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Wexford / Re: Who did Lucy marry?
« on: Saturday 15 February 14 20:37 GMT (UK) »
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Lancashire / Re: single mothers home run by nuns
« on: Wednesday 29 January 14 17:03 GMT (UK) »
Can anybody suggest where I would go to find out this ifnormation please? Also, did people just work here or did they have to be pregnant? Thanks
Well I was there from April till Beginning October of 1968 (see my story which i posted to give you and others some idea of what it was like). At that time there were no other people that i can remember other than the nuns and the girls who all had to work. In fact I was assigned to dining room duties and we had to move all these big heavy tables every day in order to scrub and polish the floor. And then do the same in the sitting room. Girls were also used to look after the orphaned or abandonned babies in the nursery. These were all babies, not toddlers, but older than ours as most people did not stay at St. Teresa's once the baby was six or max eight weeks. I think the six weeks was mandatory by law. It was supposed (by law) to give the mothers a period in which to make up their minds. However, since any Catholic girl who got pregnant in that diocese at the time had Canon McHugh as social worker and no other choice and he would only help her if she had the baby adopted, there was really no other option for girls who did not have their parents or other relatives behind them. You could not just walk out of there with a small baby and nowhere to go. We were very vulnerable and at their mercy in a way. I think we were seen as a vehicle to provide good Catholic families who couldn't conceive with the babies they desired so much. There was an element of having sinned involved and, if we suffered in giving up our children then it was part of the redemption process. Not good memories at all!
3
Lancashire / Re: single mothers home run by nuns
« on: Wednesday 29 January 14 06:33 GMT (UK) »
Part three of Mary's story
Four days later i was on a plane for Switzerland where my elder sister had been instructed to find me a job without much pay (to prevent my return). My parents refused to send me photos or news of my daughter and a friend whom i asked to go to the home when I finally found out she had been placed wrote and told me she'd been told that my baby had been adopted. I had contacted the Association for the unmarried mother and her child for help but they must have been mislead by Canon McHugh because they seemed to want to help me but after I gave them his contact information, I eventually got a letter from them saying it was a bad idea for me to take my daughter away from my parents and put her in a home. She was not with my parents and never had been and had been in a home run by nuns.
I was in such a state of depression at that time i was behaving quite recklessly, going out to see my elder sister who had left the UK six months earlier and worked in the largest big town, drinking cheap beer in order to forget my problems and hitchhiking to get home - I didn't care about anything. After this latest bit of news regarding my daughter I got very sick. I had to look after other people's kids instead of my own and felt like throttling the baby so i used to handle him as little as possible. I used to get into a hot bath once i was alone in the house and the baby was sleeping and the other child at school and just cry my eyes out, day after day. I eventually had to see a doctor and i broke down and told him my predicament and he was very kind and told me it was normal i was ill when i was missing my daughter.
My employers didn't object to me leaving when they realized the circumstances and I came back as soon as i raised enough money for the train fare and arrived in London with only sixpence a friend had sent me in my pocket and ended up in a home in Soho for destitute women, some of whom were ex-convicts or prostitutes.
It took me some time before i managed to get back to the North of England and then get my daughter back. Everyone who was a Catholic and lived in that diocese had to have Canon McHugh as their social worker and this meant that, unless your parents were behind you, it was difficult to keep your child. We were young, vulnerable and in my case i had not finished my education and was not even able to take care of myself properly. No family allowance for the first child, no income support and no housing allowance were available, unlike today. I was on a waiting list for housing in London but was told it was a 20 year wait. I had to grow up quickly. I left the UK for good taking my daughter when she was three. Second best thing i did in my life.
I was determined to give her a good life and prove Canon McHugh wrong. Seems I was successful.
I was tallish with blondish hair cut in a bob (badly cut i may add) and blue eyes. I think i went by my own name.
I wonder if you remember me?
