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General => The Common Room => Topic started by: Milliepede on Tuesday 20 May 14 15:42 BST (UK)
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Was it the usual custom for husbands and wives to be buried together?
I ask because I have a husband dying before his second wife but she is not buried with him.
Nor is she buried with her first husband.
What would it depend on, their wishes, their religion or simply "no room at the Inn"
Any thoughts appreciated :)
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We've found often with second wives that they may be, if not with husband:
a) in a plot with their own parents.
b) with their own second husband, who they married after the death of the first one
c) with one or more children of the second marriage
- And in some cases, simply in the (newish) local cemetery, because the graveyard to the church they used had been filled/ closed.
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It might depend on the family's finances too. If there was no money and a pauper's grave was used, that would mean that family members weren't buried together.
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They were both widowers when they married later in life so they had no children together.
He died 1861 and was buried in a churchyard, she died in 1864 and is buried in a cemetery.
First husband died 1843 and is buried in a different churchyard.
I don't know who her parents were so don't know where they are buried but two children from her first marriage are buried in the same cemetery as her albeit in different graves.
Finances I'm sure would have been an issue, they weren't well off far as I can tell.
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It would also depend on what they paid for the first grave!
If it was intended to take 2 caskets, then it had to be dug deeper - and that cost more.
Similarly, if a double grave was bought - with room for 2 side-by-side.
These things had to be planned in advance.
My grandparents had a 4-person grave; My grandmother's parents, my grandmother and my grandfather.
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"My grandparents had a 4-person grave; My grandmother's parents, my grandmother and my grandfather."
...uuummmm just about need a building and town planning permit for your lot then??? ;D
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There are 4 people in my Grandfathers plot also, my Grandparents, one of their daughters and my Grandmothers second husband!
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My grandparents were cremated, the ashes of my grandfather are buried in a family plot, my grandmother was scattered around the village where she grew up.
(I don't think she wanted to be with her M-I-L) ;D
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I have an odd one , I think it's odd anyway. The man is buried with his first wife and the second wife is buried in the next grave beside them.
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My great grandmother, has her two husbands and one son in one plot and she is on her own...after several children and 2 husbands she probably wanted the peace and quiet :P
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It would be interesting to see the original requirements of the plots and lairs which had been bought by each family.
Coincidentally there were cases cited this month in the Hull Daily Mail which shows human error:-
<< .... "As we prepared to bury my mother, M Garton & Son funeral directors, which I have to say have been fantastic, told me, 'You do realise that your mother will be the last one to be buried in this plot, don't you?'
"I said, 'No. It's for four people and I'll be that fourth person one day, joining my parents and aunt in the plot'.
Miss T---- says the funeral director explained to her that her aunt had not been buried deep enough in the plot.
She said: "My mother would be mortified. She would be absolutely devastated.
"The reason my aunt, who was my mother's sister, was buried in the plot was because we all thought there would be another space for me.
"My mother wanted me to be buried with her and my father.">>