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General => The Common Room => The Lighter Side => Topic started by: Top-of-the-hill on Sunday 10 September 23 17:56 BST (UK)
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I find these lists in local newspapers fascinating, especially as I have always lived in this area and have done a fair bit of history research on it, so I know a lot of the names. I have just been reading the report of an upper class one in a village church, father a Lieut. Col. and past master of the local hunt, groom a captain in the West Kents. Eight bridesmaids!
The gift list runs to nearly 2 columns, and I ask myself what on earth they did with it all. Apart from the very close family, most of the gifts are quite basic; local doctor, mirror; Mrs M-C, wastepaper basket; landowner, cruet; Lord and Lady L, umbrella. There are some more interesting things from some and many more dull things from (probably) the poorer people. (And at least 2 sets of fish knives and forks ::))
And being a well brought up girl, did she have to write thank-you notes to them all?
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THE BOOK OF ETIQUTTE, by Lady Troubridge (1926) says:
"Wedding presents should be acknowledged promptly by letter."
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I would not have made a list.
People did not have a lot of money ,so I left it to them, but if asked ,as at the
Nursery School where I trained I asked for a tea set, there were a lot of staff so a modest contribution would have been ample .
Got two sets of cutlery, another tea set from my husband’s staff.
Sheets, a bedspread,a biscuit barrel, a bedside rug ( only one :D)
A bread bin, lace tablecloth,another bedspread- candle wick, towels.
Two kitchen chairs , a second hand kitchen table,a coffee table from my husband’s brother and sister.
A table lamp.
Can’t remember anything else.
Have one or two items still.
Things for ordinary people were much more modest,a nice afternoon tea with ham and chicken,salad, bread and butter .
Trifle and fancy cakes.
No alcohol as it was in the Church hall.
Lots if cups of tea.
Well it was. a good job not much was spent as it only lasted 58 years.
Viktoria.
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This couple were lent the "big house" for the reception, I suppose it was even bigger than the Old Rectory!
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When my mother in law married in 1937 her bridesmaid - also her younger sister - took her to Woolworth and gave her £5 to spend on home essentials.
I still have the Rolling Pin, Mixing Bowl and teaspoons she bought. My sisters in law have a number of items too.
A very practicle present and good old Woolies for value for money.
Dorrie
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Our list was made rather in hope than expectation, however fifty eight years and six days down the line and we have just this minute had an apple crumble cooked in the indestructible Pyrex dish, and used the same cutlery. :)
Mike
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Ah yes - Pyrex dishes! We had a few of those. There are still 2 at the back of the kitchen cupboard, but they don't get much use, if any.
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We got two pyrex dishes. They're still going strong after more than 50 years, and I use them every week.
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I didn't make a list as I found it embarrassing, if asked, I said towels or table linen. I also got Pyrex dishes, one oval with a flower decoration and the other had pale blue stripes, both had clear lids. I was given two canteens of cutlery, one of which had the king's pattern designed handles which were Viner's stainless steel. I still have some pieces of it. My son now has the Seiko carriage clock that is still going strong.
My Grandma knitted me 3 dish cloths and 3 floor cloths
Carol
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I still use the Oneida cutlery, but then it doesn't wear out! I have just remembered that I rather fancied a design of cutlery that was too expensive, then not long afterwards I saw it in the V. and A. I think it was Alveston, and I could now buy a 6 person canteen on-line for £1000. ::)
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Although I also find the list of presents in old newspapers interesting, I'm sglad that tradition died out, it must have been very embarrassing for the guests who could only afford a very modest item.
Back in 1960 we didn't have a list, if asked, we said we would appreciate small practical items, as we had years ahead of frequent moves with the Army. I still have many of things we received, including those from our family Doctor and the minster who married us, they have both been in almost daily use all these years.
I do still have a list of of all the gifts we received and who gave them to us.
In all our many moves we only had one breakage, and not a wedding present.
Although we had quite a big wedding, like Victoria the reception was in the Church hall, so no alcohol. Things would be different today as the Church allows alcohol.
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I too still have a few items of cutlery from the sets, the knives are good for buttering.
The lace tablecloth is going strong ,albeit mended in places .
When we got engaged we started buying Pyrex ware, a dinner service in
blue ..
Each week we would get a plate ,or casserole/ tureen dish/ sauce boat etc.
There is not one piece left !
The biscuit barrel( now used as a chunky vase, )
I have remembered ,place mats, none left though.
Viktoria.
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I still have wooden spoons in use, the kitchen broom from my cousin, and a couple of pyrex bowls from my nan. An ornament from an aunt is still going, but my slow cooker, whilst still working, was not as efficient as a more up to date one, so it has been retired to the loft. Still keeping as a spare, just in case.
Three storage pots we received as an engagement gift have been passed onto my son.
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There sits in a drawer a fine linen tablecloth which was given as a wedding gift. The gift was passed on within the recipient's family and eventually was given to a neighbour (as a gift). It has since been inherited and, as far as I can remember has lain in the drawer, largely undisturbed since then. The person who originally gave the wedding gift died in 1813.
S_L
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Wow, what a long history.
It would have been lovely had the various brides’ names and dates been embroidered on one corner.
