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Ancestral Family Tree DNA Testing / Re: Re: Re: Found father through AncestryDNA, if/how to approach DNA match and family?
« on: Thursday 14 June 18 16:10 BST (UK) »
Thanks, Amon000.
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Ancestral Family Tree DNA Testing / Re: Re: Re: Found father through AncestryDNA, if/how to approach DNA match and family?
« on: Thursday 14 June 18 16:06 BST (UK) »
Thank you Amanda.
I am really glad you made contact and wish you all the very best in your dealings with them - hopefully when it sinks in what you have said to them, and they have got over the shock then all will be fine. I do hope so, let us all know!
Thanks for your kind words about my own particular situation.... much appreciated. I will certainly let you know on here if and when there are more developments. Got to pluck up the courage to contact them first, LOL!
I am really glad you made contact and wish you all the very best in your dealings with them - hopefully when it sinks in what you have said to them, and they have got over the shock then all will be fine. I do hope so, let us all know!
Thanks for your kind words about my own particular situation.... much appreciated. I will certainly let you know on here if and when there are more developments. Got to pluck up the courage to contact them first, LOL!
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Ancestral Family Tree DNA Testing / Re: Re: Re: Found father through AncestryDNA, if/how to approach DNA match and family?
« on: Thursday 14 June 18 14:48 BST (UK) »
Thanks to all the folk who have messaged me. Yes, I will be staying around... I won't be put off by one person. Thank you for all your kind words and support.
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Ancestral Family Tree DNA Testing / Re: Re: Re: Found father through AncestryDNA, if/how to approach DNA match and family?
« on: Thursday 14 June 18 14:16 BST (UK) »
Thank you all for your support. I was very taken aback at such rudeness and like Gardenshed says, if that is acceptable here it started me thinking, this is not the place to be.
Anyway, it is good to know that is not the general tone of people on this site. Davidft, please do not respond to any of my posts from now on.
My half sisters have not tested for DNA no, well as far as I know they haven't. I think it would have flagged it up if they had anyway.
Thanks for all your help and advice, and yes it would be good to hear an update on the original post, from amon000.
Anyway, it is good to know that is not the general tone of people on this site. Davidft, please do not respond to any of my posts from now on.
My half sisters have not tested for DNA no, well as far as I know they haven't. I think it would have flagged it up if they had anyway.
Thanks for all your help and advice, and yes it would be good to hear an update on the original post, from amon000.
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Ancestral Family Tree DNA Testing / Re: Re: Re: Found father through AncestryDNA, if/how to approach DNA match and family?
« on: Thursday 14 June 18 12:51 BST (UK) »
Many thanks Dorrie.
I appreciate your post and your advice; I guess it is up to my sisters whether they involve their mother or not. As I am on Ancestry, there is a cousin there also, (my father's cousin) so it may be that she will spot me in her matches anyway and get in touch with ME! Who knows.... the only thing holding me back is whether or not my father's widow would hear of it and be distressed. I really don't want to cause any upset. But I do need to get in touch with my half sisters just in case they might be interested. I received a wonderful welcome from my birth mother's family (she is now dead and died before I found them unfortunately)... but my American half needs attention now! LOL!
I appreciate your post and your advice; I guess it is up to my sisters whether they involve their mother or not. As I am on Ancestry, there is a cousin there also, (my father's cousin) so it may be that she will spot me in her matches anyway and get in touch with ME! Who knows.... the only thing holding me back is whether or not my father's widow would hear of it and be distressed. I really don't want to cause any upset. But I do need to get in touch with my half sisters just in case they might be interested. I received a wonderful welcome from my birth mother's family (she is now dead and died before I found them unfortunately)... but my American half needs attention now! LOL!
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Ancestral Family Tree DNA Testing / Re: Found father through AncestryDNA, if/how to approach DNA match and family?
« on: Thursday 14 June 18 11:41 BST (UK) »
Actually yes it did.
I knew the name of my birth father and had already traced his family tree before getting my results back. The ancestry result came back saying I was related to a certain person who was an ancestor of his, in that tree. So quite a coincidence I would think! To me, it proves that he was in fact my father, who had been named by my mother as the man responsible. If I had not done any research on my putative father or didn't have his name, then I would agree with you it could be a long shot. But not under these circumstances. It is next to impossible for Ancestry to tell me I am descended from someone who happens to be in the family tree of the person whom my mother named as my father. Coincidences don't come up like that without reason. Thanks for your reply though... I do know it would not stand up in court, as no doctors were present at the test but I don't worry about that.
I knew the name of my birth father and had already traced his family tree before getting my results back. The ancestry result came back saying I was related to a certain person who was an ancestor of his, in that tree. So quite a coincidence I would think! To me, it proves that he was in fact my father, who had been named by my mother as the man responsible. If I had not done any research on my putative father or didn't have his name, then I would agree with you it could be a long shot. But not under these circumstances. It is next to impossible for Ancestry to tell me I am descended from someone who happens to be in the family tree of the person whom my mother named as my father. Coincidences don't come up like that without reason. Thanks for your reply though... I do know it would not stand up in court, as no doctors were present at the test but I don't worry about that.
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Ancestral Family Tree DNA Testing / Re: Found father through AncestryDNA, if/how to approach DNA match and family?
« on: Thursday 14 June 18 11:07 BST (UK) »
Hi, I found my birth father who was American, I always had his name but he denied it at the time the adoption records said. However the Ancestry DNA test proved it was he who fathered me. He is now dead. I have four half sisters over in America.
Thing is, he married someone soon after I was born (here in the UK where he was stationed) and she is now his widow living in America... I have no wish to upset her and wonder if I should get in touch with my sisters or not. As time is getting on, we are getting no younger, I am in my 60s and so are they. I would love to make contact with one or more of them, but don't want their mother to find out in case it causes problems with her as I don't feel I have the right to do that.
She either knew about me or she didnt' - if she did, she won't want reminding and if she didn't, then it would be a big shock to someone in her 80s.
Or should I contact my sisters and leave it to them, whether they tell her or not? I am in the UK... I only want to make contact with my birth family - I am not after anything other than that. They may well reject me and not believe me, even with the Ancestry DNA linking me directly to that family but what should I do... contact them or not and hope they don't tell his widow and upset her? PS My birth mother is dead but I am already in contact with my birth family here in England (My birth mother's relatives).
Thing is, he married someone soon after I was born (here in the UK where he was stationed) and she is now his widow living in America... I have no wish to upset her and wonder if I should get in touch with my sisters or not. As time is getting on, we are getting no younger, I am in my 60s and so are they. I would love to make contact with one or more of them, but don't want their mother to find out in case it causes problems with her as I don't feel I have the right to do that.
She either knew about me or she didnt' - if she did, she won't want reminding and if she didn't, then it would be a big shock to someone in her 80s.
Or should I contact my sisters and leave it to them, whether they tell her or not? I am in the UK... I only want to make contact with my birth family - I am not after anything other than that. They may well reject me and not believe me, even with the Ancestry DNA linking me directly to that family but what should I do... contact them or not and hope they don't tell his widow and upset her? PS My birth mother is dead but I am already in contact with my birth family here in England (My birth mother's relatives).
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