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General => The Common Room => Topic started by: rachelralph on Friday 18 March 16 09:21 GMT (UK)

Title: reasonably well known relative.
Post by: rachelralph on Friday 18 March 16 09:21 GMT (UK)
i decided that the only way i was going to find out the mysteries surrounding some of my ancestors was to start with what i knew and work from there. i knew who my great nanny was and i knew all of her siblings. i also knew most of her siblings spouses. there are lots of mysteries like where did so and so go? why did they change their name? how did they get there etc. my idea was to trace each sibling and follow the line down to each living descendant and then maybe contact them saying "hello we have a shared great great grandfather, do you know anything about...."

the thing is now i have come across as living person who is reasonably well known. ie his name does appear in the papers from time to time and he is definitely well known within his own circle. i didnt realise who he was at first. i found him on fb and sent him a message hoping he would see it and get back to me. i then went away and had a look online for any info about this person (nosy i guess) as soon as i googled his name loads came up about his achievements and his career, plus some newspaper stories about him.

i now feel like a complete wally because when i messaged him i didnt realise this and i just prattled on and on about who i was and who our shared ancestor was and what info i would love to have if he knew it. i didnt for one minute think he was possibly who he is. now i dont know whether to message him again telling him im not some freak who randomly messages people. i dont want him to think im a stalker or anything haha.

so what should i do?
Title: Re: reasonably well known relative.
Post by: lizdb on Friday 18 March 16 09:27 GMT (UK)
Wait and see if he responds , just the same as you would if you hadn't found he was "famous".

If your research thus far that you have shared with him is sound, and if he has any interest in pursuing it, then the fact that he is "famous" should make no difference at all to this, should it?

If, after a while (and, like any of us he may of course be a busy man) , you get no response then you will need to think if or how you will follow it up - the same as if you didn't get a response but had not discovered his "fame".
Title: Re: reasonably well known relative.
Post by: Marmalady on Friday 18 March 16 09:31 GMT (UK)
Agree with Liz

Just wait and see if he responds

If he is interested in your shared ancestry, he will reply, if he isn't, he won't

His fame has nothing to do with your relationship -- and for all you know he might be thrilled receiving a communication that treats him just like any other "normal" person!
Title: Re: reasonably well known relative.
Post by: clairec666 on Friday 18 March 16 09:43 GMT (UK)
He probably hasn't seen your message to be honest, it'll get lost amongst the other "wallies" messaging him for other reasons!

Maybe he's seen your message, and isn't interested in genealogy, in which case, more fool him. He doesn't know what he's missing :)

Hopefully some of the other relatives you've found will be able to help you instead.
Title: Re: reasonably well known relative.
Post by: rachelralph on Friday 18 March 16 10:10 GMT (UK)
i hadnt really thought of it like this. i was so caught up in "Blimey hes famous" that i hadnt really stopped to think that actually hes just human too. daft teenage moment there i guess  ::) ;D

sadly there is no one left to answer any questions. well actually there might be but if there is i cant find them seeing as a few of the gentleman dissappered in the 1950's. they most likely have new lives with new children somehwere but i dont think i will ever find them.

hopefully this person will get back to me.
Title: Re: reasonably well known relative.
Post by: clairec666 on Friday 18 March 16 10:13 GMT (UK)
There's always a chance he'll sign up for Who Do You Think You Are.... then all your questions may be answered!
Title: Re: reasonably well known relative.
Post by: StevieSteve on Friday 18 March 16 12:46 GMT (UK)
I've got a similar problem in that one of my relatives is quite high up in the academic world and the only contact address I've seen is one at the University. I've started writing a mail but have come to the conclusion that there's too fine a line between legitimate family history research and stalking when it comes to living relatives

Here's my draft:

Dear Prof X, hope you don't mind me using your work email

My name's StevieSteve and I'm researching our family tree. I'm actually your 2nd cousin once removed. It may sound remote but in fact my Mum went to your 21st birthday party though she didn't enjoy it. Or like you very much, to be honest.