A bit like Welsh quilts,, a very few have the various patches with name and date of the owner of the dress or whatever that the patch came from .
Perhaps though that was specific to one area .
Viktoria.
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I've just noticed the dateline in title of the post...it's 40years too early for me. ;D
I did write thank you cards from the list that I made of who bought what.
Carol
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The gift list runs to nearly 2 columns, and I ask myself what on earth they did with it all. Apart from the very close family, most of the gifts are quite basic; local doctor, mirror; Mrs M-C, wastepaper basket; landowner, cruet; Lord and Lady L, umbrella. There are some more interesting things from some and many more dull things from (probably) the poorer people. (And at least 2 sets of fish knives and forks ::))
If the bride and groom have both been living at home, and manage to move into an unfurnished house together, whether rented or bought, surely they will need everything, because they may have just about nothing? They may have had some opportunity to save and have a drawer set aside, but you cannot get many waste paper baskets in there.
When we were first married (in the 1970's) we were in furnished accommodation initially, decided that it was too expensive, moved into unfurnished, and slept on the floor.
If a list is made by the couple, as distinct from a list recording what has been given, then one hopes that receiving 2 sets of fish knives is avoided.
I was reading a wedding list from 1909 where the couple received 6 inkstands. I happened to show the list to my daughter, who said, 'what's an ink-stand?'
They also got 2 cigarette boxes and 2 cigarette cases.
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Well we each left our family home, no student flats etc so had absolutely nothing except a fruit bowl my other half had won in
the Inter Church Billiard matches.
Green glass a bit like uranium glass ,but not that.
I have it still.
Viktoria.
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Well we each left our family home, no student flats etc so had absolutely nothing except a fruit bowl my other half had won in
the Inter Church Billiard matches.
Green glass a bit like uranium glass ,but not that.
I have it still.
Viktoria.
I know the feeling, 58 years ago we left the reception and back to the tiny flat we had paid a months rent on.
Empty apart from an ancient cooker and a stone sink, we had a new mattress on a second hand bed and about £2 between us, but we survived, baked beans and sausage go a long way :)
Mike
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This sounds a bit “twee”, but we had everything to work together for, the only way was forward, very gradually we got a modest home together.
Our luxury was a few shillings left at the end of the week before that week’s pay packet was opened on Friday to allot to mortgage ,insurance ,food, gas and electricity, rates ,coal etc. for the coming week’s expenses.
We physically held in our hands what there was.
You were really daft if you went beyond that .
We were a success, !- all paid and a little bit left over .
A very little bit I must add.
Viktoria.
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We are hijacking this thread, but you will no doubt remember “the man from the pru”, in my case it was the man from the Pearl, who saw our engagement notice in the local rag, who persuaded me to take out a life insurance policy, later I was able to borrow for a mortgage on it, best thing I ever did, twenty five years later it was mine ;), and my £3000 pound semi was worth £50,000.
Mike
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Good advice Mike.
I think we did have a modest list which I don't think was stuck to, didn't matter really, yes, the Pyrex bowls in all sizes, i am left with the largest which is a mixing bowl, 59 years old, wonder what will, happen to it eventually, that might be all that is left from our wedding gifts apart from a clock from my manager.
The problem I think nowadays is most of our children come from comfortable homes and wouldn't dream of lowering their standards, my home was comfortable but we had to share a loo for starters and no bathroom, so youngsters want it all right from the start and who can blame them.
LM
LM
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I think a big change for lots of couples these days, is that we tend to live together before marriage. I lived with my husband before marriage and we had all the kitchen stuff, household stuff we needed. Well, that I needed, as my husband doesn't cook. ;D
Also, these days, I think kitchen stuff just isn't as expensive relative to people's budgets? I can pick up new plates etc at the supermarket for not a lot of money. They are not fine china of course, but they are good enough for us. I not sure that sort of stuff was around as much, further back.
Most people I know getting married say no gifts, charity donations, or they ask for money towards a holiday or something.
We asked for for no gifts, but if people wanted to, they could donate to a charity we chose.
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"not sure that sort of stuff was around as much, further back."
Well, there were plastic plates back then (1960s) and 'Melmac" plates. We had Melmac. I have a nice photo of my grandparents with their cheap dime store, China plates and teacups.
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Our list only went to people who asked what we wanted, one rather well off aunt gave us a teapot that had insulated lid, the sugar bowl and milk jug didn't match but we had to be grateful for whatever we were given,
Happy days
LM.
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After we became engaged, our Christmas and Birthday gifts were all practical ones for our "Bottom Drawer" A toaster and a kettle are things I remember. OH was in the Navy and would bring home things for the house that we were buying.
Carol
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Every week where I worked there would be a raffle, can't tell you how many times I won but it all went into the bottom drawer, one item was a set of 6 babycham classes, kept them for years and not so long ago gave them to a charity shop, silly me, should have kept them.
LM
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You should have kept them - could have put fancy desserts in there?
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You are right, sometimes have " shoulda, woulda coulda feelings" but what is gone is gone.
