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General => The Common Room => Topic started by: Suffolkgal on Thursday 04 March 21 16:09 GMT (UK)

Title: How to say "You're wrong"?
Post by: Suffolkgal on Thursday 04 March 21 16:09 GMT (UK)
I have the marriage of Person X in 1792 but have hit a brickwall before that date.  Strongly suspect they originated in Ireland but I can find nothing earlier.  However, someone has posted a family tree on Anc. giving X’s birth three years before his wedding and attributing a couple married in 1845 to the bride’s parents.  What’s the etiquette here?  How do you point out there's something wrong... in a nice way?  ??? ???
Title: Re: How to say "You're wrong"?
Post by: Jebber on Thursday 04 March 21 16:26 GMT (UK)
I wouldn't bother contacting anyone with such glaring errors in their tree, they obviously haven't done any serious research. Some people see a name that fits but don't bother to look to see when or where they were born,

I have come across many similar examples. Parents  born nearly 200 years after their children, a woman giving birth to children six months apart, one in America the other in England, are just two examples.
Title: Re: How to say "You're wrong"?
Post by: jim1 on Thursday 04 March 21 16:31 GMT (UK)
I wouldn't bother.
Obviously someone name collecting so probably won't listen.
If they're not prepared to do the research correctly at best they'll
ask to see your tree & just add it to theirs making it more of
a nonsense that it already is.
You know you're right & that's all that matters.
Title: Re: How to say "You're wrong"?
Post by: chris_49 on Thursday 04 March 21 19:32 GMT (UK)
Broadly I agree with Jebber and Jim, but this mistake could be a one-off. I recently found a case in my tree where I'd made a typo entering a birth year, so their child's birth year looked unlikely. If the tree is full of such errors then no point in contacting, otherwise a respectful "Are you sure?" would be OK.

Don't hold out too much hope for a reply, though.

Title: Re: How to say "You're wrong"?
Post by: Nic. on Thursday 04 March 21 19:47 GMT (UK)
I spent ages putting together why a marriage was wrong giving census returns BMD references and even a Marriage announcement in the local press which I sent to someone.   It was totally ignored because according to the ‘hints’ it had to be what they had.  Hopefully they will eventually realised the error in their tree.
Title: Re: How to say "You're wrong"?
Post by: suey on Thursday 04 March 21 20:09 GMT (UK)

I always try to see how many names they have in their tree, you can soon spot the name collectors.

If you think it’s a one off mistake then go for it. But take a look at some other entries in the tree...if there are more mistakes then don’t bother.
Title: Re: How to say "You're wrong"?
Post by: ms_canuck on Monday 15 March 21 18:29 GMT (UK)
I also take a look at their profile to see when they were last on Ancestry.  If it's fairly recently, then I might send my message.  For anyone where it says '3-11 months' since they were last on, then I don't bother.

Ms_C
Title: Re: How to say "You're wrong"?
Post by: kiwihalfpint on Monday 15 March 21 19:49 GMT (UK)

Some people see a name that fits but don't bother to look to see when or where they were born,

And they add the death certificate and photo of the tombstone, and it still hasn't clicked to the owner, that they have the wrong person and parents in the tree, but it is a name and to them, it fits.  My fingers have been itching to reply, but I am giving them enough rope in the hope they will realise their mistake.

Cheers
KHP
Title: Re: How to say "You're wrong"?
Post by: jc26red on Monday 15 March 21 19:57 GMT (UK)
I check how many names they have attributed to the tree, then look at the root person’s profile. If that person (tree owner) is a direct descendant then I might contact them, if it looks like they are nowhere near related then I don’t bother.
Title: Re: How to say "You're wrong"?
Post by: M_ONeill on Monday 15 March 21 23:37 GMT (UK)
I've sent messages to people with shared ancestors in cases where there is a 'pitfall'; that is, an answer that appears correct unless you know one particular detail that is difficult to uncover.

In those situations you can often tell from their tree that they are by no means a bad researcher, they've just made an erroneous-but-fair assumption given the information they had available. I figure it's at least worth a shot at putting those people on the right path.

There's one particular ancestor in my tree who has caused so many people to make a wrong turn, as you can only find the correct record with an unusual spelling variant. In her case there's actually too many mistaken trees on Ancestry to message! 

In most cases I'd agree, it's not worth it. Ancestry's algorithms themselves encourage the 'scattershot' and 'name collecting' style of searching. Endorphin hits from making matches keeps the punters playing, after all!
Title: Re: How to say "You're wrong"?
Post by: Ruskie on Tuesday 16 March 21 05:41 GMT (UK)
If you can be bothered to correct them, you don’t need to tiptoe around it, just say, “I think you are wrong” and briefly say why.
Title: Re: How to say "You're wrong"?
Post by: majm on Tuesday 16 March 21 06:54 GMT (UK)
If you can be bothered to correct them, you don’t need to tiptoe around it, just say, “I think you are wrong” and briefly say why.

Exactly so.  .... 

Hi there,   like you, I am researching ...... and ......  and I notice you mention the  1789 birth details for ......  and their subsequent marriage, just three years later, in 1792. 

May I  ask you to re check and let me know the outcome,  as I am sure it would be impossible for any person that young to actually marry.   


Cheerio for now, looking forward to sharing some images from my research with you,

 :)  ::)  :)

And of course before you send it,  make sure that the person you think was 3 years of age .... well ... make sure.... e.g.  if it is based on a baptism,  are you absolutely positive the baptism is for a baby ... and parents named, no others of similar name or occupation, in that locality,  baby before and after in a pattern,  mum not too young or too old,.... check, check check.... and ask on RChat for fresh eyes to check too.

JM.

Title: Re: How to say "You're wrong"?
Post by: melba_schmelba on Thursday 18 March 21 18:07 GMT (UK)
I have the marriage of Person X in 1792 but have hit a brickwall before that date.  Strongly suspect they originated in Ireland but I can find nothing earlier.  However, someone has posted a family tree on Anc. giving X’s birth three years before his wedding and attributing a couple married in 1845 to the bride’s parents.  What’s the etiquette here?  How do you point out there's something wrong... in a nice way?  ??? ???
Some of these horrors come from madcap suggestions from the Ancestry hints, so it may not be entirely their fault. I've regularly seen Ancestry hints suggests things in countries separated by oceans, or by 150 years.
Title: Re: How to say "You're wrong"?
Post by: sleepybarb on Thursday 18 March 21 18:12 GMT (UK)
I’m afraid I wouldn’t bother. My cousins son has my grandparents wrong on his tree with Grandad dying in1963. Wrong he died 1935 and aforementioned cousins grandfather registered the death!
  Barb
Title: Re: How to say "You're wrong"?
Post by: chris_49 on Thursday 18 March 21 18:37 GMT (UK)

You could modernise:

"I beseech you, in the bowels of Christ, think it possible that you may be mistaken." (Oliver Cronwell)

Cromwell's rule is not meant to imply certainty but rather near-certainty. In family history, it's entirely possible for both protaganists to be wrong.
Title: Re: How to say "You're wrong"?
Post by: sandiep on Thursday 18 March 21 18:55 GMT (UK)
if you dont feel able to contact direct there is a comments section on each person if you put what you think there they can see it and so can anyone else who can then check before adding it to their tree
Title: Re: How to say "You're wrong"?
Post by: Jebber on Thursday 18 March 21 20:57 GMT (UK)
if you dont feel able to contact direct there is a comments section on each person if you put what you think there they can see it and so can anyone else who can then check before adding it to their tree

That is what I usually do, the option is then there for anyone else looking at the tree to check, but I don’t think many do.