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General => The Common Room => Topic started by: steadyrollingman on Wednesday 16 February 22 15:47 GMT (UK)

Title: Heirlooms rant
Post by: steadyrollingman on Wednesday 16 February 22 15:47 GMT (UK)
It's rare that I watch stuff like Dickinson's Real Deal - only when it's local, in fact, when I've often seen some interesting items - but am I the only one who's increasingly infuriated by it?

I had to pull out all the stops just to get PHOTOS of all my great grandparents, and I've finally been able to acquire one object, a chipped teapot, that belonged to one of them. So when I see people selling heirlooms like their grandmother's own handmade quilt for £100 or whatever it was, it drives me mad. If I was their grandson watching their appearance on whatever YouTube is known as in 2072, I'd be thoroughly ashamed that my ancestors were so greedy or thoughtless for what is, let's be honest, usually nowhere near a life-changing sum, when it could have been handed down the generations – yes, my parents might not have been particularly in love with the item, but how did you know I wouldn't be?

I understand times are hard, but you never hear anyone say "I'm going to spend the money on food and rent" when they're asked what they'll be doing with it. It's always a party, meal, or weekend away, etc. Do you seriously need the money that badly?

I look at the few wills that are available from my almost exclusively solidly working class heritage and whenever I see something like "and to my beloved son Thomas I bequeath my silver tankard" I can only dream of owning something like this. Have even got ebay searches for a few unique items like this saved just in case.

Shame on anyone selling their heritage like this (well, unless it's an item that I want  :P )


Title: Re: Heirlooms rant
Post by: PrawnCocktail on Wednesday 16 February 22 16:06 GMT (UK)
There is always the other side of things - when my mother had to move into a Home, she was living in a 1930's semi which she had lived in for over 50 years. She was surrounded by her mother's furniture and ornaments, which had come from her mother's home (an even larger house). I live in a small 1970's semi 150 miles away, and couldn't take much. I had to watch her beautiful rosewood dining table and chairs go under the hammer for next to nothing. I'd have loved to have it, but even if we'd managed to get the table into my dining area (very doubtful), there's have been no room for the chairs! Same with her corner cupboard, her dinner sets, the chaise longue, and one of the paintings my grandmother painted (did manage to keep the smaller ones!) and loads of other stuff. The money went towards her care home fees. Broke my heart to see it all go, but needs must!

 :'(

I did manage to keep my great-granny's christening robe, all the family photos, and quite a few ornaments! Although what my daughter will do when it's her turn to go through it all, I don't know!
Title: Re: Heirlooms rant
Post by: Mike in Cumbria on Wednesday 16 February 22 16:10 GMT (UK)
1.  It's just stuff. Everything you own is a potential heirloom and none of your descendants would thank you for passing it all on to them.

2. Surely it's up to them what they do with it

3. I never watch that sort of programme. Give me a good Danish series about serial killers any day, so no I don't get infuriated. If you find yourself getting mad, there's an easy solution
Title: Re: Heirlooms rant
Post by: BumbleB on Wednesday 16 February 22 16:17 GMT (UK)
To my mind, we also have to take into consideration that we are "human beings" and not "robots" so everyone is different, and everyone has their own take on what is or is not valuable.  What anyone wants to spend their money on is their choice, as it is mine.  :)
Title: Re: Heirlooms rant
Post by: steadyrollingman on Wednesday 16 February 22 16:24 GMT (UK)
I did manage to keep my great-granny's christening robe, all the family photos, and quite a few ornaments! Although what my daughter will do when it's her turn to go through it all, I don't know!

Yeah, I mean, you can't keep everything obviously, unless it's being inherited by someone with very few possessions about to move into their own place. But there's 'stuff' and then there's 'heirlooms' like the paintings etc. For my part, I really like using the woodworking/mechanic tools I got from my granda, plus some of their cutlery and crockery, although those all hold sentimental value from my past use. But the ordinary / ubiquitous items of furniture they had, not so much. Mind, what was unremarkable to my 3x g-grandparents 200 years ago would still be very welcome...
Title: Re: Heirlooms rant
Post by: ThrelfallYorky on Wednesday 16 February 22 16:41 GMT (UK)
I use some of my grandfather's brushes and signwriting tools, an my OH uses some vey old handtools including a lovely Norris Plane. They're heirlooms to us.
TY
Title: Re: Heirlooms rant
Post by: Ayashi on Wednesday 16 February 22 17:20 GMT (UK)
The other problem with inheriting is knowing what is an heirloom and what isn't. Somewhere around the house we've got a cup belonging to my great-grandfather. I have no idea which cup it is. My mother doesn't like being asked questions and will clam up about it.

We've got a few heirlooms that I can identify. One of my mother's cousins is very focused on one area of our tree and when she found out we had the family bible her immediate response was "Why do you have it?" Err... because we are descended from them as well??

When my grandmother was a child she apparently sneaked into an archaeological dig in Bath and stole the finger off a Roman skeleton. Nobody knows what happened to it after she died.
Title: Re: Heirlooms rant
Post by: steadyrollingman on Wednesday 16 February 22 17:29 GMT (UK)
When my grandmother was a child she apparently sneaked into an archaeological dig in Bath and stole the finger off a Roman skeleton. Nobody knows what happened to it after she died.

 ;D Maybe she recognised the skeleton as her 22x great grandmother.