LM
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Every week where I worked there would be a raffle, can't tell you how many times I won but it all went into the bottom drawer, one item was a set of 6 babycham classes, kept them for years and not so long ago gave them to a charity shop, silly me, should have kept them.
LM
‘‘Twas brandy and babycham in one of those glasses that nearly put an end to our relationship before it had got going, fortunately mazi’s mum was understanding as I assisted her in lifting the somewhat inebriated body over the doorstep.
Nobody bothered about underage drinking in those days.
Mike
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We got two pyrex dishes. They're still going strong after more than 50 years, and I use them every week.
We also got a set of four Pyrex dishes with lids in ‘79.
Three of each are still going strong, but annoyingly the broken dish and lid are not of the same pair.
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one item was a set of 6 babycham classes, kept them for years and not so long ago gave them to a charity shop, silly me, should have kept them.
Don't feel sorry! At my local auction house last month "Five Vintage Mid Century Babycham Glasses" brought £12. Then they take out their commission. :(
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At the time they were 99p each when I gave them to the charity shop but they were welcome to anything they made, can't keep erything, I know there will be a skip outside my house eventually
My grandson bought me a dolphin from Florida, I have today put it on his shelf, all the rubbish on there he might not see it for weeks but I am gradually trying to give things back to the giver, then I know where they have gone and can do what they like sith them, also photographs I have I am giving them to the families concerned.
LM
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I still use the Oneida cutlery, but then it doesn't wear out! I have just remembered that I rather fancied a design of cutlery that was too expensive, then not long afterwards I saw it in the V. and A. I think it was Alveston, and I could now buy a 6 person canteen on-line for £1000. ::)
Oh go on, treat yourself, I am sure you deserve it.
When we left GB, to live in Belgium we were asked by my husband’s office staff what would we like ,so we asked for some Stainless Steel cutlery ( the wedding sets were a bit grotty by then - plated forks- ugh,) so got six steak knives and six forks ,quite expensive in those days.
Use them every day .
That was 1965.Still in excellent condition.
But not wedding gift of course,
Viktoria.
I added tea and dessert poons , cake forks etc ,SS was new here but just ordinary in Belgium .
The older generation of English women who had married Belgian soldiers convalescing here and gone with them on repatriation in 1918, were really old fashioned and sticklers in keeping up “ English afternoon tea” .
It was nice and Belgian ladies copied although they were wonderful entertainers.
I never got used to them saying “ Thankyou” for “ No “ when asked would they like more cake etc.
I never see the coloured Pyrex we bought ,in charity shops .
Perhaps the colour ,which was applied,not in the glass ,compromised its qualities.
There was another kind of ovenproof glass, not as good as Pyrex, can’t remember —- Phoenix?
I bought a twelve place cutlery setting for special times like Christmas when there would be ten of us ,got the grandchildren their own child size sets which Flash Harry used and “The one baby demolition squad “Kyra will coming in to soon.
Although why use a spoon when one chip can aid in eating a good amount of ketchup!- As at my grandson’ s -Flash Harry ‘s and his mummy ‘s and my
combined fish and chip birthday party in an Italian fish and chip restaurant in Suffolk named ‘ THE CODFATHER” .All four May birthdays, Kyra the odd one out but we let her come for her amusement value .
I digress ,as usual!
Viktoria.
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We got married in 1982. Wedding lists were not really that common in our neck of the woods then. Couples didn't tend to live together beforehand either. My mother was dead against the idea of wedding gift lists ('folk should take what they get and be grateful') and my parents would have gone into orbit if we had lived together!
I remember being so excited each time I got a gift to open - we had the traditional present showing for anyone who wanted to come, which meant the house being clean and tidy for about a month every day before the wedding, plus a supply of homebakes and sandwiches.
I have many of my wedding presents still, it gives me pleasure to remember the people who gifted them. Sadly my groom is no longer here, so large gatherings no longer happen for the lovely dinner set and cutlery canteen, not to mention the glassware, to be used.
Within only a few years lists became standard and living together became the norm. I don't suppose the brides coming after got quite as much pleasure opening parcels as I did.
I still have some items belonging to my Mum and Dad, which they received as wedding presents in 1955.
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My twin brother has a lovely canteen of cutlery and a clock that we're my parent's wedding gifts , 1937, I have a crystal milk jug and sugar bowl that never comes out now, 1937, got other bits but can't date them for sure.
Will be interesting if others go back as far as 1937, a challenge!!
LM.
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Country quite
Even though we got married 1964 when perhaps couples had begun to live together, 2 I knew were pregnant, I couldn't have done that to my parents, no criticism on anyone else who did,
LM
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Country quite
Even though we got married 1964 when perhaps couples had begun to live together, 2 I knew were pregnant, I couldn't have done that to my parents, no criticism on anyone else who did,
LM
We also married in 1964. We had known each other for a couple of months and I had just received my sailing date for my migration to NZ. He asked me not to go to NZ but to go to London with him instead, and get married. I said OK. I rang my Dad to tell him and was asked "do you mean you've got to?" - response over my shoulder was "well if she has, it's got nothing to do with me"!
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;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D,
I have one of my parent’s wedding gifts .in 1932.
A silver plated three tier cake stand with three Wedgwood plates
of beautiful pheasants.
