That is very interesting Deb! And makes a lot of sense.
I was never aware of any ill feeling in my branch of the family. Uncle Jack Palmer (& his family) was liked amongst my mum and her cousins, and his sister Mary (my Gt Gran) was a darling from all accounts. There was never mention of any other Palmers though! I must ask my mum's cousin to talk to Auntie Nic. She married Jack Palmer's son. so might know something!
The problem I have with Mary Palmer remarrying, is that her and John probably wern't divorced and therefore not free to marry anyone else. Divorces were difficult and expensive back then, so usually the couple just split then lived with another partner, without the benefit of the clergy.
So John saying he is married is probably the truth, but not necessarily to Alice Philp! "Housekeeper" was a popular eupherism, as was lodger!
Women who split up and didn't find anyone else often said they were widowed.