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Messages - tomjackliam

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Family History Beginners Board / Re: Can searcher companies get it wrong !
« on: Friday 11 April 25 18:03 BST (UK)  »
Quote from: aghadowey on Friday 11 April 25 16:12 BST (UK)
I don't see how you can blame a 'searcher company' for lack of response to what seem to be your birth father's family- or am I reading your original post incorrectly and it's another issue that is the problem?
I was contacted by a close DNA match a few years ago. The situation is more complex than they realise. I did explain that I couldn't help them because it would hurt several innocent people but the other factor was the information I found when checking the details of the match's father.
I think you make a fair comment & it's why I am loathe to name the agency. And not hurting others is also paramount & I did mention the man's wife might still be alive hence no response.

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Family History Beginners Board / Re: Can searcher companies get it wrong !
« on: Friday 11 April 25 14:15 BST (UK)  »
Quote from: Ruskie on Friday 11 April 25 09:26 BST (UK)
I agree with those who suggest you take a DNA test. In cases such as yours I think a DNA test is especially useful, if not vital.

Yes, Ancestry has the largest database but keep in mind that to get the most out of the results, it is now necessary to pay an ongoing annual subscription, so you can see who you match with.

Without a subscription, what you can see is very limited. If you can afford to do so, take out a subscription once your results come through. There are a couple of threads here on rootschat with a link to a very much reduced offer.

Ancestry also divide your results into paternal and maternal sides, which can be helpful.

If you need more help, don’t hesitate to ask. There are many DNA experts here who will be willing to assist.
Thanks Ruskie clearly great advice.

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Family History Beginners Board / Re: Can searcher companies get it wrong !
« on: Friday 11 April 25 14:14 BST (UK)  »
Quote from: Robert_Britt on Thursday 10 April 25 20:55 BST (UK)
I did my DNA through ancestry and it correctly identified several nieces and nephews as well as first, second and third cousins, which when I contacted them I found to be accurate as well. I met (through email) a second cousin and we have corresponded back and forth a few times.
Glas it worked out for you Robert. It's definitely worth trying for me.

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Family History Beginners Board / Re: Can searcher companies get it wrong !
« on: Thursday 10 April 25 20:42 BST (UK)  »
Cas I think you make some fair points and youe experience is the same as mine in that the line the agency have taken just somehow doesn't seem right. Having said that Via Google I found a small company advertising under the name I have and it's owner is supposedly my half brother is depicted. He definitely looks like me and like me has a cleft chin which isn't that common. But I take your point about a DNA check given it's not that expensive. It could also confirm my sister isn't actually my sister as well.

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Family History Beginners Board / Re: Can searcher companies get it wrong !
« on: Thursday 10 April 25 17:40 BST (UK)  »
Thank you Cas for your caring comment. No I never went down the DNA route but just found an investigative company and hired their services.

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Family History Beginners Board / Re: Can searcher companies get it wrong !
« on: Thursday 10 April 25 17:37 BST (UK)  »
Thanks Josephine for replying and therefore was no reason to apologise for the length of it as it was both interesting & moving. Those we have lost would never imagine how we could trace our ancestry so easily would they.

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Family History Beginners Board / Re: Can searcher companies get it wrong !
« on: Thursday 10 April 25 15:34 BST (UK)  »
Thank you for your very erudite comment. Funnily enough I once read an article I think that was written in the Guardian of someone who had the same dilemma I  had and I managed to contact the author. Her opinion was exactly the same as yours and that we should celebrate the parent that has cared for us from an early age and to disregard the one that had abandoned us.Thankfully I was holding the hand of mine as he passed away and I was able tibtell him how much I loved him. So again thank you.

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Family History Beginners Board / Re: Can searcher companies get it wrong !
« on: Wednesday 09 April 25 18:43 BST (UK)  »
Thank you for taking the time to reply & you make some good arguments for why they haven't responded. I would add that given my birth father has died his wife might still be alive & her kids might not want to alarm her by passing on my information.  I think that's fair enough to be honest. You ask why I am seeking this information !
Obviously never having met the man I am curious to find out what his characteristics were for instance did cycle  motorcycle was he a book reader did he care for others etc etc. Indeed was he an upright type of person or was he a rogue who would stitch people up for a tanner ( 6p). None of these are as important as the majority issue I have which is how healthy was he !  As I have got older & suffered my own health issues I am constantly asked whether my parents suffered from different ailments & until I found out my dad wasn't my birth dad I could always give an honest response. Now alas I can't. With regards to meeting up with others who I am distancely related to I am not bothered .Why would I be when I haven't known them for over 70 years.
Finally I think they are weird anyway as if I received the same sort of letter I sent to them I would respond immediately.

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Family History Beginners Board / Can searcher companies get it wrong !
« on: Friday 04 April 25 15:23 BST (UK)  »
Hi thank as for allowing me to join. Now aged 74 about fifteen years ago after years of listening to my wife telling me that my dad was not my genetic dad and telling her she was just being silly I met up with a long lost uncle an very happy with him he confirmed she was right. When I then contacted his sisters my aunties they weren't very happy with him. Sadly they were too young at the time to be able to give me any details.
Now very intrigued I set too in trying to find out more. Which is far easier said than done as we all know. Very long story short frustrated I decided to pay the money and contact a search agency. Best I don't say who but this might give them away.
It seems there were four stages to the process each costing £250. Having been given limited information as the final stage involved contacting my unknown relatives I decided to do this myself and save £250 in the process. Silly choice it seems because after sending them letters telegrams registered letters I have had no response whatsoever over many years. I just find that so strange and its prompted my question. Can they have got it wrong !

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