The plates are octagonal with a blue stippled and gold border with the pheasants in the middle . I believe they are called Liverpool Birds.
The stand came out atChristmas with mince pies, chocolate biscuits and fingers of Christmas cake.
From my paternal Grandmother’s sister.
My sister has a lovely oak, hand made bedding chest ,made by someone where Mum worked, joinery was his hobby, in natural oak ,just waxed.
Given by the other office girls ,although in 1932Mum was 36.
She and Dad could not marry before that as he was still ill from WW1 .
Viktoria.
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As you say Louisa Maude, no criticism just a passing comment.
I can remember my Mum ,when I was old enough - pointing out women who
“ Had to get married “— “and do you know she will never know if he really loved her or just got married because they had to!”
Oooer!I did not want that nor to be spoken about years and years later by other women who didn’t have to get married!
It wasn’t just my mother either ,one woman only ever addressed the girl or woman by their maiden name!
What a blooming cheek!
There were very good contraceptives though, one was my future mother in law the other was my father!
The third was my boy friend was really decent. No doubt his mother’s principles instilled into him.
Wonder when marriage became the norm?
Possibly when some big butch caveman wanted to be sure who he was leaving his best spear to!
Bad weather forecast this week folks, really heavy rain and high winds.
Cheerio, look after yourselves.
Viktoria.
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..one woman only ever addressed the girl or woman by their maiden name!
What a blooming cheek!
My gran only ever referred to women by their maiden names. Doris Woods had her 50-odd year marriage to Joe Holmes ignored.
It was only when I started researching that I figured out who most of these women were!
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So did my mother - I think it is pretty normal if you have known the woman all your life.
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So did my mother - I think it is pretty normal if you have known the woman all your life.
I too think it was normal and when I started researching I knew from my mother chatting to her sisters,who had married whom :-)
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We got married in 1967, but it was rather strange ........... we'd known each other since 1959 as good friends. Then OH got a position at a university in the US, only for a few months, but it must have shaken us both ........... he was due to leave the UK at the end of January 1967. we got engaged just before Christmas 1966 :D
That sure shook everyone up, as no-one had any thoughts that it might happen. He finally left the UK at the end of February, and we planned the wedding via phone and letters .. ni email in those days!
We didn't have a list, because I had been rather upset when my landlady's future daughter-in-law had issued a list in summer 1966 that contained items such as Refrigerator, Stove, etc etc.
There literally was nothing that I could afford, either from the money point of view or desire, as they weren't friends.
If anyone asked, I gave a selection of ideas. OH's mother told us to choose our own china and she would pay for it ......... we went to Brown's in Chester and bought a new design by Royal Doulton, MorningStar. It was about half the price of their usual lines, and was aimed at young marrieds. We managed to buy a service for 12, tea service for 12, 2 tureens and 2 larger serving platters, plus sugar bowl, milk jug and 2 gravy bowls for less than mum-i-l had offered.
We still have almost all of that set, used every day for over 56 years. One large plate and a sugar bowl have been broken, but replaced, plus 6 extra dinner plates bought from a shop specialising in replacements. Many of the dinner plates have lost their pattern but everything else is still in good condition.
We got a canteen of cutlery, fish knives and forks, 1 set of steak knives and matching forks and 1 set of steak knives.
Lots of stainless steel ....... serving dishes, teapot, etc etc.
We still have almost everything we were given and most of it is still in use.
Sorry, dinner calls!
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Picking up where I left off ..............
We still have almost all of our wedding gifts, although not all of them are in current use (eg, the stainless steel serving dishes), as we don't entertain much these days. We still have the original cutlery set, but have bought another larger set and been given a 4-piece IKEA set that we use. Daughter is going to have to sort that out later!
My parents had a very quiet wedding back in 1928 as her brother had died only 6 weeks earlier, her parents insisted that the wedding went ahead, so Mum was married in a lilac coloured dress as that was considered more suitable under the circumstances. They never mentioned any wedding gifts!
OH's parents were married in 1936, didn't have a list, and not many of their relations could attend as it was in the middle of the Depression and they couldn't afford to travel. As a result, they received about 36 linen tablecloths :D :D
The reason ..... easy and cheap to send by Royal Mail!
Mother-in-law said they all came in useful .......... packages not opened and stored, then most were given away as wedding gifts to friends and relations who married during the war and into the 1950s'.
My daughter married in 1999, set up a Registry at one of the major Canadian stores, the alternative over here to giving out a list. You just go online, look up the Registry listing and choose what you want to give, although you don't have to stick to it! Then the store notifies the couple that such-and-such has been bought and is waiting pick-up. It was set up in a hurry, and when daughter showed it to me after her fiance had gone back home, I pointed out that everything listed was pretty expensive, and yet she had complained only a few months ealrler that her friend's list didn't have anything on it that daughter could afford ..... they were all recent graduates without full time jobs. Four of the friends joined forces and bought a requested set of 4 glasses. So, she added some cheaper items that were more of everyday use than special.