Four days later i was on a plane for Switzerland where my elder sister had been instructed to find me a job without much pay (to prevent my return). My parents refused to send me photos or news of my daughter and a friend whom i asked to go to the home when I finally found out she had been placed wrote and told me she'd been told that my baby had been adopted. I had contacted the Association for the unmarried mother and her child for help but they must have been mislead by Canon McHugh because they seemed to want to help me but after I gave them his contact information, I eventually got a letter from them saying it was a bad idea for me to take my daughter away from my parents and put her in a home. She was not with my parents and never had been and had been in a home run by nuns.
I was in such a state of depression at that time i was behaving quite recklessly, going out to see my elder sister who had left the UK six months earlier and worked in the largest big town, drinking cheap beer in order to forget my problems and hitchhiking to get home - I didn't care about anything. After this latest bit of news regarding my daughter I got very sick. I had to look after other people's kids instead of my own and felt like throttling the baby so i used to handle him as little as possible. I used to get into a hot bath once i was alone in the house and the baby was sleeping and the other child at school and just cry my eyes out, day after day. I eventually had to see a doctor and i broke down and told him my predicament and he was very kind and told me it was normal i was ill when i was missing my daughter.
My employers didn't object to me leaving when they realized the circumstances and I came back as soon as i raised enough money for the train fare and arrived in London with only sixpence a friend had sent me in my pocket and ended up in a home in Soho for destitute women, some of whom were ex-convicts or prostitutes.
It took me some time before i managed to get back to the North of England and then get my daughter back. Everyone who was a Catholic and lived in that diocese had to have Canon McHugh as their social worker and this meant that, unless your parents were behind you, it was difficult to keep your child. We were young, vulnerable and in my case i had not finished my education and was not even able to take care of myself properly. No family allowance for the first child, no income support and no housing allowance were available, unlike today. I was on a waiting list for housing in London but was told it was a 20 year wait. I had to grow up quickly. I left the UK for good taking my daughter when she was three. Second best thing i did in my life.
I was determined to give her a good life and prove Canon McHugh wrong. Seems I was successful.
I was tallish with blondish hair cut in a bob (badly cut i may add) and blue eyes. I think i went by my own name.
I wonder if you remember me?
I was at St Teresa's from 1st May 1968 till mid July. I kept my son, born 15th June, but have never forgotten seeing those poor girls weeping when they gave their babies up for adoption. Many of them were Irish, often returning afterwards to marry the father of their child, their families wanting to preserve the outward show of Catholic respectability.
The nuns were kind and caring, but trapped in the system.
I remember a young nun, Sister Mark, I think she wasl called.
I get tearful remembering that time. It would be great to hear from anyone
who was at St Teresa's then.
4
Lancashire / Re: single mothers home run by nuns
« on: Tuesday 28 January 14 23:40 GMT (UK) »
Part two of Mary's Story
The home was shut down shortly after that (at least for the girls coming out of hospital) because there was an outbreak of dysentery. Do you remember that? Until the home got the all clear, the girls coming out of hospitals with their babies went into a different home and when they came to visit us they said it was completely different, so it was an improvement for them. The nursery stayed open as there were a lot of older babies who were there and had to be cared for by the girls allocated to nursery duty.
The incident with my Dad refusing to look at my daughter, the time when Canon McHugh banged on the table and visions of the food in the dining room compared to the food enjoyed by the nuns and pregnant women having to drag large heavy tables across the room every day to clean and scrub, could have been lifted from a film i saw a few years ago called "The Magdelen Sisters" though obviously we were not treated anywhere near as bad as the girls in those Irish homes.
My Dad came and took me back to the Wirral where my parents then lived, when my daughter was about seven weeks old. She was absolutely beautiful and smiled already, cooing and interacting with me. She was transported in a drawer (which bothered me a lot for its symbolic connotations) and we drove into our carriage before getting out of the car as they were so ashamed anyone would see us. After seeing my mother briefly, feeding and changing the child and having some tea, my Dad drove me to another convent in Birkenhead where one of the nuns came and wrenched her from me almost as soon as i walked in the door and another nun made me go into the chapel to show my gratitude to God. I can't describe the heartbreak of that moment. I didn't use to be able to tell anybody about this and always broke down in tears when i tried to so my daughter does not really know the full story and this is of course just part of it, but something i might share with her. Afterwards i had to go to a toy factory or shop with my Mother who was buying present for poor children. I remember bursting into tears each time i saw the toys. It was my birthday and for years afterwards i got very depressed in the days leading up to my birthday till i understood why.
