RootsChat.Com
Research in Other Countries => New Zealand => New Zealand Completed Requests => Topic started by: foundblue on Friday 10 January 20 12:06 GMT (UK)
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I would really appreciate some help as I am in the UK and am having difficulty looking up a New Zealand marriage.
I know very little information hence the need to find the marriage! I have the surnames of the couple and believe they are both likely to still be alive. I am seeking other details and year of marriage. I am not sure of the first names but have some guesses and estimate the year to be in the last 30 years? I don't even know if it is possible to get any information on such an event. In the UK details are available for recent UK marriages on a few sites but I am struggling with New Zealand.
If able to help please send a PM to me and I will explain all I know of the bride and groom's names.
Many thanks
Nick
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Recent records are not searchable, you would have to know full names, date, and location of the event:
https://www.bdmonline.dia.govt.nz/NonHistoricRecords/FAQ
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Thanks for the prompt reply - I guess that closes that avenue for a number of years then what a pity I felt I was getting somewhere with my family.
Thanks very much really appreciate the help.
Nick
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Hi Nick
I don't know what other details you are looking for but if you are a member of Ancestry they have the NZ electoral rolls up until 1981. Your people may be on there depending on their ages. Take a look.
I am also in the UK but often find other ways to track down people.
Good luck
KK
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Sorry, re-read your post and see you don't know first names so electoral rolls not much use without that.
KK
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Hi Ketishkiwi - yes I've thought of that route - I'm not a worldwide member at the moment so couldn't see the details but it doesn't come up with anything in the index that looks right anyway. I guess by 1981 the groom would have been 11 or younger so no voting for him! According to the information I've gleaned from the internet he is between 40 and 49 now so was born in the 1970's.
Thanks for the suggestion - anything at all is helpful when looking for the needle in a haystack.
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Have sent you a PM.
KK
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I am wondering if the Varcoes index might be a small help.
It's an index which relates to NZ's microfiche marriage index. If you know a bride or groom surname it can help find the spouse surname and tell you which microfiche it is on.
https://www.otago.ac.nz/library/hocken/marriages/marriages.php
EDIT: That is after you have located one or other on the hard copy.
Forget that, just re-read the OP and see it is in the last 30 years. Ooops.
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Did the couple you are seeking arrive as independent adult immigrants to New Zealand or is there anyone among their parents who also lived here? Details for an earlier generation might be more readily available.
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PM sent requesting known information.....
Minniehaha.
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It might pay to think about why the marriage of living persons is being sought, and about the right of those persons to privacy. It is relatively straightforward to openly contact living people, if there is a legitimate reason to do so, particularly within the age range mentioned, and particularly as it seems either they or people close to them have a social media presence.
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It might pay to think about why the marriage of living persons is being sought, and about the right of those persons to privacy. It is relatively straightforward to openly contact living people, if there is a legitimate reason to do so, particularly within the age range mentioned, and particularly as it seems either they or people close to them have a social media presence.
SelDen I don't think it is up to us to be judge and jury.If the information is passed by PM I can't see a problem.
Cheers Janette
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Each of us has a responsibility to treat information about other people with basic respect.
If the original request was consistent with the supposed purpose and ethos of Rootschat it would not need to be done by PM.
Anonymous requests for personal information about living people raise immediate red flags with me.
I think the time has come for me to call it a day with Rootschat.
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It appears I may have given offence by my request for help. My reason for asking for people to pm me was because I didn't want to clutter up the thread with a long complicated post and I didn't want to put very personal information about myself in the public domain. I simply wanted to know if records exist in the public domain relating to modern day events so I can get the information I need. One person has very kindly pointed my to public records that contain the information I am looking for.
Many thanks to those who have helped me and apologies to anyone i have angered.
Nick
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Hi Nick, and a belated welcome to RootsChat :)
In my opinion you have managed this sensitive inquiry with tact and caution and made every effort to maintain personal privacy. Clearly a very well considered first topic, congratulations. 8) 8)
I'm pleased you have been given a lead (from a very experienced and supportive RootsChatter, I might add) and I hope that it results in you making contact with the subjects of your topic.
If you do make contact we'd love to know. :)
Please feel free to post further topics on the New Zealand Board - we like the challenge and the opportunity to help!
Spades
Moderator.
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Nick,
as Spades our lovely moderator has said you handled your request beautifully,don't feel bad,you have done well ;D ;D
Some folk seem to poke their head in the door just to criticize without being useful but I guess it takes all sorts :D :D
Cheers Janette
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Further to reply #9, Nick has sent me a PM expanding on his request and I have said I will try to help him.
I also told him that he had not caused any offence and had handled the situation with care and delicacy.
Minniehaha.
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Thanks to the Rootschat New Zealand group I have the answer I was looking for. I did want to say a special thanks to Kentishkiwi for reminding me how useful wills can be and pointing me to archway archives - what a fantastic resource.