A nephew and his bride had been living together for years and basically were fully fitted out. They did put out a short Registry List but said they would prefer everyone to give cash so they could pay for their honeymoon in Australia. I didn't quite like that idea, so we bought some pans from the registry. Never got a Thank You for them :(
We've since inherited some stuff from OH's parents, that came down to them from farming families in Wales and Westmorland. The history of some is lost, but I have a suspicion that some of the silver came as wedding presents, for example, a pair of silver serving spoons hall marked as by the Bateman's who flourished in the 18th century.
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I perhaps dud not explain properly, which was if a girl HAD to get married those nasty older women never let her forget that by never using her married name ,but only her maiden name ,that was what I though unkind and really cheeky and spiteful .
One”Grande Dame” pillar of the MU, was the worst offender.
The woman she so insulted was a Sunday School teacher as was her lovely daughter ,much kinder than the one who was so spiteful.
She was the local Hyacinth Bucket.
My mother in law “ Knew her when she had nowt!”
I used to pretend I did not know who she meant if ever the maiden name cropped up, “ Sorry , I don’t know who you mean, —— Oh, Mrs.——- ,why didn’t you say that at first.”
People did still use maiden names I agree ,with no malicious intent ,in our area it would be “Mary Jones, as was, ‘er who married Timmy Smith “ .
Viktoria.
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we went to Brown's in Chester and bought a new design by Royal Doulton, MorningStar. It was about half the price of their usual lines, and was aimed at young marrieds. We managed to buy a service for 12, tea service for 12, 2 tureens and 2 larger serving platters, plus sugar bowl, milk jug and 2 gravy bowls for less than mum-i-l had offered.
We had coffee cups in Morning Star on our list (1970's). Not tiny coffee cups, but a reasonable size. On Saturday we had a celebration in the garden and used the Morning Star cups, amongst others, to serve the afternoon tea in. In fact, there were also my grandparents wedding (1913) teaset cups, saucers and plates available, but quite a few people wanted mugs as they had 'funny' tea e.g. Rooibos from a teabag so a teacup was a little small for that.
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Heirlooms Chempat 1913, you must have looked after them well
LM
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Teacups seem to be too small for modern usage; they need to be used with a teapot, so they can be refilled. I discovered this when I thought I should really use my display china - they really don't work with a teabag!
Modern mugs are so pretty and some even come with a saucer.
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I perhaps dud not explain properly, which was if a girl HAD to get married those nasty older women never let her forget that by never using her married name ,but only her maiden name ,that was what I though unkind and really cheeky and spiteful .
One”Grande Dame” pillar of the MU, was the worst offender.
The woman she so insulted was a Sunday School teacher as was her lovely daughter ,much kinder than the one who was so spiteful.
She was the local Hyacinth Bucket.
My mother in law “ Knew her when she had nowt!”
I used to pretend I did not know who she meant if ever the maiden name cropped up, “ Sorry , I don’t know who you mean, —— Oh, Mrs.——- ,why didn’t you say that at first.”
People did still use maiden names I agree ,with no malicious intent ,in our area it would be “Mary Jones, as was, ‘er who married Timmy Smith “ .
Viktoria.
As we know, bridal pregnancies was very, very common. But still probably did get some stigma as well. Some wed early in pregnancy and others wed quite a way into pregnancy. Makes me wonder if the mother in laws or others still referred to them by their maiden names.
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Heirlooms Chempat 1913, you must have looked after them well
LM
Only got them about 10 years ago - my grandmother lived with an uncle, the uncle had no children, I got the cups.
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My late father voiced his scorn at the then modern fashion of giving their friends a list of wedding gifts they would like. Then disbelieve a decade or so later when a pal had gone into a large store, together with a store assistant, had chosen the gifts she would like and the assistant made a note of the items that would be ticked off every time a guest bought something from the list.
I think he'd forgotten that he and my mother used to regale us with the time they received five toast racks as wedding presents :-)
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I perhaps dud not explain properly, which was if a girl HAD to get married those nasty older women never let her forget that by never using her married name ,but only her maiden name ,that was what I though unkind and really cheeky and spiteful .
One”Grande Dame” pillar of the MU, was the worst offender.
The woman she so insulted was a Sunday School teacher as was her lovely daughter ,much kinder than the one who was so spiteful.
She was the local Hyacinth Bucket.
My mother in law “ Knew her when she had nowt!”
I used to pretend I did not know who she meant if ever the maiden name cropped up, “ Sorry , I don’t know who you mean, —— Oh, Mrs.——- ,why didn’t you say that at first.”
People did still use maiden names I agree ,with no malicious intent ,in our area it would be “Mary Jones, as was, ‘er who married Timmy Smith “ .
Viktoria.
Wonder how they referred to the husbands of these “shamed” married women. After all, it takes two to tango. Am so happy to live now, even though sexism is alive and well, it is not as bad as it used to be.
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When we married, my slightly older friend, who had married about four years before, and had two lovely little girls, and lived 40 miles away, bought an "Ali Baba" style laundry basket, and each week when she went shopping, bought one or two small but useful items to pop in it. She was hard up at the time, but also recently enough married to recall the little things - dusters, draining rack, tea towels, peg bag and (wooden) clothes pegs, etc. Really thoughtful. She lugged it in when she arrived before me got our house, prior to marriage, from her little car.