I wonder if it would be possible to meet up as I'd really like some insight into your side of the family.

I see your daughter is back to using her maiden name. Didn't the marriage work out or is there another reason?

Looks like your granddaughter is having fun at university according to her facebook page! You must be very proud. Well, most of the time, anyway :-)

Look forward to hearing from you



Think it might need a tweak or two.
Title: Re: reasonably well known relative.
Post by: Mike in Cumbria on Friday 18 March 16 12:50 GMT (UK)
I've got a similar problem in that one of my relatives is quite high up in the academic world and the only contact address I've seen is one at the University. I've started writing a mail but have come to the conclusion that there's too fine a line between legitimate family history research and stalking when it comes to living relatives

Here's my draft:

Dear Prof X, hope you don't mind me using your work email

My name's StevieSteve and I'm researching our family tree. I'm actually your 2nd cousin once removed. It may sound remote but in fact my Mum went to your 21st birthday party though she didn't enjoy it. Or like you very much, to be honest.

I wonder if it would be possible to meet up as I'd really like some insight into your side of the family.

I see your daughter is back to using her maiden name. Didn't the marriage work out or is there another reason?

Looks like your granddaughter is having fun at university according to her facebook page! You must be very proud. Well, most of the time, anyway :-)

Look forward to hearing from you



Think it might need a tweak or two.

That should work.
Title: Re: reasonably well known relative.
Post by: davidft on Friday 18 March 16 13:10 GMT (UK)

My name's StevieSteve and I'm researching our family tree. I'm actually your 2nd cousin once removed. It may sound remote but in fact my Mum went to your 21st birthday party though she didn't enjoy it. Or like you very much, to be honest.

I wonder if it would be possible to meet up as I'd really like some insight into your side of the family.

I see your daughter is back to using her maiden name. Didn't the marriage work out or is there another reason?

Looks like your granddaughter is having fun at university according to her facebook page! You must be very proud. Well, most of the time, anyway :-)


Think it might need a tweak or two.

I would be absolutely horrified if i got a message along those lines. Its very rude and doesn't convey a very good impression of you in my opinion.

As to a tweak I would suggest just bin it and if you really want to contact the person start again.
Title: Re: reasonably well known relative.
Post by: jaybelnz on Friday 18 March 16 13:20 GMT (UK)
DavidFT - lighten up ....have a coffee .. Don't be horrified - it's a bit of humour!
Title: Re: reasonably well known relative.
Post by: davidft on Friday 18 March 16 13:40 GMT (UK)
DavidFT - lighten up ....have a coffee .. Don't be horrified - it's a bit of humour!

Oh well the jokes on me in that case.  :-[
Title: Re: reasonably well known relative.
Post by: clairec666 on Friday 18 March 16 13:51 GMT (UK)
I think StevieSteve's tongue was firmly in his cheek there..... but yes, a tweak or two may be necessary :)
Title: Re: reasonably well known relative.
Post by: Greensleeves on Friday 18 March 16 14:09 GMT (UK)
I loved Stevie's 'draft letter' - brilliant,  I am still laughing  ;D
Title: Re: reasonably well known relative.
Post by: Jebber on Friday 18 March 16 14:21 GMT (UK)
I loved Stevie's 'draft letter' - brilliant,  I am still laughing  ;D
[/q


I like  a joke as much as anyone and consider I have a broad sense of humour, but I don't think Stevie's 'draft letter' was an appropriate response to a serious post.

Jebber
Title: Re: reasonably well known relative.
Post by: Cas (stallc) on Friday 18 March 16 14:31 GMT (UK)
There's always a chance he'll sign up for Who Do You Think You Are.... then all your questions may be answered!

