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Messages - Annis 51

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1
Somerset / Re: Caleb Cotton STEVENS 1842 Winsford Somerset UK
« on: Saturday 17 August 13 12:02 BST (UK)  »
Ok. I agree it is complicated. Having not one but two grandsons with a Stevens father who are not related - family relationships are tricky. What annoys me is family loyalty even when someone has behaved very badly. Just because the person is your relation doesn't mean that their behaviour can be considered exemplary! If it is wrong it is wrong. I've taken this stance with both Stevens families and they now realise that if they want to have contact with the boys they have to be nice. Some people have come round to my way of thinking, some have not. Alex is an emotional mess at the moment so we are giving her lots of support both emotional and financial. She's very lonely but her school friends are being great to her. They are all turning 30 this year and they've all invited Alex and Brendan to their birthday parties so she hasn't been left out unlike the family have done. I've been baby sitting so they've been able to go. It makes up for not having been able to make friends with Brendan's family other than his Dad who is marevelous. He even apologised on behalf of the Stevens family for Andrew's conduct and went to see his parents to try to sort it out. Such a star and Alex is very fond of him. I've got a tea towel which says Friends are the Family you choose which says it all!!!
Anyway I'll have a look at my records and see if I have any extra information. Cynthia, Andrew's mother has Greendslades in her family tree on her mother's side. Her mother was born Doreen Florence Tarr and her mother was Ellen Greenslade. There are quite a few Greenslades though.
James Stevens, Brendan's ancestor, came from Brompton Regis where he lived at Lyncombe Farm. The Buckingham's live there now but they are related since the farm passed to a son in law I think.
The reason we are researching the family tree is because my daughter has a rare kidney disease, FJHN, which is made much worse if there is any consanguinity anywhere. My husband's parents were related so this means that Alex is much more affected by the gene fault than I am. So we need to know who the boys are related to so that they don't have children with them. Apparently sixth cousins is considered all right so one has to go back a long way.
Plus we've had DNA tests to prove paternity so that in 30 years when people look at photos and the grandparents don't look all that much like their grandchildren we've got documents to prove they were the real grandparents. I'll either be dead or extremely old and I don't want the boys to have trouble. Colin was fine about it. He said that he's 68 now and is bound to be dead by then! Yes well that's life. He did the swabs with a grin. He's so much fun. Much easier than a blood test but I'm sure that he would have done that too.
Do you have children? When I had my first baby I realised why my parents did so much for me. They loved us unconditionally. I wasn't a difficult child, apparently I was very good (yuk) but it was wonderful to be loved so much.
Imagine having 8 children! 4 was enough for me.
Regards,
Annis.

2
Somerset / Re: Caleb Cotton STEVENS 1842 Winsford Somerset UK
« on: Thursday 15 August 13 16:40 BST (UK)  »
Oh dear but sometimes the truth hurts. Considering how Alex fared in 2008 I expect Mary had a pretty difficult time. Before the 1954 Midwifery Act babies died very often. If there appeared to be something wrong the midwife would smother the infant of just pop it under the bed where it snuffed it. Horrible but it happened. Have you read The Citadel by A.J. Cronin? There a story in it where the young and idealistic doctor realises that this has happened and he rescues the infant. He shouts for hot water and plunges the baby into the basin and then into cold water and back again. This works and the child lives. Bastards were treated very poorly. So sad since it wasn't their fault.
Have you looked at bmd roots? You can see a lot there but it isn't as complete as Ancestry.
How many children did Mary and Mathew have? There are Howes in Wheddon Cross still. Very kind people. Peter Howe acts as a Dutch uncle to both boys. Grandpa Colin is great fun and he makes no distinction between the boys. Lots of crawling on the floor and tower building.
Do you have children? So are you a cousin to Brendan? Or to Andrew? Or maybe both since you've discovered a connection to both Stevens families. I haven't found one yet.
Good luck,
Annis.

3
Somerset / Re: Caleb Cotton STEVENS 1842 Winsford Somerset UK
« on: Wednesday 14 August 13 19:03 BST (UK)  »
Just looked on the 1871 census record and there was a Caleb Stevens at the Lambeth Church. Have you looked at this record? In the 1861 census there is a Caleb Stevens in Lewes. This man is still alive in 1901 and is distinct from Caleb Stevens born in Winsford. Maybe Caleb was in London when the census was taken and the Church wrote him down as being there on that night. It might say more about him in the actual record. One of my ancestors was away from home and it states visitor from Broadstairs in the actual record.
You could also look up harness makers ( what he was in 1901) in Somerset and see if he turns up.
The Heritage Centre has loads of old records.
Who were his godparents? Are these in his baptism record? He might have gone there. I think that he would have spent a lot of time with his grandfather William if he names him as his father on the marriage certificate. Who witnessed the wedding because he might have been living with them. Life was a lot harder then. What happened to William Cotton? Did he die before he could marry Mary? Was he married already? You have relations in America by the way because I saw a post about this man on a US site.
Regards,
Annis.