-She included two heavy glass ashtrays. When I thanked her, as said neither of us ever smoked, and she replied she did, and would visit, and also that they could be handy to throw at each other at times!
Still got those unused ashtrays, under small plant pots in the back porch - and oh, I do miss my friend who died three years back!
TY
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I like the humour of your friend, she must have been a character
LM
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Two of mine married in June 1920 but had known each other for years beforehand, and I found a Christmas postcard dated from one to the other in 1914.
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Talking of postcards , I have post cards here dated early 1900's, in those days you could post a card and say you will be at mama's for evening tea, it would arrive by lunch time post, how times change.
LM
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My parents got married in 1953. One wedding present they received was an electric two bar heater, but electricity had not yet come to their area. Same heater is still in working order and is used occasionally.
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We married in 1968. Wedding gift lists had not yet come into fashion, but I do remember that we received quite a lot of stainless steel items, especially what we called "nut dishes" - small dishes from hard-up friends. My parents give us a canteen of silver plate cutlery and my aunt a Wedgwood tea and dinner service (she was the wealthy one in the family and a connoisseur of fine china). My husband's parents gave us a fridge. The cutlery and china are still with us and are still intact, though rarely used now.
From said aunt I inherited a load of table linen, mostly embroidered or linen and lace. What does one do with such items now? Traycloths make quite nice covers for bedside tables, but does anyone use them to line trays nowadays?
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My great grandfather remarried in October 1931 after his first wife died in March 1930. So a true 1930s wedding. He was a coal miner. He became a widower for the last time in April 1957. Died in 1968.
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My cousin who married in 1966 was given a dust bin! Inside were toilet rolls, a toilet brush, washing up liquid, tea towels, dust pan and brush, dish cloths etc. etc. After all these years I can still remember how amused and pleased they both were.
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We married in 1968. Wedding gift lists had not yet come into fashion, but I do remember that we received quite a lot of stainless steel items, especially what we called "nut dishes" - small dishes from hard-up friends. My parents gave us a canteen of silver plate cutlery and my aunt a Wedgwood tea and dinner service (she was the wealthy one in the family and a connoisseur of fine china). My husband's parents gave us a fridge. The cutlery and china are still with us and are still intact, though rarely used now.
From said aunt I inherited a load of table linen, mostly embroidered or linen and lace. What does one do with such items now? Traycloths make quite nice covers for bedside tables, but does anyone use them to line trays nowadays?
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We married in 1968. Wedding gift lists had not yet come into fashion, but I do remember that we received quite a lot of stainless steel items, especially what we called "nut dishes" - small dishes from hard-up friends. My parents gave us a canteen of silver plate cutlery and my aunt a Wedgwood tea and dinner service (she was the wealthy one in the family and a connoisseur of fine china). My husband's parents gave us a fridge. The cutlery and china are still with us and are still intact, though rarely used now.
From said aunt I inherited a load of table linen, mostly embroidered or linen and lace. What does one do with such items now? Traycloths make quite nice covers for bedside tables, but does anyone use them to line trays nowadays?
Sorry, I only wanted to correct a spelling error and somehow managed to repeat my message several times! :'(
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Join the club ,My errors are monumental,such errors of spelling, really a bent fore finger —- arthritis !
Well that is my excuse.
Been invited out ,a lady at church is organising a meal at a nearby
restaurant ,a really nice one, for the ladies who slogged away at the Jig Saw Festival, ( still do not know how much it made ) .
I have been made so welcome back, as I could not really go during my eye treatment ,but that also coincided with Covid , so a good time to stay in,but it is lovely ro be back .
Photo of Kyra in her clogs from her Daddy, my grandson. , she loves them .
Paddies when they have to come off ,like bath and bedtime.
I too have oodles of lace cloths ,” Duchess sets” too, ie a large centre mat and two small ones for on your dressing table .
Small ones for under vases etc, tea cloths ,tray cloths .
Such exquisite antique lace,certainly from the 1800’s.
I always wanted to own one of those perfume sorays, with a big squeeze thingy covered in a silken mesh.
My Dad’s birthday today ,born 1897, died 1974 .
We were in Belgium ,my husband had to make a trip to head office ,and of icourse went to my Dad’s , was shocked at how ill he was and begged him to go back to Belgium so we could look after him ,but as we were in any case getting to England and Manchester for Easter,under a week later he did not travel back with my husband .
He died a two days later ,three days before we got there .
I got all Mum’s stuff, she had died 17 years before.
Took a couple of parcels in for a new neighbour ,he came for them later and said if my son needed any help with heavy stuff to just ask and he would gladly help ,as he too works at home .
So that is really kind.
It has been like Winter here today ,really cold.
So I am wearing my little Damart Thermal thingies,— chemises?
Well match nearly over, 32-6, for Wales.
Kitchen to bed and a hard crossword in bed or a read of “ Notes from a Small Island “.Bill Bryson.
Night night .
Viktoria.
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Enjoy the book Viktoria. I find him a very amusing author. My mother in law had one of his books and I picked it up at random and laughed out loud immediately and bought myself a copy. It was the Walk in the Woods one.