And also to minniehaha who has spent a great deal of time researching my request and has found the answers for me by thinking outside the box. The family I am looking for is in Australia having moved on from NZ so I can now write to my new found cousins and hopefully solve the mystery in my now rapidly growing family tree.
Thanks very much indeed.
Nick
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Hello Nick,
It has been my pleasure to participate in your genealogical journey and I wish you the very best for the next stage. If more help is required, you know where to find us. ;D ;D
All good wishes,
Minniehaha. :)
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Each of us has a responsibility to treat information about other people with basic respect.
If the original request was consistent with the supposed purpose and ethos of Rootschat it would not need to be done by PM.
Anonymous requests for personal information about living people raise immediate red flags with me.
I think the time has come for me to call it a day with Rootschat.
Hello there.
Just returned home from a holiday.
I fully respect the conditions as set down by the founders of this site, and am very grateful for the opportunities the site offers to further my research, by the assistance of the talented team of volunteers who offer their expertise, on the NZ board. In return, I help forum posters, where I can.
But I feel there is a bigger picture to be considered, re the use of Private Messaging, as provided for by the Rootschat founders.
Along with others, on this forum there have been numerous occasions where I have used the PM system, when our research has extended into the realm of possible living. And I have no problem of doing so, when I consider the objectives are honourable and worthy.
I’m very proud of my small part in assisting to repatriate correspondence [letters & photos] between a father and son; and following the young New Zealand airman’s death, the father and his son’s UK billet hosts.
Faithfully kept safe by two generations in the UK, it was decided it was time for the material to return to NZ, and relatives of the deceased. All that was known, in the UK, was the Airman’s full name, and a NZ address that was no longer used by the subjects family.
Those that took up the challenge of looking for living relatives, had no kinship to the family, and the search for possible descendant recipients, though I recognised the surname as having a local presence, and I had done business with one family of that, not so common, surname.
After a lot of research, a home was found for the material, and the recipients were ever so grateful for gaining keepsakes, that they never knew existed, from that tragic time.
Though I have helped with several repatriations like this example, it is the one that I remember most, as I was given an oppertunity to see the material being repatriated. (When looking for clues)
Alan.
https://www.rootschat.com/forum/index.php?topic=801223.9
http://www.rootschat.com/forum/index.php?topic=652286.0
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Alan I think you will find that SelDen has called it a day her hasn't been on since his last message on the 11th Jan,
I think the time has come for me to call it a day with Rootschat.
Cheers Janette
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Hello... not to criticise (then proceeds to criticise) ... when reading the original post my immediate reaction was identical to SelDen. Red flags and a ten foot pole. I was really quite surprised to see our big guns pile into him/her.
Having had my immediate family as "persons of interest" in some stranger's search I can tell you it's a really creepy feeling.
Sometimes researchers don't seem to consider the consequences of their actions. What one person considers "helping", another person may consider as unwelcome and unasked for attention.
I'm now of the opinion the 100, 80 and 50 year rules on the BDM NZ website need to be considered before offering to help.
Admittedly it's a case of pot calling the kettle black as previously I've helped trace the living but nowadays, as for example this thread, it's an obvious nope.
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Speaking of the BDM website... if anyone's interested I still compile my lists. Just completed 1919B, 2019D and 1969D-updated. PM me if you'd like a copy.
Regards
Beg
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Thanks.
The reason why I addressed the forum thread, and not the poster.
Alan.
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Hello everybody,
Although a relative newcomer to Rootschat, compared to some who have contributed comment about this type of topic, I feel I can put in my pennyworth as I have worked behind the scenes on this and many other such requests.
Beg has mentioned 'red flags and a ten foot pole'. With respect, I believe only two of us, Kentishkiwi & myself know the details that lay behind this particular request which I considered genuine and could understand why it was made in the first place.
In general I don't have a problem with this type of request. The reason being, the information is already out there in the public domain in one form or another and it is just a matter for us to gather it in and 'join the dots'.
A recent example was a situation where I managed to find details of a New Zealander who I discovered, was the son of a man who had gone a.w.o.l. when his children were very young and died under an assumed name. Contact was made with the son by his previously unknown extended family members in the UK. Delight all round, photographs, stories exchanged etc. etc. and a meeting taking place.
At the end of the day, if an approach is made to an unsuspecting person and they don't want the contact, surely all they have to do is to ignore it?
Ok, now shoot me! ;D
Minniehaha.
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I agree with Minniehaha.
With folk doing DNA tests nowadays this sort of request is going to be more common.
Moving with the times I think they call it.
No one is breaking any of the rules by using the PM to commnicate and at the end of the day a problem is solved for the OP.
Cheers Janette
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QUOTE: Ok, now shoot me! Minniehaha.
Rest easy, it wont be from me. I handed in my firearms license, and guns, many years ago.
