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General => The Common Room => The Lighter Side => Topic started by: Helina on Friday 22 November 13 15:28 GMT (UK)

Title: Politeness costs nothing.............
Post by: Helina on Friday 22 November 13 15:28 GMT (UK)
After ordering and receiving a death certificate I found out that I had been researching the wrong person.   As I had given the previous information to a GenesReunited member awhile back thought I had better contact him.   
Have I had a reply no.  What has happened to politeness these days.

Do other rootschat members found the same problem

helina
Title: Re: Politeness costs nothing.............
Post by: Victor Harvey on Friday 22 November 13 15:59 GMT (UK)
Hi Helina,
Yes, I too have found this on GenesReunited, hence resigning from the website. RootsChatters are generally more well behaved, although there are a few recalcitrants. No names no packdrill!
Victor
Title: Re: Politeness costs nothing.............
Post by: Treetotal on Friday 22 November 13 16:10 GMT (UK)
I agree...I closed my membership as sharing seemed to be a one way street...In many cases I shared my tree and got nothing back...not even a thank you  ::)
Carol
Title: Re: Politeness costs nothing.............
Post by: Greensleeves on Friday 22 November 13 16:19 GMT (UK)
I found the same on Genes Reunited; plenty of requests for me to share my tree but no response to queries.  Shame really.
Title: Re: Politeness costs nothing.............
Post by: joolsk on Friday 22 November 13 16:26 GMT (UK)
I have also found the same and Genes Reunited has long gone in this house
Title: Re: Politeness costs nothing.............
Post by: Helina on Friday 22 November 13 18:28 GMT (UK)
I am only a standard member and have had a few good contacts .  I could easily not of bothered imforming him what I have found.

helina
Title: Re: Politeness costs nothing.............
Post by: carol8353 on Friday 22 November 13 18:42 GMT (UK)
The trouble with Genes Reunited is that membership only lasts 6 months and if you don't wish to spend out and you choose to cancel you don't get notified if anyone has tried to message you.
Title: Re: Politeness costs nothing.............
Post by: LizzieW on Friday 22 November 13 23:28 GMT (UK)
You can look on your sent messages on Genes to see if the sender has opened your message or not.  Envelope closed, not been opened, envelope open message has been opened and - presumably - read.
Title: Re: Politeness costs nothing.............
Post by: mofid42 on Saturday 23 November 13 00:04 GMT (UK)
The lack of politeness is not just confined to Genes, it happens all over the place, including on forums, mailing lists and Face Book.

I use "A" and I am not exaggerating when I say 4 out of 5 people to whom I've sent information and/or media never thank me. In fact recently the only person who has bothered to thank me was someone whom I could not help.

I'm also fed up with the standard of messages I receive. Many are very poorly constructed with so little identifying information I have to write and ask to whom they are referring. I recently received one with just a surname, a common one at that!!  ;)

I've even had opening messages demanding a gedcom of my tree with the qualifying statement  .... "so I can add it to mine"....all this before any link has been established :o

Many are so rude and demanding and amount to little more than "You have what I want, give it to me NOW" ....no please or thankyou's included of course.

None of that type of behaviour makes me want to willingly share :(
Title: Re: Politeness costs nothing.............
Post by: Helina on Saturday 23 November 13 06:05 GMT (UK)
Carol, thanks for the bit of information, I have had a look and the PM has not been opened so in time?  but as a whole once the information they want and been obtained that's it. I do not expect long correspondence but just to say they found it useful or not may be the case, a plain thank you would go a long way.

Correspondence on ancestry I find worse, I have contacted tree owners with no reply at all.

But after saying that I have had some very good contacts from both sites, and I can say honestly that any contact I have made with a rootschater I have had a reply.

I am appalled at some of your replies Carol, how can some people be so rude or thoughtless.
helina
Title: Re: Politeness costs nothing.............
Post by: Meezer on Saturday 23 November 13 09:45 GMT (UK)
 
The lack of politeness is not just confined to Genes, it happens all over the place, including on forums, mailing lists and Face Book.

I'm also fed up with the standard of messages I receive. Many are very poorly constructed with so little identifying information I have to write and ask to whom they are referring. I recently received one with just a surname, a common one at that!!  ;)



Yes, I think the internet and mobile phones have a lot to answer for. Who writes letters these days? People dash off a quick email or sit on their mobiles using "text speak". There doesn't seem to be any thought for grammar or spelling any more and I wonder if people realise just how rude they can then appear?
Title: Re: Politeness costs nothing.............
Post by: Annui on Saturday 23 November 13 16:33 GMT (UK)
I've had no experience of Genes Reunited website, but, as others have mentioned, lack of politeness is becoming more common generally these days.  One Christmas a couple of years ago I  composed....I dunno...essays including everything I'd found on family history during an intense spell of research.   I sent, along with Christmas cards, copies of my work to two cousins, one from each side of my family,  both around my own age, both of whom have offspring (I do not).  I hoped that they would enjoy knowing a little about our family history, as I had, and pass the information on to their families.

I was very surprised, and quite sad, that I received not a single acknowledgement - never mind a thank you!

"Thank you" seem to be the hardest words now!

Title: Re: Politeness costs nothing.............
Post by: louisa maud on Saturday 23 November 13 17:19 GMT (UK)
It seems the lack of good manners is not just confined to these boards, although, I must say I have had my share over the years from people who I have helped.

If anyone shows me a lack of  manners when I have taken the trouble and time to help them, I do not help them again, we give of our own time to help, willingly, I have had wonderful help on here and also given help

I gave one person a whole lot of my family history only to see it on their own tree publicly, they did not ask permission to put it out there.

Having been to so many funerals over the last year or so and given very generous donations towards whatever the bereaved family want, we have had no thank you replies, I always thought that a card was sent to say thankyou in memory of the deceased, but it does not appear to be so

Manners cost nothing, what's the saying, "manners maketh man "?

Louisa Maud