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Thanks LiamJDB,

I haven't any idea about marriage custom.  To me they either married or they didn't. Just like today.

Thanks for your input though because my lack of knowledge could lead me to make wrong assumptions.


Jules

Thanks for your response, DKimberley,

if Grifin stated cycle maker but not who - where did you originally hear about the George L. Holyoake.

I am intrigued.

I have no information on George and Emma Holyoake. The only thing that I know for sure was that he had the confectioners shop.
I once found him in the UK Achives buying a cool drink manufacturing plant, for his shop.

Seems to have been a bit of a dabbler at things. His brother Francis was a chemist.

His Uncle Joseph Holyoake who was a JP in Warwickshire had a big factory which still stands today.

As Thomas and Joseph Holyoake snrs, had a manufacturing partnership, perhaps George did end up being around factories as a boy.

Jules

Hi Monica,

Its a tough subject. I know that you specified poem reading but perhaps my experience can help a bit.

When my bro died I spoke at his funeral. His death came hard to me as we were best friends as well as siblings.  I cried buckets for months afterwards.

He had struggled 2 years with cancer treatments and his death was a release from that.

I tried to concentrate on the thought that he was free from the suffering he went through.

I wrote and rewrote my little speech trying to talk of funny incidents that showed his personality in a good light, and I found a song he loved and read the words.  Not a sad song - because he wasn't a sad person.

His grieving teenagers and wife were sitting directly in front of me when I got up to speak.

Suddenly I found myself speaking straight to them.

I read my script as I knew what I wanted to say exactly, and didn't want to leave anything out from nerves.

My grieving audience were actually laughing and remembering the "good old days" of his childhood and early adulthood.
The tone of the service was changed and it became more a celebration of his life with others wanting to come up the front and tell a story about him as well.

At the wake we laughed and joked about those things unique to him personally. Sad hearts were lifted up instead of being saddened.
There is plenty of time for that in the coming months, as we all know.

Maybe you know some funny or unique little incidents from the workplace that her family have never heard which show your friend in a special way. You might be able to include one with your poem.

I also, like the others responding here, believe it is better to cry in the middle of it, if that's what your heart wants.
She is someone you all loved and will miss.  Tears fall copiously at funerals because the realization sets in that its a forever goodbye.

At my aunties funeral they played Time to say Goodbye. A beautiful song, but now, regardless of where I am (supermarket, car, restaurant) I burst into tears, when I hear it.

I know this is a funny little thing to put at the end, but sometimes if I take a Panadol tablet before something difficult, it calms me down a bit. A little trick my Dad taught me.

I hope it all goes well.

Thank you Alan,

I am a bit tardy with my reply as I have been engaged in Armstrong research and hadn't come back to Rootschat for a while.

I appreciate your effort in delivering the info to the Barr family that you knew.

It turns out to be a name much like Smith in England. There are many families and I was lucky that others had found the right family for me.!!

Julie

Thanks Trish,

It has been a happy day for me.  The person who has provided the pedigree file to FamilySearch was found posting on Rootsweb in 2008, with a contact email address
I emailed and within the hour had a response from this lady.

Her gggrandpa was the brother of Jean Calder and she has a lot of information including a letter written between the two siblings in 1847.

I found the pedigree file by putting in the name of Elizabeth Lindsay Barr born 1829 in FamilySearch, then opening up the pedigree file  that appeared.
I am adding these details here so that anyone searching in the future can follow my trail and end up finding the same person.

Even the marriage name is wrong as she is called Jane Barr when marrying James Armstrong Dodgson in 1851, when her actual name was Jean Barr.

If you ever wind up here searching for this family PM me for details.

I wouldn't have found this family with out your help Rootschatters so a big

                                      THANK YOU 
                                     
                                 to all who participated.

                                   Cheers

                                      Julie