Yeah, the Bible thing - I used to search 'religiously' every morning on ebay for an old family bible that was of relevance. Got too time-consuming, especially when a lot of vendors didn't bother showing the inscription pages even though they'd mentioned it was filled in so I had to message them, so I had to give up -  but think I need to start again.
Title: Re: Heirlooms rant
Post by: BumbleB on Wednesday 16 February 22 17:39 GMT (UK)
On a different tack - I am wearing a pair of gold and diamond earrings which I found in items I inherited.  I have absolutely no idea where they came from - neither of my grandmothers wore earrings at all as far as I am aware.  But they must have come from someone, somewhere and I'm assuming within the family :-\   

Thinks!  - I must try and get a date for them!
Title: Re: Heirlooms rant
Post by: Viktoria on Wednesday 16 February 22 19:30 GMT (UK)
Bumble B ,if you can see the Hallmark post it ,I have a little book of gold and silver Hallmarks from 1544 - 1984.
Viktoria.
Title: Re: Heirlooms rant
Post by: melba_schmelba on Wednesday 16 February 22 21:52 GMT (UK)
I sort of understand where the OP is coming from, and have personal experience of knowledge of family heirlooms inscribed with the family name/arms etc. which were disposed of, and yes perhaps sometimes they are sold for stupid reasons i.e. to finance a gambling habit or some other addiction, or invest in some silly business idea that went down the plughole or simply out of pure greed. But sometimes no doubt things are sold because people literally needed the money to eat/live. So I think you can just say what's done is done, not much point in crying about it 50 years later.
Title: Re: Heirlooms rant
Post by: Ruskie on Wednesday 16 February 22 22:13 GMT (UK)
I’m with you steadyrollingman. I’ve seen a few episodes of that programme and decided it was better for the blood pressure to not watch any more.  :)
Title: Re: Heirlooms rant
Post by: steadyrollingman on Wednesday 16 February 22 22:32 GMT (UK)
I’m with you steadyrollingman. I’ve seen a few episodes of that programme and decided it was better for the blood pressure to not watch any more.  :)

But by contrast, if you watch The Repair Shop you'll see what the true value of a relatively worthless or unremarkable object is.
Title: Re: Heirlooms rant
Post by: Andrew Tarr on Wednesday 16 February 22 23:10 GMT (UK)
My heirloom is a mantel clock reputedly given to my gt-grandmother on her wedding day in 1863, coincidentally almost exactly 100 years before my own wedding.  I have recently amused myself adjusting the pendulum to make it keep accurate time.

I also have two of my father's vices (workshop ones) and quite a few of his paintings.  Many other items have already moved on to our daughters.
Title: Re: Heirlooms rant
Post by: Ruskie on Wednesday 16 February 22 23:58 GMT (UK)
That’s a lovely thing to have Andrew (newer than 1863 perhaps?).  :)

What is the case made from? ( it has the appearance of bakelite.)
Title: Re: Heirlooms rant
Post by: Viktoria on Thursday 17 February 22 00:15 GMT (UK)
Could it be ebony?
It will be very heavy if so.
I have also seen slate used for clocks and there must be black slate or perhaps it could be coloured?
Slate polishes up beautifully .
Viktoria
Title: Re: Heirlooms rant
Post by: Ruskie on Thursday 17 February 22 00:36 GMT (UK)
Could it be ebony?
It will be very heavy if so.
I have also seen slate used for clocks and there must be black slate or perhaps it could be coloured?
Slate polishes up beautifully .
Viktoria

Good thoughts Viktoria. I thought if Bakelite it would be a newer clock.
I love the black “whatever it is”.  :)
Title: Re: Heirlooms rant
Post by: maddys52 on Thursday 17 February 22 01:19 GMT (UK)
Probably slate, as the name of the file suggests.  ;)

I remember helping clean out a very dear friend's flat after she died. In the back of her wardrobe was a small cardboard box which contained all the mementos of her husband - can't recall exactly what was in it except for his fob watch and a few papers. They had no children and no living relatives (that I knew of at the time, have since discovered a few). It seemed very poignant to me that a life could be contained in a small box, though memory is much more expansive.
Title: Re: Heirlooms rant
Post by: Ruskie on Thursday 17 February 22 02:54 GMT (UK)
Probably slate, as the name of the file suggests.  ;)

I must remember to take notice of file names.  ;D
Title: Re: Heirlooms rant
Post by: BumbleB on Thursday 17 February 22 08:10 GMT (UK)
Bumble B ,if you can see the Hallmark post it ,I have a little book of gold and silver Hallmarks from 1544 - 1984.
Viktoria.

No hallmarks.
Title: Re: Heirlooms rant
Post by: sonofthom on Thursday 17 February 22 08:29 GMT (UK)
My interest is early photography and if you look on Ebay you will find lots of Victorian photos for sale. It is very unusual for the individual in these photos to be identified. These are all very obviously family items that subsequent family members have chosen to get rid of! I am sure that most people in this site would regard such early family photos as priceless and yet many families apparently see them as worthless junk.
Title: Re: Heirlooms rant
Post by: Andrew Tarr on Thursday 17 February 22 09:33 GMT (UK)
My interest is early photography and if you look on Ebay you will find lots of Victorian photos for sale. It is very unusual for the individual in these photos to be identified. These are all very obviously family items that subsequent family members have chosen to get rid of! I am sure that most people in this site would regard such early family photos as priceless and yet many families apparently see them as worthless junk.
I mentioned recently another heirloom, the original 1865 glass negative of 4 generations, the third member being the recipient of the slate (yes, slate) clock.  A few years ago I was amused to see this very photo on the internet (can't recall where) and stated to have names on the back.  By then my researches had found names for them all, confirmed by the repetition of surnames in later generations.