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Yes I have laughed a lot already!
Just put crockery and cutlery away ,a knife I use for various things is the only item left from the two identical cutlery sets we got as Wedding presents from two aunties.So no idea which set - Auntie R ‘s or Auntie E’s!
Well not much news ,hope all are well .
Cheerio.Viktoria.
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I have remembered another wedding gift, a set of antimaccassers!
Those things that went on the back of arm chairs and settees so , well originally Macassar oil would not spoil the fabric.
Later Brilliantine I suppose.
Ooooh “ The Brilliantine Boys” sportsmen who used it to have very shiny hair and every hair in place !
Don’t think Fred Truman used it, if he did it failed! ;D
We re in for some gale force winds and torrential rain it seems tonight and tomorrow morning and I need to get my prescriptions in !
Saw some photographs which had been found in Manchester ,on TV, it was hoping they could be identified, mainly buildings, one looked like the church my husband’s family attended, the email address was so quick I did not manage to get it and the article was not on the latest news.
The church was deconsecrated and used by the University ,a quite unusual style and building methods made it rather special.
Rather Venetian.
Managed a garden tidy ,it is brown bin week so lots if thinning out and loppings to go ,managed to get them all in the bin.
Well a bit earlier to bed as if the promised storm Agnes is as fierce as forecast
there will be a lot of noise and all a bit worrying.
Cheerio, look after yourselves.
Viktoria.
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Viktoria
I remember cricketer Denis Compton starring in the Brylcreem adverts. My father also used Brylcreem and was always in trouble with my mother for marking the back of armchairs, so we had to have antimacassars in our house.
Brylcreem is still on sale, but now they advertise "hair styling products" of all kinds!
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Yes, Brylcreem was a brand of Brilliantine,.
When hair lacquer came out for girls, gone were the days of he running his fingers through her hair , ———he would have had to go to A&E and would probably never play the piano again !
Yuk, such a harsh sticky mess.
Well the promised rain has started ,I have just picked the Bramley apples from my little tree, the heavy winds forecast would no doubt blow them down. So apple sauce for the freezer to do this afternoon.
Nice to have “ grown your own” for Christmas Day.
Viktoria.
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Of course, in Scotland, a woman was known by her maiden name for all of her life. Miss Mary Ross (the spinster) became Mary Ross Mrs John McLeod on marriage.
Happens far less these days. Mary Ross becomes Mary McLeod now.
Regards
Chas
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Apparently some French Huguenot women were known by the maiden name after marrying but not come across any in my tree yet, it may have been different after they emigrated. My ancestor born 1765 was the daughter of one of the last Huguenots to come to the UK in 1752.
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It's amazing how many wedding presents seem to have been put in a drawer and never used. All of our bedsheets and pillowcases are bought at auction or antique shop. From embroidered Victorian linen to fifties English and Irish cotton still in their original wrapper.
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Apparently some French Huguenot women were known by the maiden name after marrying but not come across any in my tree yet, it may have been different after they emigrated. My ancestor born 1765 was the daughter of one of the last Huguenots to come to the UK in 1752.
Belgian women keep their maiden name but use it after their married name hyphenated.
So Anna Marie Desmet becomes Anna Marie Molenaar- DeSmet on her marriage to Wim Molenaar.
Viktoria.
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Apparently some French Huguenot women were known by the maiden name after marrying but not come across any in my tree yet, it may have been different after they emigrated. My ancestor born 1765 was the daughter of one of the last Huguenots to come to the UK in 1752.
Belgian women keep their maiden name but use it after their married name hyphenated.
So Anna Marie Desmet becomes Anna Marie Molenaar- DeSmet on her marriage to Wim Molenaar.
Viktoria.
Very interesting, pity our UK women ancestors prior to July 1837 did not adopt this strategy. :-\
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The groom can choose to change his surname to that of his bride if that's what the couple want.
I have a groom who changed his name to that of his bride in order that he and their heirs could benefit from a Will.
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This has been a very interesting subject.
I agree it would be so easy to include the female's née name, but do we want it that easy, the thrill is in the chase.
LM
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The groom can choose to change his surname to that of his bride if that's what the couple want.
I have a groom who changed his name to that of his bride in order that he and their heirs could benefit from a Will.
When personal Coats of Arms were far more prevalent, a "Name and Arms" clause was often put in a will by an unmarried uncle. That way, his name and coat of arms would be perpetuated. In exchange for which he would leave them all his possessions.
Regards
Chas
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This has been a very interesting subject.
I agree it would be so easy to include the female's née name, but do we want it that easy, the thrill is in the chase.
LM
Yes that is true. I wonder how many 1800-1837 marriages that took place in England and Wales that are still as yet unindexed and/or online. Of course if the couple never married then there will be no record, saying that I have often found a banns or license issued, but no known subsequent marriage yet, and subsequent records show the couple stayed together.
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Coombs:
" I wonder how many 1800-1837 marriages that took place in England and Wales that are still as yet unindexed and/or online. Of course if the couple never married then there will be no record, saying that I have often found a banns or license issued, but no known subsequent marriage yet, and subsequent records show the couple stayed together."