Thinking about it later i wonder why my mother was so unfeeling as to take me into that environment at such a time. I also wonder why she encouraged me to breast feed my daughter even though she had no intention of letting me keep her. In the event I couldn't breastfeed anyway as i was very nervous and couldn't manage to do so. I had a problem with my nipples being inverted and no.one to help me persevere with it. She told me it was better for the baby which is true of course, but then it does increase the bonding between mother and child, so I don't know what she was thinking. Finally I wonder why she arranged a a job for me looking after other people's children, especially a baby. It seems unnecessarily cruel or just plain stupid. I don't think she saw me as an adult with feelings but more of a child who would just get over it and the baby as a toy that could be replaced by having a new one to look after. I never would have. got over it had I had my daughter adopted. I felt strongly that she was my responsibility and that I needed to know she was ok and the only way i could do that was being with her. I had no intention of leaving things as they were but thought if i did what they said and went abroad they would relent when they realized that i hadn't changed my resolve to keep her and let me come home. Unfortunately, they were not interested in how unhappy i was. They just thought the problem had been solved and didn't want to know.
The home was shut down shortly after that (at least for the girls coming out of hospital) because there was an outbreak of dysentery. Do you remember that? Until the home got the all clear, the girls coming out of hospitals with their babies went into a different home and when they came to visit us they said it was completely different, so it was an improvement for them. The nursery stayed open as there were a lot of older babies who were there and had to be cared for by the girls allocated to nursery duty.
The incident with my Dad refusing to look at my daughter, the time when Canon McHugh banged on the table and visions of the food in the dining room compared to the food enjoyed by the nuns and pregnant women having to drag large heavy tables across the room every day to clean and scrub, could have been lifted from a film i saw a few years ago called "The Magdelen Sisters" though obviously we were not treated anywhere near as bad as the girls in those Irish homes.
My Dad came and took me back to the Wirral where my parents then lived, when my daughter was about seven weeks old. She was absolutely beautiful and smiled already, cooing and interacting with me. She was transported in a drawer (which bothered me a lot for its symbolic connotations) and we drove into our carriage before getting out of the car as they were so ashamed anyone would see us. After seeing my mother briefly, feeding and changing the child and having some tea, my Dad drove me to another convent in Birkenhead where one of the nuns came and wrenched her from me almost as soon as i walked in the door and another nun made me go into the chapel to show my gratitude to God. I can't describe the heartbreak of that moment. I didn't use to be able to tell anybody about this and always broke down in tears when i tried to so my daughter does not really know the full story and this is of course just part of it, but something i might share with her. Afterwards i had to go to a toy factory or shop with my Mother who was buying present for poor children. I remember bursting into tears each time i saw the toys. It was my birthday and for years afterwards i got very depressed in the days leading up to my birthday till i understood why.
Thinking about it later i wonder why my mother was so unfeeling as to take me into that environment at such a time. I also wonder why she encouraged me to breast feed my daughter even though she had no intention of letting me keep her. In the event I couldn't breastfeed anyway as i was very nervous and couldn't manage to do so. I had a problem with my nipples being inverted and no.one to help me persevere with it. She told me it was better for the baby which is true of course, but then it does increase the bonding between mother and child, so I don't know what she was thinking. Finally I wonder why she arranged a a job for me looking after other people's children, especially a baby. It seems unnecessarily cruel or just plain stupid. I don't think she saw me as an adult with feelings but more of a child who would just get over it and the baby as a toy that could be replaced by having a new one to look after. I never would have. got over it had I had my daughter adopted. I felt strongly that she was my responsibility and that I needed to know she was ok and the only way i could do that was being with her. I had no intention of leaving things as they were but thought if i did what they said and went abroad they would relent when they realized that i hadn't changed my resolve to keep her and let me come home. Unfortunately, they were not interested in how unhappy i was. They just thought the problem had been solved and didn't want to know.