Like others, I have inherited collections of late Victorian photos ('cartes de visite') in elaborately decorated albums clearly intended to be heirlooms.  Unfortunately the originators didn't have the foresight to identify most of the sitters, so for us those collections have become 'junk' or merely strange relics.  Some judicious contacts obtained from websites like R-C have put names to a few, but most have gone in the bin  :'(

Regarding the clock, I said 'reputedly' because there is no documentary proof of the clock's origins, but it arrived via my grandmother (b.1869) who lived with us until 1963, and the clock allegedly shows small scars left when her house was bombed in 1941.  As the original recipient died in 1931 she probably left the clock to my grandmother, who had returned from many years in India in 1924.
Title: Re: Heirlooms rant
Post by: Viktoria on Thursday 17 February 22 10:20 GMT (UK)
Am I particularly obtuse this morning but I don’t get the connection between slate and the name of the file,” Heirlooms rant”.
Enlighten me someone please.

I have nothing of maternal grandparents except a small length of now pale mauve but was deep lavender ,satin ribbon on which is printed details of my maternal grandmother.DOB DOD etc .
A little poem telling of her continuing care even though her children were grown up, waiting for them all to get home from work etc,
Folded over for all the years since 1932 ,it is now almost split in two.
She was only 60+ when she died.
I have stabilised it and it is with Family History stuff.
Paternal grandmother, a small bar brooch ,gold set with jet ,like a little tie pin but smaller.
There was her wedding ring but my sister had  that and it went when she was burgled.No value but sentimental,  it was only rolled gold ,but down to brass except for a little bit of gold inside.
All I have of my mother are two necklaces, Crystal, and Crystal and black beads but not jet ,a little cut glass pot with silver hall marked lid ,anchor,lion passant and a stylised m ,so Birmingham 1911.
She would have been 15, so obviously bought later I imagine.
Dad was not well enough for work for many years after being a POW in WW1
but then he did buy things ,they courted for about 14 years until he could work .1933.
It was probably second hand .
A cut glass vase , and some glass dishes that came out at Christmas etc.
Her mince pie trays , and the Spode Italian blue tea set got with tokens from Kensitas cigarettes, I added to it ,so now a twelve place setting dinner and tea service ,stuck/ crammed  in the ten place setting dishwasher I have never used!
I look at it sometimes and think,” Mum’s heart attack and Dad’s throat cancer!”
A handkerchief that was in her handbag ,at hospital when she died ,clean ,folded .
An ebony backed hand mirror  that  she looked in as do I now .

A few more things but nothing really big .
Ah well, you don’t forget people because you don’t have mementoes .
Viktoria.
Title: Re: Heirlooms rant
Post by: Ruskie on Thursday 17 February 22 10:36 GMT (UK)
Viktoria, the name under the picture of Andrew’s clock is “Slate Clock”.  ;D
Title: Re: Heirlooms rant
Post by: Viktoria on Thursday 17 February 22 10:49 GMT (UK)
Do you know! I did not see that , just the picture,it is there of course ,I see it now it has been pointed out to me!

So yes obtuse this morning!
Quite a regular occurrence these days,
Thanks  :-[
Viktoria.
Title: Re: Heirlooms rant
Post by: Lisajb on Thursday 17 February 22 12:38 GMT (UK)
There are just couple of things I would have liked from my grandmother, no intrinsic value but precious to me.

Two photographs - one of her as a little girl, so early 1900s, and one of her as a young woman, a studio photo taken with her in full flapper regalia.

They were taken by my aunts then boyfriend, who thought that as they were old photos they were worth something. Now lost forever.
Title: Re: Heirlooms rant
Post by: Tickettyboo on Thursday 17 February 22 22:21 GMT (UK)
Very often family possessions have a different meaning and value to different generations.

We have an old police whistle from c 1910s. It belonged to my OH's G Uncle and was given to my late Pa in Law along with G Uncle's retirement watch.
Pa in Law treasured it as he knew G Uncle well and was very fond of him.

and the reason that we treasure it is different.  We have special memories of my late Ma in law keeping it on the table by the telephone and if she got some eejit cold calling her to attempt to badger her into subscribing to/purchasing  something she neither wanted nor needed, she would blow it full blast down the phone just prior to hanging up :-)

Oh how I loved my Ma in Law - a woman who never suffered fools gladly or otherwise :-)

Boo


Title: Re: Heirlooms rant
Post by: steadyrollingman on Thursday 17 February 22 22:44 GMT (UK)
I am sure that most people in this site would regard such early family photos as priceless and yet many families apparently see them as worthless junk.

When I hear of photos being found in a skip (like that Bradford collection recently) it really makes my blood boil...
Title: Re: Heirlooms rant
Post by: jinks on Thursday 17 February 22 23:51 GMT (UK)
Difficult one - could I have parted with My Grandmother's homemade quilt - NO, but the objects i have from My Grandmother are 'sentimental' to me - A brass boar ashtray that I remember seeing in her house and painting my Dad did of My Grandparent's Farm when they retired from Farming. I did manage to offload two oil paintings to my Auntie  they had no sentimental value to me in fact I don't even remember them on the wall! There's thing that I wish I had (and seen) but obviously things are shared with different descendants - The oil Paintings of My Great-Great Grandparents and the commemorative flagon that belonged to another Great-Great-Great Grandparent when they had a public house. I hope they are still in the family somewhere both people that had these items have now passed.     
Title: Re: Heirlooms rant
Post by: steadyrollingman on Thursday 17 February 22 23:56 GMT (UK)
I can only DREAM of oil paintings!
Title: Re: Heirlooms rant
Post by: jinks on Friday 18 February 22 00:02 GMT (UK)
I didn't know of their existence until My Great Aunt showed me! so anything is possible.
Title: Re: Heirlooms rant
Post by: steadyrollingman on Friday 18 February 22 00:17 GMT (UK)
It's a long shot but have you checked the National Portrait Gallery collection on Ancestry?
Title: Re: Heirlooms rant
Post by: louisa maud on Friday 18 February 22 01:36 GMT (UK)
I know my son in law won't do what I did when my mother died, I brought things home that my mother said was worth money, books for instance, well they might be old but books get dirty and I don't mean content, I still have them as I can hear my mother saying "don't throw them away" there were other things as well, I do try to de-clutter, my daughter has asked me to put sticky labels on things in my glass cabinet , she will keep them if they belonged to my parents but it really is a job, I don't want numerous skips outside my door getting rid of what is deemed at the time to be junk, my daughter tells me tools go in an instant at boot sales, well she can do that job, I don't like boot sales
Photos, what do we do with them, I have stacks sent to me by a cousin who didn't know who they were, I don't know either, I don't really want to throw them away but I might have to, shown them to various family members , no one wanted them or knew who they were

