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General => Ancestral Family Tree DNA Testing => Topic started by: janeeliza999 on Tuesday 16 April 19 21:21 BST (UK)

Title: I need to block/remove a relative but cant
Post by: janeeliza999 on Tuesday 16 April 19 21:21 BST (UK)
Hi. I tested on 23andme. A relative has popped up from a side of the family that I have nothing to do with and never will. I dont want this person to see anything about me but 23andme have said that there is no way to block or remove her. I have blocked her on messages but I know she would never contact me.
Any ideas on how to get rid?
Jane
Title: Re: I need to block/remove a relative but cant
Post by: Craclyn on Tuesday 16 April 19 23:22 BST (UK)
I don’t think you can unless you choose to be anonymous and then nobody would see you as a match.
Title: Re: I need to block/remove a relative but cant
Post by: janeeliza999 on Wednesday 17 April 19 00:09 BST (UK)
Hi

Ive taken all my family info off my profile.
Ill have to look for one that you can block people from accessing your info.
Will have to go anonymous

Thanks for your reply.
Title: Re: I need to block/remove a relative but cant
Post by: majm on Wednesday 17 April 19 00:48 BST (UK)
I have not done any DNA test, but  I am somewhat confused by your thread.  I can see from your profile you have been interested in family history for a fair while, so you would likely have come across others who were also researching the same deceased people as you and then considering if you wish to share info with them.   Of course, they may have been researching their (and your) ancestors, or simply involved in researching a particular era in a particular neighbourhood.

I realise that none of us will always get along without any diverging opinions with each and every one of our living relatives.

What I find difficult to understand is the concept of you deciding that you don't want a particular person to ever have DNA confirmation that you both share a common ancestor.   What about your siblings, or your parents or your parents siblings or THAT person's siblings or their parents or their parents siblings ... what if ANY of those people (your immediate family  and/or THAT person's immediate family) were, unbeknown to YOU, to undertake DNA tests ...

I am simply curious,  but I will understand if you don't want to explain.   I am not interested in knowing the reason for your rebuttal of a family member.  I am just astonished that you are interested in family history but want to deny an entire branch because of your knowledge of one living person.

JM

Title: Re: I need to block/remove a relative but cant
Post by: KGarrad on Wednesday 17 April 19 07:23 BST (UK)
Whatever site you choose, might it not be a good idea to read the Terms & Conditions BEFORE signing up?

Otherwise, I agree with Majm.
Why do Family History, and then block out certain people?
I just don't get it? ???

P.S. I don't do DNA either! ;D
Title: Re: I need to block/remove a relative but cant
Post by: Flattybasher9 on Wednesday 17 April 19 07:50 BST (UK)
Reading the FAQ's, I quote :-

How is my privacy protected?

(You choose how your genetic information is used and shared with others).

It then goes on to say :-

We tell you how those choices are implemented and how we collect, use and disclose your information.

which seems contradictory as compared to their first sentence. I, personally, would contact them and ask why this is so, and therefore please clarify.

Malky
Title: Re: I need to block/remove a relative but cant
Post by: Craclyn on Wednesday 17 April 19 08:13 BST (UK)
Janeeliza999, Read the privacy options carefully before making your decision. If you decide to make yourself anonymous by opting out of DNA Relatives then none of your matches will see you and you will not see any matches. I think that will just leave you with your health reports, so you will have wasted your money on testing at 23andme from a genealogy viewpoint.
Title: Re: I need to block/remove a relative but cant
Post by: Kiltpin on Wednesday 17 April 19 10:16 BST (UK)
.
 

Hi janeeliza, 

Most family trees have members who are "sub-optimal". People who have faced the courts, or the Court of Public Opinion, and found to be wanting. Many of us have murders and rapists and abusers of all sorts and embezzlers and wife beaters and sexual deviants and national traitors and common thieves in the main trunk, or on a distant branch. I have so many adulterers and adulteresses in my tree that anyone would believe that it was a national sport and they were all competing to get on the team! 

The point being that you cannot choose your relatives - for good or for ill, they are related. You might not want to have any contact with the protagonist, the one who has committed the great sin, but why punish everybody else, who are innocent parties? 

I do hope that you will re-consider. 

Regards 

Chas
Title: Re: I need to block/remove a relative but cant
Post by: sugarfizzle on Friday 19 April 19 14:42 BST (UK)
You have a disagreement with someone, as you have every right to do. You do not want contact with them, and you say they will never contact you.

So what is the problem?

The fact that you share DNA with this match is irrefutable and both of you might gain from the match, if you so wished.

My cousin has matches that I don't have, they might or might not enable me to break down a brick wall. If I didn't get on with her for whatever reason, I could still gain by being a match with her.

I don't put any personal information on my profile that anyone can see, so you don't have to.

Unless you opt out of matching, as others have said, you have to accept her.

At Ancestry DNA you can hide matches if you wish, i.e. can send them to a virtual dustbin, which however never gets emptied and can be viewed again at any time.

Reading the FAQ's, I quote :-

How is my privacy protected?

(You choose how your genetic information is used and shared with others).

It then goes on to say :-

We tell you how those choices are implemented and how we collect, use and disclose your information.

which seems contradictory as compared to their first sentence. I, personally, would contact them and ask why this is so, and therefore please clarify.

Malky

I think it means that you don't have to share DNA details with your matches, but cannot choose on an individual basis, you have to opt out of sharing with everybody

Regards Margaret