I was at St Teresa's from 1st May 1968 till mid July. I kept my son, born 15th June, but have never forgotten seeing those poor girls weeping when they gave their babies up for adoption. Many of them were Irish, often returning afterwards to marry the father of their child, their families wanting to preserve the outward show of Catholic respectability.
The nuns were kind and caring, but trapped in the system.
I remember a young nun, Sister Mark, I think she wasl called.
I get tearful remembering that time. It would be great to hear from anyone
who was at St Teresa's then.
5
Lancashire / Re: single mothers home run by nuns
« on: Tuesday 28 January 14 23:31 GMT (UK) »
<This posting was promted by a post from ShirleyJones who wanted to hear from people who were in St. Teresa's at the same time she was in 1968 but might be of interest to other readers, which is one reason why i posted instead of sending a PM>
My name is Mary. I was at St Teresa's at the same time you were there Shirley. I was there for about seven months in all coming from a school for the blind run by nuns of the same order where i looked after 16 teenage blind or partially sighted girls. Some of these handicapped girls were older than i was at the time (i was 17 but started to work as a housemother when i was 16 i think) so i had to keep my age secret so as to get some respect and maintain authority). I had my baby in mid-August 1968 so I probably arrived at St. Teresas some time in April 1968 and left beginning of October, when I was forced to give her up, and sent out of the country. However, I was able to save enough money to get back to the UK and finally got her back. Best thing i ever did in my life.
My memories of St Teresa's are not particularly good, and certainly not as forgiving as yours. I wonder if we knew each other?I was in a bedroom with two Irish girls (just three of us). I was tall and the beds were for children so it was most uncomfortable. As i was in St. Teresa's for a long time and the food was not that nutritious and often inedible and I became very anaemic. So much so, I was interrogated at the hospital to see what we were eating and after that there were some changes made so i think the nuns must have got into trouble.
I had been told by Canon McKew who sent me there that i could work with the children who were in the nursery, and continue the studies i was doing in residential child care while in St Teresa's but was forced to work in the dining room when i got there. I worked for Sister Kieren.
My parents said that it was my choice and they would stand by me whatever I wanted to do, but when i told them i wanted to keep my daughter (there had never been any doubt in my mind about that) my mum said she hoped God would guide me to do the right thing and I realized that they were not going to keep their word. My Dad refused to look at my daughter when they visited me at the hospital, even though I begged him to see how sweet she was. Canon McHugh banged on the table and told me she would be better in an orphanage all her life than with me.
Unlike you i didn't find the nuns that kind or caring, though there was one young nun who was nice. I remember being made to stay in the home when my Mum came to visit me instead of going out with her in order to look after someone else's kid. I thought it very unfair as my Mum was coming on her own and had no car and wanted me to meet her by the station. I didn't see my parents all that often because of the distance and the fact they had two young children at the time. I made a scene and eventually was allowed to go out and meet her. Worse that that, I had to work nights after i came out of the hospital and they would forbid me to look after my daughter in the daytime, even going as far as locking me in a room, so i wouldnt be so tired at night. When i reported a girl who, unlike me didn't want to keep her child, who was abusing her at feeding times, they refused to come and look and said it was not their policy to interfere and the child would soon be adopted (i remember saying yes, if she survives) The abuse was as bad as that.
I didn't think some of the nuns had a vocation as most of them were Irish and would have entered the convent in a time when one girl from each family was sent to a convent and one boy to the priesthood. I didn't find some of them very knowledgeable as i didn't find some of the nuns who taught me at school or worked at the school for the blind. Iwas appalled at their attitude to things like the food we ate. One incident that sticks in my mind is that the bread we were served up was going moldy but they wouldn't throw it out( and the uneaten loves were stockpiled in the kitchen and getting stale and moldy too) and they didn't want to alter the order so there were large numbers of loaves going moldy and no chance of us getting edible bread. One of the girls who worked in the dining room with me threw the moldy bread away and Sister Kieren took it out of the bin and put it back on the table saying that the nuns had taken a vow of poverty.