Louisa Maud
Title: Re: Heirlooms rant
Post by: Andrew Tarr on Friday 18 February 22 09:15 GMT (UK)
Photos, what do we do with them, I have stacks sent to me by a cousin who didn't know who they were, I don't know either, I don't really want to throw them away but I might have to, shown them to various family members , no one wanted them or knew who they were

If you have made all possible enquiries, I personally would take a last look and get rid.  However there are some people who like to collect them regardless, so you may be able to find an interested taker ...  :D
Title: Re: Heirlooms rant
Post by: sonofthom on Friday 18 February 22 09:45 GMT (UK)
If you don't want old photos at least put them on EBay as a job lot and  allow collectors to save them. The interest in old photos tends to be particularly in relation to Victorian and Edwardian photographs. Later family "snaps" are usually of much less interest to collectors, unless the subject matter is particularly collectable, with older railway photos, for example, being very saleable.
Title: Re: Heirlooms rant
Post by: Viktoria on Friday 18 February 22 10:08 GMT (UK)
It really upsets and yes,angers me when war medals are sold, any war but especially the First World War,not just those for gallantry ,the General Service medals all soldiers got .
One hour in a trench ,in mud and filth , the unburied dead all around - ,,shells,bullets,gas coming at you ,cold,wet ,frightened and scared you will not be up to going over the top ,just one hour of that deserved ten medals.
Then if they survived— what they returned to - the Great Depression of the twenties and thirties.
To sell those !,they take up no room at all,it truly does upset me and shows a level of ignorance and insensitivity in the sellers that ought to be
prosecutable !
Viktoria.


 
Title: Re: Heirlooms rant
Post by: ThrelfallYorky on Friday 18 February 22 15:28 GMT (UK)
I see what you mean, Viktoria.
I have my father's WWII medals, and my grandfather's WWI medals ( the latter cushioned in one of those brass tins - was it Queen Alexandra sent them to the Troops?
My father was a tank driver, spent a lot of time in Egypt, must've been hard for him he was quite a tall man, a ken rower before the War.
My grandfather was apparently something of a sharp shooter, spent some time as a sniper. He later was in the Machine Gun Corps.
I cherish both sets, but after me no-one else will be interested.
TY
Title: Re: Heirlooms rant
Post by: Mike in Cumbria on Friday 18 February 22 15:54 GMT (UK)
....and shows a level of ignorance and insensitivity in the sellers that ought to be
prosecutable !
Viktoria.

I thought it was still legal to  give away or even sell your own property if you want to. What would they be prosecuted for?
Title: Re: Heirlooms rant
Post by: Kiltpin on Friday 18 February 22 16:51 GMT (UK)
....and shows a level of ignorance and insensitivity in the sellers that ought to be
prosecutable !
Viktoria.

I thought it was still legal to  give away or even sell your own property if you want to. What would they be prosecuted for?
 

"ought to be", Mike, not is. 

Regards 

Chas
Title: Re: Heirlooms rant
Post by: steadyrollingman on Friday 18 February 22 17:35 GMT (UK)
It really upsets and yes,angers me when war medals are sold

Yep, they put up with all that just so their ungrateful descendants can make an easy £100?

Mind, if the WW1 medals of my GG Uncles ever come up for sale, I'll happily reserve judgement...
Title: Re: Heirlooms rant
Post by: BumbleB on Friday 18 February 22 17:43 GMT (UK)

Yep, they put up with all that just so their ungrateful descendants can make an easy £100?

Mind, if the WW1 medals of my GG Uncles ever come up for sale, I'll happily reserve judgement...

BUT we have to remember - our ancestors didn't fight in whichever war in order to benefit their "ungrateful descendants" - they fought for what THEY believed in AT THAT TIME, and probably never even thought they would receive a MEDAL.  Let's face it, hindsight is wonderful  ;D
Title: Re: Heirlooms rant
Post by: Andrew Tarr on Friday 18 February 22 17:48 GMT (UK)
Yep, they put up with all that just so their ungrateful descendants can make an easy £100?
I doubt that Leonardo ever wondered whether any of his output might fetch a few million dollars or ducats either ....  :P
Title: Re: Heirlooms rant
Post by: steadyrollingman on Friday 18 February 22 17:52 GMT (UK)
Yep, they put up with all that just so their ungrateful descendants can make an easy £100?
I doubt that Leonardo ever wondered whether any of his output might fetch a few million dollars or ducats either ....  :P

Oh man, imagine being descended from the ungrateful descendant of Mrs Mona Lisa who sold her portrait for the price of a few bottles of vino rosso..  :'(
Title: Re: Heirlooms rant
Post by: jinks on Friday 18 February 22 18:59 GMT (UK)
It's a long shot but have you checked the National Portrait Gallery collection on Ancestry?

