RootsChat.Com

Perhaps we all know someone who tries to 'get under our skin' to annoy.... are they jealous; or just like to be centre of attention; they may be very unhappy or not too well.  When all else fails to sail on smooth waters, you can try a number of ways to navigate with your cantankerous shipmates.

If they are complaining unfairly about what you have.... or haven't done. Smile sweetly and say in a voice that anyone near can hear....."Did you spot today's deliberate mistake?' It can be taken any way they wish to accept it. Acknowledgement they were right; or send up that you are trying to wind them up?   

Or how about...."Good job I'm not in the Dock in the `1800's !"  Make out of that, what you will.......

 Perhaps....  "What did your last slave die of?"     

 "What did Horace, say Winnie?"   or "What did Winnie say, Horace?"    But always with a sweet smile.

"Would you close the door, when you go out please?"

(just a small sample of a large arsenal of ammunition that doesn't kill, or cause wars, but maintains peace on my terms )

It doesn't take too long before they realise that you aren't capitulating, bending or being intimidated by their actions, talk or attitudes. If it's always said for others to hear, (and without anger)...  It's no fun for the Agitator - as they don't get the response they are looking for in Company; but it can be entertaining for the onlooker, without it looking as though the Third World War is going to erupt.
It keeps your blood pressure down.  Gets them off your back for a quieter future...They then avoid you.... instead of you looking for a quiet spot for a peaceful life.

When I see an Agitator, I actively seek them out, to be in their orbit and striking distance...

so THEY can move away from me.... then I know I have achieved what I set out to do, on previous encounters, and  I know that my PROBLEM SOLVING TECHNIQUES. have worked.

PRIOR PLANNING PREVENTS POOR PERFORMANCE.   Cheers.   Have a good day and keep smiling. They will wonder what you are going to do next. 

Could they have had a Still born, or premature baby; unbaptised in kirk, chapel or church by official and therefore not given witness to his birth?  Or perhaps an unterior motive against naming a child by this title? Not satisfactory, but perhaps to be acknowledged if all other avenues are traced and no evidence found?  Sorry to dampen and dash your hopes of finding a link. Hope I'm wrong.... and you do find the missing link to your satisfaction.

I went off piste and checked out my Stepfather....went back 7 generations to U.S.A. and found Army Colonel in Civil War; slave owner....later freed, T.G. Turned to be a preacher. Built a college and lately got University Status.

Other sides of family come from Monaghan, Tyrone and Antrim years back.

Family and friends war history has uncovered Para's and being involved in Operation Chariot and Biting in France. Linked to French Memorial group writing up their memories of 1942 operation of Radar equipment and operators captured and brought back to England. Shortening war by 8/9 months by updating our knowledge of intercepting bombers!

Dug deep to discover 8 lost years of another family member and finding more tragedies in previous generations never disclosed.  It's like opening Pandora's box; finding the Holy Grail or Lost Tombs hidden for millenniums.   Armchair travelling and archeology at our finger tips. It's been an amazing past time and years of discovering trials and tribulations; celebrations and high days in ancestors lives. Men have been amazing. Women hardy and determined. Proud to have some of their genes.

This case shows how stupid Governments have been over the years about keeping quiet about being open about the origins of Adoptees.   They know who the mother is. UNLESS THE CHILD WAS A TRUE FOUNDLING AND ABANDONED.   They should be insisting that children put up for adoption have both parents named, and paternity of father proven by D.N.A. before they all allowed to be placed for adoption., to stop this from happening again in the future - AND IT WILL! unless steps are taken to stop it!

England knew for years that there were, in the region of 260 incestuous marriages of close relationships  per year, before they allowed Adoptees the right to have sight of their records. This did not mean that they could, or would find the birth mother; and if they did locate her - would she give them the name of their father. Or in fact, did she know who he was?  It could have been a 'One Night Stand', impregnation at a drunken party of more than one partner., or rape.

I hope this is a salutary lesson to Governments in the future, who think condemning the Victims of this appalling case, was instigated solely  by poor, blinkered decisions of narrow minded Government officials passing badly thought out laws that have had this disastrous effect on two innocence Victims who had no means of knowing they were going to be embroiled in such a heinous legal wrangle they had no idea would happen to them.

The British Government knew that we had, in the region of 260 cases of incest per year by the time they changed the Adoption rules in 1975/6.

I was born in the town that my father in law lived in, at the time I was born. It is possible that he could have been my father! NOT FAR FETCHED.  HE HAD LIVED ONLY STREETS AWAY FROM MY MOTHER'S ADDRESS, AND POSSSIBLY WENT TO THE SAME SCHOOL AS HER.

He and his father moved 40 miles south, after the death of his mother...into the same district that I had been adopted into!

In retrospect, and after I was told about my adoption....I still had no idea where I had been born, and so was completely 'In the dark' that I could have been dating my half-brother!  The differences in our religion bore no help or assistance that we were, or not related, as it was changed at the time of adoption, so that this wouldn't have given me any hint that we 'could' have been siblings.   Facts can be far stranger than fictions.

We need more discussions and programmes of complexity of relationships in our present loose moralled, (and the need for instant gratification), world that we are living in; where lust, 'one night stands' and where any and every  emotional feeling should be expressed and explored, without fear of consequence, needs to be highlighted and discussed,  in a more open and adult manner to advise, instruct and warn our young, and not so young, of the dangers of creating new life without thinking of what the 'knock on effects' that this could, and can happen, as the result a night of passion or lust,  without properly thinking it through in a responsible and adult manner.