reply if they know that you ate are (what a typo!) a relative.  I have been considering contacting living relatives.  I have found a few deaths for siblings of my G Grandfather which are reasonably recent, one of which was only 5 years ago.  I have considered ordering their death certificates to get addresses.

However, the way I see things is that if you don't jump at opportunities you get, you can end up regretting them.  If you decide to do this 5 years down the line, the person you were trying to contact may not be living anymore and information would be lost.  Also, there is little harm in contacting someone - even if they don't reply, you have not lost anything because you never knew them in the first place.  However if they do reply and do send you copies of photos, information etc then it will have been a brilliant success.

My advice: Take the opportunities you get and there's nothing to lose by contacting someone.  I wish I took heed of my own acdive sometimes.

Andrew

[Gadget]

Last year I managed to contact most of the descendants of one set of great grandparents for a re-union.
I can't remember how I started the ball rolling but I think sometime in the January a newly found cousin and I decided it would be fun to do. We each contacted relatives we knew or people we thought might know of some. I even phoned some up from cold (you try finding a Roberts in Llangollen - luckily the second person I phoned knew a friend who knew my cousin - voila, I got him).
A re-union was arranged for mid-July. Even a fortnight before I was still tracing them - all over the UK and Canada, Australia, Ireland). In the end nearly 100 came to the party. It was great fun.

Gadget

[GeoffP]

I usually send a stamped addressed envelope with my letter and incude a part of the family tree showing how we might be connected. However it all depends on the person. The last time I did this and contacted a second cousin once removed, it was all politely sent back to me explaining that they knew all their immediate relatives and were not interested. Such a pity, because all I wanted was some info. on some other lost family lines.
                                                        Geoff