They weren't that notable, probably painted by their next door neighbour, just checked and nearly dropped by laptop when the name came up but NO not mine. 
Title: Re: Heirlooms rant
Post by: steadyrollingman on Friday 18 February 22 19:06 GMT (UK)
Same here - the closest branch I have that passes for 'landed gentry' would be laughed out of the room nationally speaking. My searching that site was definitely the dictionary definition of 'hope over expectation'...
Title: Re: Heirlooms rant
Post by: Viktoria on Friday 18 February 22 19:37 GMT (UK)

Yep, they put up with all that just so their ungrateful descendants can make an easy £100?

Mind, if the WW1 medals of my GG Uncles ever come up for sale, I'll happily reserve judgement...

BUT we have to remember - our ancestors didn't fight in whichever war in order to benefit their "ungrateful descendants" - they fought for what THEY believed in AT THAT TIME, and probably never even thought they would receive a MEDAL.  Let's face it, hindsight is wonderful  ;D
That is true, but makes it all the more commendable that they did fight without any thought of reward.
Viktoria.
Title: Re: Heirlooms rant
Post by: phenolphthalein on Friday 18 February 22 21:04 GMT (UK)
All this is raw so will say little but someone who i know had their only next of kin give their guardianship to 2 complete strangers to my friend.  Results the strangers have complete control not only of the next of kin but also of all the heirlooms and my frriend is 800 km from her next of kin anyway and can not move her next of kin closer but has rescued some of the precious things.  ALL our single folk are vulnerable to such exploitation. OH and yes the exploiters (unrelated) wanted the war medals but will not get.
Title: Re: Heirlooms rant
Post by: BreadBaker on Friday 18 February 22 22:27 GMT (UK)
Not heirlooms as such, but I find it really sad when I find the house an ancestor lived in has been demolished. I have no real heirlooms but visiting the house where they lived or seeing the font they were baptised in pleases me. Demolition of the Victorian school where an ancestor went is the same to me as getting rid of an heirloom.
Title: Re: Heirlooms rant
Post by: steadyrollingman on Friday 18 February 22 22:31 GMT (UK)
Not heirlooms as such, but I find it really sad when I find the house an ancestor lived in has been demolished.

Definitely agree. In fact, I get annoyed when they demolish old houses WITHOUT any family connection. I guess I'm just too sentimental...
Title: Re: Heirlooms rant
Post by: Viktoria on Friday 18 February 22 22:43 GMT (UK)
That is sad,it makes you think — I have on occasion thought I ought to give my precious things to relatives before I die ,however I know full well the style of rings etc is not to their taste .
I gave my Dad’s tie pin to my daughter ,her fiance had the Marquise cut diamond re set in a very nice ring .
Now divorced she never wears it ,wonder if she will give it to her daughter.
My engagement ring and another bought for my seventieth birthday are both lovely but again not to today’s taste .
They mean so much to me ,but I can’t expect others to have the same feelings about them.
I must think seriously about this ,there is my daughter ,grand daughter ,granddaughter in law and a three month old baby girl .
My daughters in law - one not interested in jewellery and the other we have bought some nice things for but they are left in a trinket tray in the bathroom .or just lying about ,quality ,not cheap costume jewellery either.
You feel they are not appreciated .

Perhaps I ought to ask my blood relatives ,arrange for my eldest son to sell what is not wanted and share the proceeds among them,it is up to them then to give what they want to my in-laws .
Oooh I can see trouble!

I would like the baby girl in years to come to be able to say, “this was my Great Grandma’s “ .
Ah well I can’t control things from my urn can I!
Viktoria.
Title: Re: Heirlooms rant
Post by: steadyrollingman on Friday 18 February 22 22:52 GMT (UK)
Yep, do it now! Invite 'sealed bids' - not the usual indication of financial interest but rather stating how much a certain object appeals to them in relation to others and then you can make sure it's going to not just a good home, but the best home!
Title: Re: Heirlooms rant
Post by: Ruskie on Friday 18 February 22 22:55 GMT (UK)
Not heirlooms as such, but I find it really sad when I find the house an ancestor lived in has been demolished.

Definitely agree. In fact, I get annoyed when they demolish old houses WITHOUT any family connection. I guess I'm just too sentimental...

I’m the same. Makes me so sad to see buildings demolished. Not content with my own family “heirlooms”, I have been known to collect other peoples …. I have a number of cabinets full of “old stuff”.  :)
Title: Re: Heirlooms rant
Post by: steadyrollingman on Friday 18 February 22 22:59 GMT (UK)
I've actually decided to get into metal detecting - focussing almost exclusively on land farmed by my ancestors or the demolished villages where they lived - in the hope of finding something special. But yes, I expect I will mainly be finding (and keeping) junk left by their neighbours  ;D
Title: Re: Heirlooms rant
Post by: Viktoria on Saturday 19 February 22 11:01 GMT (UK)
Not into many hundred years ago but certainly a few , in Shropshire I know where my rellies lived, most of the hastily built “ squatters’ cots” are just heaps of stones or grown over mounds in isolated places now .
Incoming miners from Cornwall, to Shropshire ,as the tin mines were becoming less profitable and the Shropshire lead mines were the richest seams in the country .
Old very large scale maps and the census returns,wages lists  ,and you can pinpoint where the little houses were.
No roads or streets names just a number in a little settlement ,try getting Hermes to get that!
Oh for a metal detector but not being aware of all the rules and regs no doubt I would have got myself into trouble.
Viktoria.
Title: Re: Heirlooms rant
Post by: Sloe Gin on Saturday 19 February 22 14:00 GMT (UK)
By and large I think people are entitled to do whatever they want with their own property, but in the case of family items, they should see if anyone else in the family wants them before disposing of them.

