RootsChat.Com
General => The Common Room => Topic started by: rachelralph on Saturday 02 April 16 19:35 BST (UK)
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a long time ago i started my family research, i found rootschat and my research became so much more fun. other people were interested in this too! i had people to help me and more importantly people who i could share the frustrations with. then i became pregnant and my world fell apart for a lot of reasons. i disappeared from rootschat and couldn't face the idea of ever doing family research again. i didn't thank anyone here or tell anyone where i was going or why. in fact even now I'm back doing this i still haven't told many people what happened in my life despite a lot of fellow rootschatters almost becoming daily electronic penpals.
anyway on Monday 21st March at 6.20am my grandmother passed away. i was with her along with my sister and my mum. it was one of the hardest things i have ever lived through. my granmother had lung cancer and had decided very early on she wanted no intervention or fussing when the time came. we respected her wishes and it was very peaceful and calm, but so so traumatic for us. since then i have struggled with normal functioning, most days i get through it because of my children and husband. people tell me it will get easier and i have no doubt it might. if not easier to accept at least easier to live with.
this time i didn't want to just leave and not say thank you to everyone who has helped me. there are so many of you who have helped me with my research but also with some more personal problems. i will come back and do family research one day I'm sure. i just don't think i can face it now. not for a long while i would think. i cant imagine logging into any of my trees and filling in those devastating details.
thank you to everyone who has helped me encouraged me or even just laughed with me at my daft ways.
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Oh, Rachel, so very sorry to hear your news. We all feel for you. We will hold you in our hearts, our circle & our minds & will welcome you back when you feel ready.
Josey
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Hi Rachel
So sorry to hear your news.
You don't have to apologise for not being here as often as you'd like, after all, we all have lives out in the real world and many chatters seek refuge here, to take their minds off what might be going on in their lives, whether it's illness, bereavement or just day to day living.
Come back when you feel you can.
If you feel overwhelmed by the email notifictions, you can turn them off via your profile.
http://www.rootschat.com/forum/index.php?action=profile;area=notification;u=131999
Take care for now.
Dawn
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I am one of those who has interacted with you and I am really sorry to hear about your grandmother. However, in face of many difficult times myself, I have always found my research something that gives me strength and keeps me grounded. I understand why you may wish a break to come to terms with what has happened, but please don't give up your research. Finding out about our ancestors gives their life meaning and enriches ours.
Isobel
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I'm so sorry to hear your news Rachel, it's always difficult to lose a loved one.
Please think twice before cutting yourself off from Rootschat, I've found as I know that others have, that it's a haven to get away from the real world. It is often easier to "talk" to people that you don't actually know and who you will probably never meet.
As to adding details of your grandmother to your tree, my advice at the moment would be don't until you feel ready. I didn't add my mother's death until fairly recently even though she died 7 years ago.
Whatever you decide, I hope that all goes well.
Take care
Jan
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Hi Rachel
So sorry to hear your news. I lost my mum 18 months ago to lung cancer and completely understand how you feel - I really wasn't sure I could face family history when the abstract of a family death had overnight become horribly painfully real.
Take all of the time you need, grief is different for everyone and nothing you should ever have to explain or apologise for.
If I could give you a hug right now I would x