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Why should he or she have a  lot of explaining to  do, they   could say they  were protecting their  beloved Grandmother,  end of story in my opinion, they have to do what they feel is right for everyone , they have to live with it if they spill the beans to soon,  but as has already been suggested, grandma might know already and doesn't want to upset others,  works both ways.
Good luck with whatever choice you make

LM

Quote from: Biggles50 on Friday 07 June 24 10:31 BST (UK)

Quote from: AnnaBme on Thursday 06 June 24 23:44 BST (UK)

In "FAMILY TREE" which is more important to you "FAMILY" or "TREE"?

It is not that easy.

Family can be Biological or Genealogical and they are not necessarily the same.

In this case “Nan” knows of the DNA test and of the parentage question that it raises.

Her negative response is not going to “put the Genie back in the bottle”, she knows what is happening and her reaction is unfair on her family.

Educate her.

But

Certainly do not miss out on contacting relatives who share your bloodline, should they pass before Nan the chance of a relationship goes with them.

Biggles have you ever had experience of this?  putting  it politely,   it is the OPs choice. Whatever they decide to do!
 I'll  never forget where you came in aggressively  to  a thread nwhen I found  my living parent  had had had  living half sibling  with  your  " the have right  to know."
It is an extremely  hard thing  to go through!!

what  is " educate her " ( as in their  nan) sorry this has totally  put  my back up!
!! Oh wow , how  derogative!!! You should  educate yourself  on  living  people ,close  kin which it affects , and not your own long  dead rellies - it's called FEELINGS,  LOVE and HURT

There are living people 
I am sure the OP knows  their family, and  thier  Nan better than you do. 
 Signing  off as I  am damn angry  with the bull that biggles is spouting off.

Is your mother your  said nan's daughter?
If she is your nan's daughter,  what are her thoughts on the matter? 

Me, I wouldn't  tell my own  Nan if she was alive, if your Nan wanted to DNA test she would. It is up to you and your mum, you know your Nan,  we  certainly dont .

Interesting some of you wouldn't want  know if it was you in nan's position.
Nan has half siblings that she doesn't know about. My parent is in the OPs  nan's position (  my parent has a half sibling that they don't  know about)

I am in a extremely  similar position to your mother, except  it is  my grandfather who fathered an illegitmate child and not the other way about( my granddad fathered an illegitimate child overseas when he was in he army, an affair) .
I have chosen  not to tell  my parent that they have  a living half sibling. It is an extremely, extremely difficult decision to live with!  And anyone  who has ever been in the same position   will know that.


 I have been living with my decision of not informing my parent for just  over two years, it is very  hard to live with it , its not a easy decision.
That's  why I asked you, about  your  mother's thoughts, as she is closer to the situation  than you are, . Your nan's half sibling's are your  mum's half uncles/ Aunts.

I am in contact with my  half uncle ( they took a DNA test , it was how I intially found out , we both highly matched to eachother ,and it was pretty obvious.  We match very high, almost half sibling level.) .

I  assume your nan's  half siblings haven't  taken a test,  and don't  know about your mother or your Nan? ( as your mother would be highly matching to them, it would  be pretty obvious  to them that your  mother must be their half niece).

I 100%  think it's your and your mother's  decision, not strangers, and certainly not one's who have never been in this situation.
( I received flak off someone here   for making the decision  not to tell my parent that they  have a living half sibling )

It is YOUR and YOUR  MUM'S  DNA ,  it is therefore your  and your mum's decision.
For some  who think  "the truth  should be known". It is not your Nan, or  your  close family they will be hurting ,or not hurting. If we all spoke the truth,  when some of the truths can gain no good and just  hurt  the people that you care  deeply about -  what a world it would be eh.

Best of luck to whatever  you  and your mum decide, only you  and your mum  know what is best in your own family's situation ,  I know it is not an easy decision either  way  - It's  something  I have to live with everyday  not telling my parent and spend  many sleepless nights  over it - to tell  my parent, it would extremely hurt  them.
 Very Kind regards

I held a couple of similar secrets  from a  family member, she believed her father was born with my Swedish gt grandfather, she wasn't  but I didn't tell her, she was elderly  and I didn't feel I ought to upset her,  he father was born with my gt grandmother but a completely different partner, it was well documented in the papers that my gt grandmother took a man to court for paternity,   have never understood why, no DNA  in those days but he paid up, he had a wife, I am the only one who found that out, so, I suppose you could weigh the situation up, do you want to upset your family and your beloved grandmother,?,,  another thought is because she is against DNA   does she already know?.

LM
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