A few years ago I was alerted to the forthcoming sale in an auction of a sampler that had been made by a member of my family in 1837.  Someone had searched for her name in GenesReunited and found me.  I guess he was thinking of reuniting the family with a long-lost treasure, but the facts were different.  The samplers of five sisters had been shared among my grandmother and her siblings and passed down through the generations. 

I knew exactly who had put this up for auction, and had they told me - or any of several other cousins - we would gladly have paid them for it, by sealed bids if necessary.  I went to the auction with the backing of my cousins and saw off several underbidders.  I was furious. 

The sampler is now reunited with those of the sisters.  There is some satisfaction in knowing that (because of deductions for commission, insurance, photography etc)  the vendor would have received considerably less than they would have got if they had offered it to other family members.  :)
Title: Re: Heirlooms rant
Post by: Viktoria on Saturday 19 February 22 16:02 GMT (UK)
Jolly well serves ‘em right!
Viktoria.
Title: Re: Heirlooms rant
Post by: Sloe Gin on Saturday 19 February 22 20:15 GMT (UK)
What we don't like to think about is how much else has been binned or sold by this person.  :(
Title: Re: Heirlooms rant
Post by: Carra on Sunday 20 February 22 23:24 GMT (UK)
We lost my Dad just over 12 months ago and my sister and I have had many talks about what we are going to do with the 'stuff'. Not just the furniture - although there are two pieces in particular that came from the farm where my Gran was born and grew up.  Both are large pieces that have huge sentimental value to both of us (one was in the home we grew up in, and the other in our Gran's house) and we would love to keep them, but certainly at least one of the pieces is far too big to fit in my small terraced house.  Fortunately we don't have to make a decision on either yet as my Dad's partner continues to live in the house they shared and has lived with both pieces for several decades now.   I'll have to make sure I've moved to a bigger house before we need to do something!  We've also inherited a host of family papers - there's copies of wills from the 19thC, the original lease agreement for the farm my G Grandfather moved to when he married my G Grandmother, and the insurance documents (dated 1895), receipts from the same time for setting up the house, a host of memorial cards and ribbons, letters, books (presents from one sister to another and inscribed as such), photos etc. Its a fascinating treasure trove, and neither of us want to let these things go, but neither of us have children and we will need to do something eventually. We're investigating local history societies and archives in the relevant local area and hoping that at least some of it will find a home where it will be appreciated. 
Title: Re: Heirlooms rant
Post by: ThrelfallYorky on Monday 21 February 22 01:05 GMT (UK)
That's a goodly part of the problem, isn't it? If no descendants, what on earth can you do with things / documents/family history.
TY
Title: Re: Heirlooms rant
Post by: louisa maud on Monday 21 February 22 08:18 GMT (UK)
That is a good idea Carra
I do have a daughter but I believe my son in law won't want our "stuff", so where possible I am sending photographs back to the families concerned and they can d whatever they like with them but not direct blood line,  will make an album.
My parents had what they called  a "china cabinet" neither I or  my brother could house it so eventually it had to go to an antique dealer and I was absolutely amazed at how much it was sold for, plus a chest of drawers that would have gone into a garage, we weren't interested in the money but hopefully the homes they went to they are being enjoyed
I have papers that refer to rents paid in 1900-1920, also receipts for wedding items my parents had at their wedding, all interesting,  I don't want to throw it away, I might have to talk to my daughter and see what she says
LM
Title: Re: Heirlooms rant
Post by: Andrew Tarr on Monday 21 February 22 09:39 GMT (UK)
What we don't like to think about is how much else has been binned or sold by this person.  :(
The trouble is that this kind of behaviour easily leads to long-term, possibly permanent family rifts. My father-in-law had one sister, who by all accounts was self-willed.  The pair of them agreed to take turns looking after their widowed father, but the arrangement broke down after some years.  Until then their two pairs of daughters, of similar ages, used to visit regularly.  After the breakdown there was no contact for about 60 years, when my wife made enquiries and picked up the threads.

On my side, my father and his two sisters agreed to support their widowed mother financially, until one sister demanded that her 'share' be bought out by my father, with similar results.  As an only child I ended up with effectively one cousin, who lived in Ireland.

There's nowt so queer as folk, as they (allegedly) say oop north ...  :-[
Title: Re: Heirlooms rant
Post by: Viktoria on Monday 21 February 22 10:05 GMT (UK)
As we go “paperless!”  paper artefacts  will become more rare of course but also more interesting ,we don’t any longer sign over stamps for example.

I have seen “ collages “ made of old bills etc but would hesitate to do anything like that with land deeds or such things pertaining to ownership of property etc.
We held our deeds when the mortgage was finished ,big Victorian ones ,a few were replacements but not so interesting.
The local Heritage Society often found them useful to refer to.

I have made albums of funeral notices, with details regarding the family tree etc.
Plastic envelopes in a ring file.
They are open as the folds are breaking down ,well after a hundred years or
more -.
Receipts for parents’ furniture ,cabinet Singer sewing machine etc with a photograph of that before it went to The  Sye Ryder charity shop also dining room suite before that went,sadly none of the bedroom suite which my sister disposed of .
However,my children will not be interested,so what will happen ——— :'(
My daughter gives B/ day cards a couple of days then in the bin!
Ruthless .
People don’t have storage space ,stuff is stored as photographs on phones etc.
No answer is there ,all I can say is I have had the pleasure of searching and discovering ,it is all written down so rellies are there ,but after me- no real idea because there is no interest, not even my sister is interested.
Viktoria.