:) you never know
Title: Re: reasonably well known relative.
Post by: rachelralph on Friday 18 March 16 14:47 GMT (UK)
I found Steve's post funny  ;D  ;D

It does bring me nicely though onto what exactly I can tell or should tell this person. He is by no means famous but known within his field quite well and has appeared in some famous circles. What I tell him wouldn't ruin his career or anything but its not the greatest story I have to tell.

Hello I don't know you and you might think I'm a weirdo but we're related. Our great great grandfather was rather famous, for thriving all the jewllers in the Knightsbridge London area. Your own great grandfather was also well known for being a thug and a thief., along with his sister my great grandmother who was given to complete meltdowns and hissy fits and at one time stole a load of ration boks and sold them on, leaving her kids hungry?

Not entirely sure he's going to want to hear all I have to say but unfortunately none of what I know of out shared ancestry is any good.
Title: Re: reasonably well known relative.
Post by: scotmum on Friday 18 March 16 16:22 GMT (UK)


Not entirely sure he's going to want to hear all I have to say but unfortunately none of what I know of out shared ancestry is any good.

You could always say something along the lines of:

 'Whilst thoroughly enjoying my fascinating hobby of family history research, I very quickly came to the realisation that I would have to accept my ancestors as I found them, warts and all. Being this way open-minded has led me to many interesting discoveries that I may otherwise have never been aware of, and which, good or bad, I have accepted are all threads which go to make up the rich and varied tapestry that is life. In any tapestry, even the less 'good quality' threads or stitches still help complete the whole picture.'


 :)
Title: Re: reasonably well known relative.
Post by: rachelralph on Friday 18 March 16 16:32 GMT (UK)
youve done this before scotsmum :)
Title: Re: reasonably well known relative.
Post by: groom on Friday 18 March 16 17:20 GMT (UK)
Has he got any children who are not famous, if so another way might be to contact them? My father always claimed that his second cousin was someone who was well known and often appeared on television. I didn't really believe this ( although they did share the same shaped nose!) but then I found the connection - his grandmother was my father's grandmother's sister.

I found a tree on Ancestry and contacted his daughter. She was delighted to share information and I don't think we've once mentioned her famous father, sadly deceased now.
Title: Re: reasonably well known relative.
Post by: Primrose11 on Friday 18 March 16 20:10 GMT (UK)
There are some great posts on his thread! Serious and not serious.

 All I can add is that there is a reasonably famous person with my family surname who comes from the same city as my ancestors..I emailed him to ask if he had done any family tree research and got no reply.
Title: Re: reasonably well known relative.
Post by: alanmack on Friday 18 March 16 21:00 GMT (UK)
I found a tree on Ancestry and contacted his daughter. She was delighted to share information and I don't think we've once mentioned her famous father, sadly deceased now.

This is exactly my experience and is to be recommended. It certainly worked for me.

alanmack
Title: Re: reasonably well known relative.
Post by: 3sillydogs on Saturday 19 March 16 06:44 GMT (UK)
I loved Stevie's 'draft letter' - brilliant,  I am still laughing  ;D

 ;D ;D

and Scotmum's  "tweaking" of RR's letter ;D

But seriously, it's the chance you take when you contact someone, you may be ignored.  I contacted a relative (and he's not even remotely famous) and got no reply and all I wanted to know was  if he knew what had happened to my ggrandfather who seems to have vanished off the face of the earth.  Probably another scandal that the family is trying to keep buried   ::) ;D
Title: Re: reasonably well known relative.
Post by: whiteout7 on Saturday 19 March 16 07:27 GMT (UK)
I have famous relatives. Strangely when someone mentioned it online a close friends of those famous people (who is not famous) said they get tons of mail from 'relatives' and find it so overwhelming they don't research any, lol!

I though fair enough, I will just keep on plugging on alone. Fortunately my line goes back parrallel to theirs for ages (which I didn't know originally). So they couldn't have helped anyway.

So I'm glad I didn't add to their junk mail :)