4
Somerset / Re: Caleb Cotton STEVENS 1842 Winsford Somerset UK
« on: Wednesday 14 August 13 18:37 BST (UK)  »
Dear Christy,
Ok so do you live on Exmoor? The thing is that Exmoor is rather uncivilised and a bit behind the times. If you have a bastard baby round here and the father doesn't want you to keep the baby and doesn't stand by you nobody will speak to you if you do! My eldest grandson is the son of Andrew Stevens of Codsend, Wheddon Cross. I thought that he was ok but he turned nasty when Alex my daughter told him she was pregnant. He told her to get an abortion otherwise nobody would have anything to do with her. Well she didn't want one and Ben was born May 2008. We had to go the whole nine yards with the CSA and Andrew refuses to see his only child. He pays £5 a week because he lies about his income. The grandparents see the boy once a year on his birthday which really annoys my daughter since this is neither one thing or the other. So it is not very nice. Plus Andrew Stevens works for Sully's in Minehead! Some coincidence. As well as this my daughter married Brendan Stevens June 2011 and they had a baby Max the following May. Brendan descends from the Winsford Stevens and is therefore a distant relation of yours. His father Colin was born 1945. His father was Victor who was born (can't remember) then it was Rupert Darrell then Robert who was born in 1857 then James who was born in 1812 then William Stevens who was born in 1798! So there it is. Colin Stevens lives in Wheddon Cross and he's a sweetie. He loves the boys and sees them a lot. In view of what has happened to us I can well believe someone keeping quiet about the shame of having a bastard in the mid 1800's. My father was born a bastard in 1933 and it was just the same then. It is only recently that being illegitimate hasn't ever been anything but a terrible shame. Such a pity. This is the likely reason for not finding him in the census records. Life is different now and I hope that the boys on Exmoor got a wake up call when they discovered what happens when they get a girl in the family way and tell the CSA to F--K OFF. We got a new birth certificate with his name on and he should be ashamed of himself. Ben has a new Daddy now which he thinks is fine. "The first Dad was no good cos he ran off." Rather says it all. Minehead used to have the highest teenage pregnancy rate in Somerset but now the school has resumed sex education lessons the rate has gone down.
I had a word about Caleb when Colin came for supper last night and he said that he would have a look into it.
So it is a bit frontier land here. I was surprised by the viciousness of the local girls in relation to Alex. Brendan was told by one of them that the reason they hated her so much was because they all had to do the decent thing and have an abortion! It's not fair she was allowed to keep her baby and I hate her!!!!! Well more fool you was his reply. Indeed Alex was pressed to have a termination by the doctor at Musgrove but she's Roman Catholic and does not believe in that kind of behaviour. Ben is a splendid chap (looks just like his Dad!) and we adore him.
So whilst I like Exmoor I find some of the locals rather unfriendly!
I'll let you know if I come across anything.
Regards,
Annis.
PS. Now Ben is walking around looking just like his Dad the older men shake their heads and say Hmmmmm.!!!!!!

5
Somerset / Re: Caleb Cotton STEVENS 1842 Winsford Somerset UK
« on: Wednesday 14 August 13 14:17 BST (UK)  »
Hello,
I've found that sometimes people are missing from the census because they were deliberately left out. This was because the head of household did not want them to appear or because they thought that they were going to be put on the list at their permanent home. Rarely they were abroad so were not resident in the UK. Nobody did anything about it then.
Similarly birth registration. If a baby died the usual thing was to replace 'it' with another baby! This meant having another baby and giving the new baby the same name as the baby who died. Another method was for the bereaved couple to accept a bastard baby that had recently been born to another woman who was unmarried and unsupported. Her reputation was restored and nobody minded this. Still happens in other countries. Sometimes the dead baby/child was replaced by a child of similar age but re-named by the new parents with the same name as the dead baby/child. Better than being chucked down a disused mine shaft or well. All normal right up until the Midwifery Act 1954 which made it illegal to assist in the birth of a baby and to keep it a secret. Not illegal to give birth and say nothing until after 42 days!
Anyway children were often farmed out to other branches of the family to be brought up. Now we know that it is important to know who your parents are because of genetic problems being caused by cousin marriage. This was common practise in rural areas even though the Church was very much against it.
Also girls were forced to get married when pregnant. If the baby's father was unwilling or already married, a widower might offer. Usually the girl was very grateful and the arrangement worked well. The new husband was registered as the father.
Have you looked into Mary's subsequent marriage to one of the Howe family? Three of William Stevens's children married Howes.
Best wishes,
Annis.

6
Somerset / Re: Caleb Cotton STEVENS 1842 Winsford Somerset UK
« on: Saturday 10 August 13 23:37 BST (UK)  »
Just saw your post about Caleb Stevens. My son in law is descended from William Stevens, the father of Mary Stevens. William had several children. James (born Nov 1812) had Robert who had Rupert who had Victor who had Colin who had Brendan.
Sometimes a woman became pregnant with a man who did not marry her and she was left pregnant and unmarried. The usual thing was to give the baby to a couple who were childless to bring up as their own. This left the woman free to marry another man without the burden of bringing up another man's child.
However William Stevens was already bringing up William Norman Stevens his daughter Jane's son. Jane died in childbirth and was buried on Dec 2 1837 and William was baptised the following day in St Mary's Winsford. This indicates that William would not have forced Mary to give up her son.
Caleb was not baptised at St Mary's Winsford nor at Exton so it is rather a mystery.
The Winsford Stevens are still around. The Cutcombe Stevens are a separate family. In the 1841 Census there is a William Stevens born in Winsford and another William Stevens born in Cutcombe. Each have a wife called Elizabeth. The Winsford William Stevens married Elizabeth Norman. They were C of E. The Cutcombe William Stevens married Elizabeth Hill. They were Methodists.
I think Tom Faggus is closely related to Brendan since the same surnames appear on his tree. I have drawn up a family tree for Colin Stevens which just lacks the maiden name of the wife of George Hayes born in Exford in 1800. Colin Stevens's first cousin Wendy (father Henry stevens) married Edward Schofield (born in Yorkshire).
Just need to get the last name filled in then I can frame it and give the tree to Colin. Mary Hayes was born in Twitchen which is in Devon so the records are not online. So a bit stuck.
1911 census is now free for a while on Ancestry.
Hope this helps.
Annis.

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