Title: Re: Heirlooms rant
Post by: louisa maud on Monday 21 February 22 10:11 GMT (UK)
I  have  kept  every  funeral order  service for   years  and  years, I  did  look back  on some, interesting to read.

LM
Title: Re: Heirlooms rant
Post by: Andrew Tarr on Monday 21 February 22 12:22 GMT (UK)
No answer is there ,all I can say is I have had the pleasure of searching and discovering, it is all written down so rellies are there, but after me - no real idea because there is no interest, not even my sister is interested.
It's unusual for most to become interested in family history until it gets too late to expect reliable recollections from the older generation  :'( Luckily one of our two daughters (now over 50) is fairly interested, but still relies on us to do most of the work, though we didn't really start until my father had died and Mother was approaching 100.

The sad part was that my Irish cousin - my age - had been interested but died at 60.  She had stated confidently that great-uncle Charles P Liversidge had 'put his head in a gas oven' but I have failed to find any proof of his death.
Title: Re: Heirlooms rant
Post by: Viktoria on Monday 21 February 22 14:03 GMT (UK)
I suppose I was lucky in that both my parents were “ raconteurs “, memories going back at least to 1900,Mum born 1896 Dad 1897 .
We had the Radio but no TV , so we did chat a lot.Parents never went out.
Some stories were what they had heard as children so earlier than 1900, but of course those were not first hand to me.
Ordinary things, but even the very plain simple childhood I had was as luxury to some things my parents related.
The deaths of young people through TB , measles ,etc.
Dad had also memories his mother told him of life in Shropshire ,she  born 1866 ,leaving in 1891 or thereabouts after the census.
Died 1916, as Dad was called up to serve in the Army.
Tales of P.O.W. Camp ,the Great Depression etc.
I ought to write them down as a “ Chronicle “
Then my memories of  WW2,the bombing etc and being an evacuee to my grandmother’s home.
I really wish I had questioned her younger sister ,but at 3 1/2 not really old enough , there was her brother , but I went to people I had never met after leaving my grandma’s sister, very happy times with those people .

As we had few books,no TV, and Mum relating things and Dad too the stories were fascinating to me , still are.
Sadly my children are not really interested ,second son a bit the other two not at all.
I have had great pleasure from the research and subsequent findings, so there is that.
Viktoria.



Title: Re: Heirlooms rant
Post by: Drayke on Wednesday 23 February 22 02:45 GMT (UK)
So many historical or heirloom items are lost in many ways and some go through rough times, especially in my family.

Many were brought over from England to Australia by my mothers family however, many more were left or sold that simply could not be moved due to cost. Then a few years after coming out to Australia many of them were stolen, only to be found again due to the salt of the salt shakers and cellars leaving a trail (have a newspaper clipping of the event somewhere around).

After that when the family moved house many were left accidently under the staircase by my G grandmother when the house was sold and efforts to claim them back were met with "no, the house was sold as is". My Grandmother was left amused and saddened, once finding a few in a local museum that she recognised such as engraved silver items or 17th century rushlights/holders where even the museum owners didn't know what they were until she explained.

Some where also sold during the depression to make much needed cash, others where lost due to being left in the on property bomb shelter during World War 2 which flooded, destroying the 18th cent. family bible and other old documents.

Then they travelled the world in many remote places including remote Africa with my Grandfather being a missionary. Him getting so sick of carting them around decided to sell some off to the horror of my grandmother. One being an 18th century sterling silver tea and coffee set that always sat according to my mother, well positioned on the dining buffet. The excuse he offered was it was to heavy to cart around everywhere, selling it in Canada for $5.

Then when my grandmother died, my grandfather having dementia would routinely throw many in the bin or sell them. My father salvaging a few from the bin, but unfortunately war medals and other things sold lost now forever.

Whilst a few still remain it is a struggle now to stop my father, who also now has dementia throwing out the heirlooms or selling them. One recently we noticed had gone and he said he sold for a few dollars was some of his g grandfathers gold cuff links.
Title: Re: Heirlooms rant
Post by: Lola5 on Wednesday 23 February 22 07:33 GMT (UK)
Viktoria,
You should write all these things down.
They are part of our history as well as your own family's.
And besides you are a true author and bring such humour to your stories.

I used to be regaled by my grandfather,  a military man, (  entering  as a bugle boy at 14; his father and grandfather all serving in the same regiment.)
His tales of the trenches bored  me then.....but now I so wish I could remember them.

And my grandmother's parasol from the time the regiment was in India and Mum' crocodile handbag going into the dustbin.....I would like to have  them now.
I know we cannot keep everything,


Drake
Do stop your father getting rid of things you think need keeping.
They do not know what they are doing when in their sad dementia world.