My name is Mary. I was at St Teresa's at the same time you were there Shirley. I was there for about seven months in all coming from a school for the blind run by nuns of the same order where i looked after 16 teenage blind or partially sighted girls. Some of these handicapped girls were older than i was at the time (i was 17 but started to work as a housemother when i was 16 i think) so i had to keep my age secret so as to get some respect and maintain authority). I had my baby in mid-August 1968 so I probably arrived at St. Teresas some time in April 1968 and left beginning of October, when I was forced to give her up, and sent out of the country. However, I was able to save enough money to get back to the UK and finally got her back. Best thing i ever did in my life.
My memories of St Teresa's are not particularly good, and certainly not as forgiving as yours. I wonder if we knew each other?I was in a bedroom with two Irish girls (just three of us). I was tall and the beds were for children so it was most uncomfortable. As i was in St. Teresa's for a long time and the food was not that nutritious and often inedible and I became very anaemic. So much so, I was interrogated at the hospital to see what we were eating and after that there were some changes made so i think the nuns must have got into trouble.
I had been told by Canon McKew who sent me there that i could work with the children who were in the nursery, and continue the studies i was doing in residential child care while in St Teresa's but was forced to work in the dining room when i got there. I worked for Sister Kieren.
My parents said that it was my choice and they would stand by me whatever I wanted to do, but when i told them i wanted to keep my daughter (there had never been any doubt in my mind about that) my mum said she hoped God would guide me to do the right thing and I realized that they were not going to keep their word. My Dad refused to look at my daughter when they visited me at the hospital, even though I begged him to see how sweet she was. Canon McHugh banged on the table and told me she would be better in an orphanage all her life than with me.
Unlike you i didn't find the nuns that kind or caring, though there was one young nun who was nice. I remember being made to stay in the home when my Mum came to visit me instead of going out with her in order to look after someone else's kid. I thought it very unfair as my Mum was coming on her own and had no car and wanted me to meet her by the station. I didn't see my parents all that often because of the distance and the fact they had two young children at the time. I made a scene and eventually was allowed to go out and meet her. Worse that that, I had to work nights after i came out of the hospital and they would forbid me to look after my daughter in the daytime, even going as far as locking me in a room, so i wouldnt be so tired at night. When i reported a girl who, unlike me didn't want to keep her child, who was abusing her at feeding times, they refused to come and look and said it was not their policy to interfere and the child would soon be adopted (i remember saying yes, if she survives) The abuse was as bad as that.
I didn't think some of the nuns had a vocation as most of them were Irish and would have entered the convent in a time when one girl from each family was sent to a convent and one boy to the priesthood. I didn't find some of them very knowledgeable as i didn't find some of the nuns who taught me at school or worked at the school for the blind. Iwas appalled at their attitude to things like the food we ate. One incident that sticks in my mind is that the bread we were served up was going moldy but they wouldn't throw it out( and the uneaten loves were stockpiled in the kitchen and getting stale and moldy too) and they didn't want to alter the order so there were large numbers of loaves going moldy and no chance of us getting edible bread. One of the girls who worked in the dining room with me threw the moldy bread away and Sister Kieren took it out of the bin and put it back on the table saying that the nuns had taken a vow of poverty.
I was at St Teresa's from 1st May 1968 till mid July. I kept my son, born 15th June, but have never forgotten seeing those poor girls weeping when they gave their babies up for adoption. Many of them were Irish, often returning afterwards to marry the father of their child, their families wanting to preserve the outward show of Catholic respectability.
The nuns were kind and caring, but trapped in the system.
I remember a young nun, Sister Mark, I think she wasl called.
I get tearful remembering that time. It would be great to hear from anyone
who was at St Teresa's then.
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