My paternal gt grandparents married in a local church then walked across the road to their new home. However, the church of St. Peters, where they married was bombed during WWII, which means the church registers were destroyed too.
Unfortunately these islands are quite damp and many parish records kept in church cellars tended to disintigrate due to the damp.
Some areas of the UK kept to their old customs of "hand fasting" in place of a church marriage, which meant they didn't have to pay marriage licence taxes to the government. I have one church record where my ancestors apologised to the local church congregation for not being married in the kirk but had opted to make a marriage declaration to the local sheriff
I once saw a TV programme where a lady showed an interviewer a large book, stating that it had been in her family for generations and had originally belonged to her ancestor,, a parish vicar, who had kept the bmd records. This shows that there were some clergy who kept the parish record register, claiming it as their own personal possession.
Some C of E clergy were extremely sloppy when it came to keeping decent records. I have one parish in Yorkshire were the vicar kept minimum records such as "WS a son". By far the best kept records were written by the Ev. Lutheran clergy, who recorded parents, occupations and villages of the in-laws as well as the bride and groom plus names, occupations and villages of witnesses. Baptisms showed name of baby, names of parents and names of grandparents and witnesses, plus occupations where necessary.
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Apparently some French Huguenot women were known by the maiden name after marrying but not come across any in my tree yet, it may have been different after they emigrated. My ancestor born 1765 was the daughter of one of the last Huguenots to come to the UK in 1752.
Belgian women keep their maiden name but use it after their married name hyphenated.
So Anna Marie Desmet becomes Anna Marie Molenaar- DeSmet on her marriage to Wim Molenaar.
Viktoria.
Very interesting, pity our UK women ancestors prior to July 1837 did not adopt this strategy. :-\
Officially married wives were "chattels" (legally "owned" by their husbands).
Old customs are hard to break and I know that both my parents, together with their siblings and their parents always used the original surnames of their friends and relatives.
Due to hearing my mother and her siblings discussing their relatives and pals I was able to help the descendants of my grandma's step siblings; "The Bannisters". Additionally my mother's best school pal was a "Mary White" and I remember we visited Mary White in her first marital home and then in her new marital home. She was always "Mary White" and even though I met her husband I have no idea of his name :-)
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Coombs:
" I wonder how many 1800-1837 marriages that took place in England and Wales that are still as yet unindexed and/or online. Of course if the couple never married then there will be no record, saying that I have often found a banns or license issued, but no known subsequent marriage yet, and subsequent records show the couple stayed together."
My paternal gt grandparents married in a local church then walked across the road to their new home. However, the church of St. Peters, where they married was bombed during WWII, which means the church registers were destroyed too.
Unfortunately these islands are quite damp and many parish records kept in church cellars tended to disintigrate due to the damp.
Some areas of the UK kept to their old customs of "hand fasting" in place of a church marriage, which meant they didn't have to pay marriage licence taxes to the government. I have one church record where my ancestors apologised to the local church congregation for not being married in the kirk but had opted to make a marriage declaration to the local sheriff
I once saw a TV programme where a lady showed an interviewer a large book, stating that it had been in her family for generations and had originally belonged to her ancestor,, a parish vicar, who had kept the bmd records. This shows that there were some clergy who kept the parish record register, claiming it as their own personal possession.
Some C of E clergy were extremely sloppy when it came to keeping decent records. I have one parish in Yorkshire were the vicar kept minimum records such as "WS a son". By far the best kept records were written by the Ev. Lutheran clergy, who recorded parents, occupations and villages of the in-laws as well as the bride and groom plus names, occupations and villages of witnesses. Baptisms showed name of baby, names of parents and names of grandparents and witnesses, plus occupations where necessary.
There was a church in Norwich which did not survive Hitler's bombs either, I think the original registers were destroyed, but their bishops transcripts survive and I found a 1754 baptism of an elder sister of an ancestor who I always thought was the firstborn overall of the couple. The couple wed in October 1752, and my ancestor was born early 1756.
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I wonder if the” marriages “known as “ living over the brush “ were recorded at all.
In the 1800’s when gangs of“ Navvies” -men who dug the canals etc and moved around the country - met local girls who perhaps worked at the sites ,washing ,cooking etc,and wanted to live together went through a form of marriage on site and to seal their vows jumped over a sweeping brush together.?
The term ended up meaning any couple who lived together without the “benefit of clergy” .
Viktoria.
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I believe my ancestors George and Sarah Coombs may never have tied the knot. They "wed" about 1810-1812 if they had married. I think I can rule out the Axminster, Devon marriage in 1810 as Sarah Davey signed the register, and her handwriting is significantly different to my Sarah when she witnessed her elder sons marriage later on. And the 1810 woman was a widow, and my Sarah was born about 1790 so only about 19 in 1810. Not impossible but unlikely. The signatures make me think it is a different George Coombs to Sarah. My Sarah had her last child before civil reg and in the 1841 census in Marylebone she said "not born in county" and died just before the 1851 census.
My George Coombs died in 1831, and Sarah had her banns read for a remarriage in Marylebone in 1834. No marriage has ever been found but they remained together.
Maybe Sarah was not the marrying type, or was allergic to wedding cake. ;D