Title: Re: Heirlooms rant
Post by: Gillg on Wednesday 23 February 22 12:22 GMT (UK)
I have the family wedding veil, made from beautiful Brussels lace and now cream in colour.  It has been worn by generations of our family, including great aunts, my mother and her sister, but I'm afraid I didn't wear it (register office wedding in a dress and coat)  and my cousin didn't either (she said it was too old-fashioned).  My niece did wear it (her mother washed it in Lux flakes!), but my daughter didn't (said it was "creepy").  I also have my grandfather's policeman's truncheon, whistle and lapel badge - he was a Special Constable in WW1, also his metronome and baton (he was a musician and conducted choirs and orchestras).  I have a brooch and a silver locket which belonged to the grandmother I never knew and numerous bits of silver, mainly inherited from a great uncle who travelled a lot on business in the Far East and India. there's an ebony hand mirror which belonged to  my other grandmother and another Art Nouveau one in the shape of a mushroom with pokerwork and enamel decoration.  A large pair of family portraits went to my son at his request.  He's the only one who has enough space to hang them.  Then there are lots of paper mementos, photos and handwritten notes.  I love them, either because I loved the people to whom they belonged or because they were links to relatives found in my family history research. Will my children be at all interested?  I'm hoping so and will carefully label any potential items of interest.
Title: Re: Heirlooms rant
Post by: Andrew Tarr on Wednesday 23 February 22 14:02 GMT (UK)
I have the family wedding veil, made from beautiful Brussels lace and now cream in colour.  It has been worn by generations of our family, including great aunts, my mother and her sister, ...
Vaguely on that topic, my sister-in-law, who was bridesmaid for her sister (now my wife), impressed us all at our 40th wedding anniversary by wearing her bridesmaid dress [ a lot of them couldn't do that  :D ].  And yes, I suppose it did look a bit old-fashioned ...
Title: Re: Heirlooms rant
Post by: Marmalady on Wednesday 23 February 22 14:58 GMT (UK)
I have a collection of gold jewellery that my grandmother inherited from a cousin. Most of it is very old-fashioned and I doubt I will ever wear it, let alone my daughter.
It includes a gold locket engraved with some initials that do not match any family member that I can find -- I have even looked into the cousin's husband's family without finding a match!
Title: Re: Heirlooms rant
Post by: louisa maud on Wednesday 23 February 22 16:36 GMT (UK)
We  all ought to write  down  what  we  want done with  out bits and pieces,  I  have  known  families  fall out big time due to wishes not  being adhered to

LM
Title: Re: Heirlooms rant
Post by: Gillg on Wednesday 23 February 22 16:50 GMT (UK)
A very sensible idea, though sometimes more than one person would like to have a particular object, I have found.
Title: Re: Heirlooms rant
Post by: BumbleB on Wednesday 23 February 22 16:59 GMT (UK)
Oh the joys of OH and I both being only children AND we have only one child  ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Heirlooms rant
Post by: louisa maud on Wednesday 23 February 22 17:04 GMT (UK)
Oh  dear, that  is  a problem, we  have  one daughter a grandaughter  and  a  grandson,  it  won't  be  to  difficult, my  brother  ' s son died last  year and  now  he  has problems  as  to where is "stuff"  should  go.

LM

 
Title: Re: Heirlooms rant
Post by: Lola5 on Wednesday 23 February 22 17:15 GMT (UK)
Yes BumbleB.
 So  much easier...
.especially when  clearing out boxes and boxes of childrens'  drawings, Health records, craft efforts and suchlike....what might they want.?

Today 49 Yr old asked me for her school reports....they may be in box 23 but it will will take me months to find them.
61 Yr old wants the duck drawing he did aged 10.. I last saw it on the wall behind the immovable cupboard/ cabinet thing.
59 Yr old wants the  air mail letter from  my sister in Oz  with burnt edges rescued mail from comet Air crash.....

62 Yr old does not want the hanks of her auburn hair from the 1970,s.
Oh dear...trash or treasures. .?


 


Title: Re: Heirlooms rant
Post by: louisa maud on Wednesday 23 February 22 17:26 GMT (UK)
I have  birthday cards,  replies  to  my daughters wedding and  her  wedding  dress in the  loft,  they  will  have to go to  her at  sometime ,  my  wedding  dress I  made  into  a  christening  robe that  is  hanging in  my wardrobe, if  my daughter  comments  about tbe amount of  stuff I  have  I will  remind her  a  good majority  of  it  is her stuff

LM
Title: Re: Heirlooms rant
Post by: Viktoria on Wednesday 23 February 22 21:37 GMT (UK)
I have got children’s milk teeth retrieved from under the hearth rug ,
sixpence placed there .
Trouble is my daughter mixed all their milk teeth up with those of our Westie puppy’s.
Don’t know what DNA conclusions could be drawn from that  mix!
Viktoria.
Title: Re: Heirlooms rant
Post by: louisa maud on Wednesday 23 February 22 21:51 GMT (UK)
One  evening  my  husband  forgot to  put the tooth fairies  money  under  my daughter's  pillow,  she  came  to  breakfast  next  morning crying, she  said  she had  seen her  dad  put the  money  under  her pillow but pretended to  be asleep, my  reply was  "well as long as  you  don't  tell everyone  your dad is a fairy", well it  made  her laugh

LM
Title: Re: Heirlooms rant
Post by: Viktoria on Wednesday 23 February 22 22:22 GMT (UK)
Aaaaaw!

My daughter recognised a friend’s very distinctive watch, when he was playing Father Christmas at our Church’s Christmas Fair .She was five.
A quick thinking lady ,explained he was Father Christmas ,but if course not all the time as he had to work ! He had four children .
We were always at one or the others’ house seven children in all.
They were English too and it was good for the children to speak English as a relaxation after working in both Flemish and French in school.
Church had a social hour after the service and it was good to relax in your own language so we could well understand how the children needed it.

The same man brought a zebra skin back from a business trip to Africa.(Ugh!)
Daughter was quite upset , lots of explaining to do. ( This was 1970)
It had been very poorly, and the Vet could not make it better, he did not want it to have pain so he had given it a big tablet and it went to sleep but did not wake up because it was really really ill.

Viktoria.