RootsChat.Com
General => The Common Room => Topic started by: rocala on Saturday 11 May 24 17:55 BST (UK)
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Some time back, I received a message on my Ancestry account from a man who thought we might be related. This was based on the fact that he had the same surname as my great-grandmother, nothing more than that. I replied that I did not know of any connection between us.
A week went by, and then he appeared on my doorstep. I was taken aback to say the least. I said that it was a very bad time and that if I found anything relevant I would get in touch. He does not even live in my city.
I found the experience rather disturbing, and most people that I have spoken to agree. One however said that "it's not as if I am some frail old lady" and suggeted that I might have been more friendly.
What do people think, has anybody else experienced anything like this?
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My first reaction is how did he know where you live?
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I can ony assume he traced it via the phone book.
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I'm curious...how did he know your actual name, in order to find you in the phone book? Most people on Ancestry have user names.
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That's quite a scarey experience
Definitely an imposition at the least
It's not hard to find out who tree owners really are if they have grandparents names
Marriages and locations can be found
A lot of us use our real names . But I don't like the idea of someone turning up on doorstep
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I think it is very inappropriate and unacceptable behaviour for a stranger just to turn up on someone's doorstep.
If they really wanted to meet you I think they ought to have tried to arrange a mutually convenient day and time at a public venue such as a library, cafe or pub etc.
I don't agree with the person who told you that you should have been more friendly. It wasn't friendly of the person who just turned up. Male or female we have to be discerning and consider stranger danger. :-\
Also, I think that person sounds highly suspicious trying to make a connection with you going off such scant information as a mutual surname.
Hopefully, you will have seen the last of them. What a scary experience!
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I will admit "Guilty as Charged".
I am descended from a Peter WHANNELL (pronounced WONNELL), who had 3 sons and 1 daughter. Most Whannells spell their names differently - Winel, Wanel, Wonel, all with or without extra Ns and/or Ls. There is even a large branch called WINDMILL.
One day I was doing a Google search and found an Elector's Register with 4 WHANNELLs all in one property and only 18 miles from my front door.
The temptation was too much. I printed out a descendant tree from the original Whannell to me. Put it all on CD and a thumb drive and armed with photo ID, off I went.
I introduced myself with "Hi, I am descended from Peter Whannell of Ayr in Scotland and I think that we are related." The son called the father, who called the mother, who called the daughter. They had done some Family history, but had hit the proverbial brick wall.
Between the 5 of us we believe that the original Whannell had another son, but in 1922 the IRA burnt down the National Library and Records Office. No records at all - not even a name.
We still keep in touch - Christmas cards and I went to the daughter's wedding. Not quite the same, I know. But I had only 2 options - visit or write a letter. I chose to visit.
Regards
Chas
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A stranger who had already been told was unconnected to your tree then takes the trouble to track you down a week later - you have every right to be concerned. 😱😱
I wonder how the person who made the comment would have reacted in the same circumstances?
If he tries to contact you again in any way - I would be less than polite in my response. It's a form of stalking. I would also ensure you record any details you have of him
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Thanks everyone for your input. I would like to remind people, that there is a lot of info out there in cyberspace. Recently I had a strange and worrying hunch about an ex-partner of mine. Strange in that we had split up 37 years previously.
Within half an hour, using Ancestry, Facebook and a few other sites, I knew that she had died and when. I knew her address too. Also that her brother and father had died, who she had married, and where she had worked. I also knew where her sister worked and the names of her grandchildren.
I am an amateur, imagine what a pro can do.
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My first connection was by telephone, from then on it was correspondence and then meeting, at their request, I was extremely lucky once I proved the connection, no way would I turn up on someone's doorstep
LM
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I don't see how this is all that much different from having random religious proselytizers show up at the front gate. This happens to me about once every six weeks. I don't know them, I didn't invite them to call on me and I'm uninterested in the product they're pushing. I don't consider them a threat, just an annoyance. All in all, I'd rather have someone show up to see if we might be somehow related.
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I think the point here is that having made contact online & been told there was no connection - he then went out of his way to research & find out the posters name & address. Bearing in mind he didn’t even live in the same city - I find that spooky
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Thanks Carole, that is it exactly.
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He should not have visited without invitation, I guess he might have been to keen and didn't think, let it rest now, it won't happen again I am sure, never in all my years have I heard of anyone just randomly knocking on someone door to make a contact.
Enjoy your Sunday everyone
LM.
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Maybe just looking to see if in fact there was a family resemblance? :D
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Having contacted family members who have info yet are not interested in our family tree and won’t share documentary evidence ,my frustration might have allowed me to be daft and not cautious!
The last daughter to be married from the family home had all the papers and trinkets ,photos etc, as later she had grandad living with her - but will her children share ?
No ,not interested-nothing I can do,but what a pity as they are in a way limiting remembrance .
Viktoria.