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England (Counties as in 1851-1901) => England => Topic started by: BuddysMummy on Friday 15 February 19 10:04 GMT (UK)
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I don't know if anyone can help me. I wonder if there is any way of seeing part of the hospital records of my mother from 1958? I think there's a 100 year limit, but might it be waived for exceptional circumstances? Are they likely to even exist?
My mother died in Redhill Hospital in Surrey on 1958. I was 2yrs old.
I was always told that I had killed her (i know, right?) and assumed it was the pregnancy which had led to her ill health and subsequent death. However I have found letters which detail that I was alone with her at home for several hours after she had collapsed. Also that I was carrying a knife when we were found.
I am now haunted by the thought of what little Annette might have done in innocence, to try to wake mum up.
Is there any hope of finding the truth? There is no one still alive who would know
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Have you got her death certificate giving cause of death? That might put your mind at rest :)
I don't know who told you it was your fault but in my humble opinion that was wrong of them.
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Her certificate gives the underlying conditions as the cause of death, but my concern is that I may have inflicted wounds on her as I tried to wake her. Not significant in causing death, but still.....
More than one member of the very dysfunctional family felt it was ok to say those things in my hearing. I know it shouldn't matter really. Even if I did wound her it wasn't intended as harm, but I'm starting to obsess about it at times.
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Her death was definitely not your fault, whatever you did or didn't do age two, as the death certificate confirms. But you went through an extremely traumatic event at a young age and that haunts you. You might consider some counselling to talk things over, if you've not already
Here is the information on the records held for that period
http://discovery.nationalarchives.gov.uk/details/r/6b446b4f-f946-49b7-8b07-a92342f86d1d
You could contact the Surrey History Centre
http://discovery.nationalarchives.gov.uk/details/a/A13531418
but even if you get permission it sounds as if the records might well be illegible
Wishing you (and little Annette) well
Jan
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As it is obviously preying on your mind and affecting your well being, your Doctor may be a good place to start. If wounding was a contributory factor, I would have thought that would have been included on the death certificate.
Carol
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I agree with TreeTotal, you need to speak to your own doctor explain what you were told and the affect it is having on you. You need to resolve the matter and your doctor is the best person to advise you in all aspects.
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Unexplained/suspicious deaths would probably have been subject to a Coroner's Report. Such records are closed for a period of, I believe, 70 years.
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Thank you.
I’m sorry, this probably sounds totally illogical. I don’t really think I killed her, nor really contributed to her death. I would just like to know if I had done anything with that knife to try to wake her.
It doesn’t prey on my mind all the time but I would like to put the sense of unease to bed.
I’m just wondering if it might be possible to see the records....
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I did get permission to view my g grandfather's mental health records before the 100 years were up but had to get written permission from the current mental health trust and show it to the Records Office. So I think it would be worth contacting the Surrey History Centre, you won't lose anything by asking them.
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You, as a patient, can ask your G.P. to check her records as it is adversly affecting you... You might not get the records but G.P. should be able to!
Talk to your Doctor!
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I agree with others, please speak to your doctor. You are carrying a huge burden and deserve to have it lifted. What a terrible event to have suffered, so sad.
Pat
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BuddysMummy - I see you live in Australia and your own Mum died in the UK. Whether this helps or hinders your search I don't know. With some requests to archives in the UK I feel that I have been sent records which otherwise I may have had to obtain in person or pay for. Different situation from yours though as they were much older records.
I think that the first thing you need to try to find out is if the hospital records do still exist and where they are located. Someone with more knowledge will be able to advise you who to contact. With everything transferred to digital these days, would hospital records from that era still be kept and stored for so long?
I would say though that if you don't happen to get the answers you want first try, keep going. It is easy for busy people probably working in the National Health Service to just dismiss queries like this as it is easier for them. Possibly understandable. However, keep pushing - you may find a very helpful sympathetic person who is willing to go the extra mile to help you.
If you find that the records survive but they are reluctant to give you a copy, perhaps a letter from your GP mentioning that your health is suffering due to this playing on your mind, may help?
Best of luck and don't take no for an answer! If one person tells you the records are no longer held or not available, ask someone else. You may find they give you a different answer. :)
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My heart goes out to you. I haven't anything to add regarding gaining access to historical records but I do want to try to lessen your current train of thoughts about the circumstances.
Your description of the little two year old you absolutely reminded me of my offspring when she was a two year old little girl. She imitated everything I did. I have one photo of the time I'd taken the baby and her for a picnic down by the river, as I was spreading the blanket to sit upon, she said "baby's crying". I looked up to see her climbing up into the pram where she promptly put the teat of the baby's prepared milk bottle into his mouth - she was only 15 months old.
Thus, I think you probably had to try to feed yourself and/or tried to give your poorly mummy a little tidbit of food to make her better. As well as using a knife to cut bread, cake, or spread something, I also use a knife to cut open packets of food such as a packet of biscuits. Then, of course, there's the scenario that your mum had dropped the knife and you'd picked it up at some point. You shouldn't blame your two year old self.
I do encourage you to speak with your doctor before your thoughts completely take over.
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I don't know if anyone can help me. I wonder if there is any way of seeing part of the hospital records of my mother from 1958? I think there's a 100 year limit, but might it be waived for exceptional circumstances? Are they likely to even exist?
My mother died in Redhill Hospital in Surrey on 1958. I was 2yrs old.
I was always told that I had killed her (i know, right?) and assumed it was the pregnancy which had led to her ill health and subsequent death. However I have found letters which detail that I was alone with her at home for several hours after she had collapsed. Also that I was carrying a knife when we were found.
I am now haunted by the thought of what little Annette might have done in innocence, to try to wake mum up.
Is there any hope of finding the truth? There is no one still alive who would know
You mention you were home alone with your mum before she was found, the more important time period is what happened after that. Did you stay at home, did you stay with relatives or were you taken into care?
It is highly likely, in those days, if there was the slightest suggestion that you were responsible for your mother's death you would have been taken into "care".
I obviously have not read the letters you refer to but it sounds to me that the writer was blaming the pregnancy plus the effort required to look after an infant with little help from a husband who worked rather than anything you had done.
Many women had a difficult pregnancy and birthing of their children, high numbers had little or no prenatal care and huge numbers had no postnatal care. In many cases the midwife was a local woman who had no medical training but but was looked upon as a safe pair of hands in the locality.
Rather than trying to access your mother's medical records, I would suggest accessing your own early medical records under the Freedom of Information Act to see if you underwent any mental health investigation as an infant.
I am confident that you would find nothing of concern in your records and that may dispel your fears.
Cheers
Guy
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Excellent idea Guy. :)
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Thank you all for your help. I will try to find out. Distance really is an issue.
Guy, I went to live with grandparents after that, until my grandmother died when I was four and I returned to my Father. I don't think anyone would have been looking at my mental health.
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Thank you all for your help. I will try to find out. Distance really is an issue.
Guy, I went to live with grandparents after that, until my grandmother died when I was four and I returned to my Father. I don't think anyone would have been looking at my mental health.
That supports the view you had nothing whatsoever to do with your mother's death.
If there was even the slightest suspicion you were in any way involved with it you would have been placed in secure accommodation.
Cheers
Guy