Hi Hackstaple,
When spam starts to reach a massive level, the only solution is to complain about the problem with your ISP (Internet service provider).
Like many people in France, I have an email account with the national service called Wanadoo. And I send them spam complaints periodically at the following email address:
<abuse at wanadoo dot france>
Incidentally, you might notice the way I've just written this address. It's understandable by human readers, but could not be picked up easily by a robot.
;) Now, there's another thing that might be playing a role in the fact that you are apparently a prime target for Internet pranksters and gangsters. They might be interpreting your delightful profile image as an imperative button. ;)
William