And as replying to you another example sprung to mind. The time that I drew our NZ board to the lonely body, lying unclaimed, in a country morgue, for six months.
You and the team beavered away until you found living relatives on distant shores.
Long may you continue to assist.
Alan.
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Thanks Alan. ;)
However there will still be times when I have to help from behind the scenes, i.e. by using the PM system, as I have done with the topic above, "Help with Marriage". Each situation is different, most come across as genuine and in some cases time is running out. Until I'm either shot or given my marching orders, I intend to continue as discretely as possible below the parapet. ;D
Minniehaha.
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Ok, now shoot me!
Hi Minnie... really hope I didn't offend you. I suspect I might have but it definitely ticked me off how everyone piled into SelDen for giving his/her thoughts on what was 110% a breach of Rootschat Terms and Conditions.
I have the surnames of the couple and believe they are both likely to still be alive.
4.1 As a user you agree not to do any of the following:
[...]
4.1.17 - Breach or request the breach of privacy of persons who are or may be living.
https://www.rootschat.com/forum/terms.php
Even our beloved leader gave the original poster a bit of a free pass (although admittedly he can read the PMs so knew what was going on behind the scenes).
There might be something in the T's & C's which says "it's okay to use the PM system to bypass our Terms and Conditions" but I couldn't find it. Maybe it's the bit about "in accordance with English law" so it doesn't apply to us honest kiwis.
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There's absolutely no doubt in my mind that the hundreds of people who are thankful to you and other rootschatters for your/their time and effort far outweigh the number of people that your efforts have caused to feel a bit creeped out, assuming there are any.
Speaking of creeping... quite a few years back you sent me an email about something. Just for fun I used your email address to find you in real life. It wasn't difficult. I just "used what's out there" and, as respect of personal privacy seems to be a thing of the past, I can now consider it "moving with the times".
Looking back it slightly upsets me that I did that... plus it now transpires I broke T&C 4.1.1 (no stalking).... ooops.... never mind. English law, so doesn't apply here in good old honest NZ.
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I still check the board most days and like to help out when I can. It's just I'm a lot more careful about what I get involved in.
As in life, just because I can do something doesn't mean I should do something.
Regards
Beg
PS - Had a chuckle at the "relative newcomer" line :-)
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Hello Beg,
This topic is hotting up quite nicely..... ;D ;D
Part quote:
"Hi Minnie... really hope I didn't offend you. I suspect I might have but it definitely ticked me off how everyone piled into SelDen for giving his/her thoughts on what was 110% a breach of Rootschat Terms and Conditions."
You have my word, you have not offended me at all. However I would like to be excluded from the 'everyone' "who piled into SelDen."
My words to the OP were, "I also told him that he had not caused any offence and had handled the situation with care and delicacy." I think 'piled' here might be a tad over the top, perhaps? However that could just be a matter of opinion. :D
Part quote:
"Speaking of creeping... quite a few years back you sent me an email about something. Just for fun I used your email address to find you in real life. It wasn't difficult."
Now that is interesting because the e-mail address is not mine so I'm really not sure what you could have found out about me personally. ??? But then I know little about technology, as has been shown from time to time.
In conclusion I would like to say that I very much respect all the work you do on Rootschat. We don't 'see' you often but when we do, you always have some valuable information to impart.
Kind regards,
Minniehaha. :)
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. I was really quite surprised to see our big guns pile into him/her.
Regards
Beg
And yet others are prepared to pile into foundblue by way of all these comments on this thread.
Double standards come to mind.
Cheers Janette
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Hi Minnie... interesting about the email address. I honestly can't remember the details as it was many years ago. It was just a natural reaction back then to put a face to an email address. Anyway, good to see you keep real life and online life seperate.
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We'll have to agree to disagree :-)
In your eyes the end result of this thread is yet another successful reunion. The ends justify the means.
In my mind everyone either broke or was complicit in breaking the rules and the only one who called you all out has left the building.
Having said that, there are a million more things of importance happening in the world today. A mild online disagreement between friends "ain't worth a hill of beans in this crazy world" ... or something like that :-)
All the best
Beg
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And yet others are prepared to pile into foundblue by way of all these comments on this thread.
Double standards come to mind.
Hi Janette... not piling in to the original poster. Merely stating the fact that he broke the rules, more than likely through ignorance.
If by double standards you mean I've used the PM system to research the living... guilty as charged. Certainly don't do it nowadays.
I always feel a bit uneasy when people say "No one is breaking any of the rules by using the PM to [sp] commnicate" then are quiet when people proceed to use the PM system to break the rules.
Bit of a double standard.
Regards
Beg
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Hi everyone,
I sent a message to Sarah asking for clarification. In her reply she didn't make any reference to the T&C, but said only that RootsChat should avoid living person search requests as we never know the motive for the inquiry, i.e. criminal or genuine. That is why it's best to refer such requests to other resources such as Salvation Army, etc.
I hope this clarifies matters.
Spades