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General => The Common Room => Topic started by: Ewan on Saturday 17 March 12 13:31 GMT (UK)
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Does anyone have experience in their family history of a bride marrying at 50, the groom being 40 (the fact that the bride was 50 and not the age gap)? I ask this because I have found what is the possibility of the marriage of a live in partner of my great granddad whose death was in 1910 and this marriage in 1916 to another man. I have not sent for this marriage certificate as yet as I am still debating whether it is the correct lady or not.
Any experiences welcomed with thanks.
Ewan
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Yes. I have a GG grandmother who married her second husband when she was 53 and he was 39. She gives her age as 49 on the certificate. :)
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Yes, quite a few examples of that - sometimes with one partner giving the wrong age for the certificate (I don't think there has ever been a requirement to "prove" your age at marriage) to make the age gap look less.
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Hi Ewan
Particularly common where one of them had been married before,and was just waiting for the original spouse to 'pop off' as it were ;D
Carol
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Thanks everyone for your experiences, I have wondered what happened to the live in partner after the death of my great granddad, but obviously after 1911 there is not much to go on. I didn't really think of a marriage but there was one that appeared in records online and it did make me question it, just wasn't sure about the age bit.
Thanks again. :)
Ewan
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Particularly common where one of them had been married before,and was just waiting for the original spouse to 'pop off' as it were ;D
Er, well in my example I don't think he had actually fallen off the perch ;D because he turns up again in a couple of later records. Whether she knew, or genuinely believed him to be dead, is something we may never know for sure. Oddly she is described on the second marriage cert as a spinster although she married in her first husband's surname, and it clearly doesn't match her father's name which is correct as given.
All of which is another example that certificates don't always tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth! So if you decide to get this MC, Ewan, keep an open mind.
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Have you checked to see if there are any children born to the marriage in 1916? Freebmd may show some possibles which might disprove your theory. Only the certificate will give positive proof though.
Andrea
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If you are referring to a bride marrying for the first time, then I have one. My grandfather's first cousin married for the first time at the age of 73. Don't know what that was about.....
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Pinefamily - one of my greataunts had a similar story. Married early 20's and widowed a few years later with a young child. Then she didn't remarry until she was 82! I believe it was also about companionship and common sense - they were very good friends, and there was no good reason for two elderly people to keep up two big houses between them.
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My g/aunt who was a confirmed spinster suddenly upped and married age 71!!! She and her husband (she was his 3rd wife) were happily married for about 15 years until he died. Then sadly she died 18 months ago age 93. And I was informed by her close friend that they had had an active 'life'. She was not returned unopened!!!!
Her sister also married for the first time in her early 50's and was happily married for nearly 40 years until the death of her husband and she died about 3 years ago also age 93.
Nothing now shocks me 8)
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One of my GGgrandmothers remarried aged 51 to a man 12 years younger. He was a bachelor, so I would have to suppose that he was not hoping for children.
His younger brother married GGgrandmother's daughter - so her mother was also her sister in law.
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Within my lifetime, my mother's first cousin married for the first time at the age of 68
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I don't know what sort of year some of your experiences refer to, but I think that nowadays and for some considerable time people have been marrying a lot later in life for whatever reason. Someone in my family is marrying again this year after being widowed ten years ago and they will be aged 57.
Pinefamily I wasn't necessary referring to the bride marrying for the first time, as I don't know as yet whether this bride had been married before, but that is really interesting to know of one at 73.
Good idea sillgen about children being born, unfortunately this family history is from the Isle of Man. I did look to see if there were any births that may have fitted the bill, there wasn't any but then the bmds online from the Isle of Man are not so extensive and full as freebmd.
Quite right Sloe Gin, you can't always go on what it says on certificates and censuses, but hopefully there may be a glimmer of a clue from the certificate.
As mentioned I think I may know who the bride is so it is now a case of sending off for the certificate to see if it can confirm my theory.
Many thanks for your contributions.
Ewan
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Quite right Sloe Gin, you can't always go on what it says on certificates and censuses, but hopefully there may be a glimmer of a clue from the certificate.
As mentioned I think I may know who the bride is so it is now a case of sending off for the certificate to see if it can confirm my theory.
All I meant was don't rule it out if it doesn't say exactly what you think it should, eg the spinster v widow thing. There are mistakes as well as fibs! Good luck with it and I hope it's the right result.
I don't know what sort of year some of your experiences refer to, but I think that nowadays and for some considerable time people have been marrying a lot later in life for whatever reason. Someone in my family is marrying again this year after being widowed ten years ago and they will be aged 57.
I would say that's always been fairly normal - children aside, people marry for much the same reasons they always have: companionship, security, money ;) and even love :o
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There was an old Simon and Garfunkel song which went.."let us be lovers, we'll marry our fortunes together.."
I think marriage was/is often a pooling of resources:
I have many family examples in the 17/1800's of widows + widowers marrying very soon after the death of a spouse, simply ( one assumes) to provide necessary services and financial support for famillies.
In 1913, my widowed grtgrandmother married a local batchelor 12 years her junior. Presumably he needed a lady to keep house for him and she needed housing and food for her children. Tongues would have "wagged" if she had simply moved in with him as Housekeeper- to be his wife was much more "respectable".
No idea if it was a love-match, but certainly it would have been a mutually beneficial arrangement.
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Thanks again for the suggestions Sloe Gin, to be honest I don't know what the details should say, only perhaps the bride was in her early fifties. I am hoping to trace her dad on censuses and then that will be the clue I hope, we will see and I will let you know the outcome.
I ask this because I have found what is the possibility of the marriage of a live in partner of my great granddad whose death was in 1910 and this marriage in 1916 to another man.
Ewan
Long before my great granddad died, living with his partner (of whom I believe this marriage is of) did certainly start tongues wagging, ::) it was certainly mentioned in the local press at the time. I have never found a marriage for them so they obviously just got on with it and did not worry about marrying, although the young lady in question did state his name on the census after he died and also on the death certificate.
Ewan
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"The past is a foreign country: they do things differently there."
I've learned not to be surprised: my ggg grandfather was 49 when he married; ggg grandmother was just 13, as was legal in those days - 1779 in Scotland. I don't think today's society would accept this as being the right thing to do!
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Graham,
That's probably the start of another thread. ;D
Applying today's standards and morals to what we find is fraught with danger.
Darren
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autres temps, autres moeurs.
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My grandfather was 47 when he married for the firs time - he waited until his parents had died before marying. His bride, my grandmother was 45 when she married - her first marriage. Within a year they had their only child, a daughter, my mother.
Another family member was born when his father was 71. Don't know the age of his mother.
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Much younger than these examples I had an ancestor who married when he was 23 his bride was 37 and no it was not a shotgun wedding.
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I think there must be many cases where a less than the usual love-match was made, simply so that people could live together companionably, with perhaps domestic and financial benefits for both parties.
I can recall 2 examples from the 1950/60's in my immediate neighbourhood:
- a spinster in her 50's married a rather fragile chap of delicate health- both seemed happy with arrangement.
- a lad in his late twenties who had always been very asthmatic and delicate wed a lass of similar age who was rather lame, having a pronounced limp. They did not have children but set up a happy, prosperous household.
There were and are many versions of what a Marriage can be.
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Does anyone have experience in their family history of a bride marrying at 50, the groom being 40 (the fact that the bride was 50 and not the age gap)? I ask this because I have found what is the possibility of the marriage of a live in partner of my great granddad whose death was in 1910 and this marriage in 1916 to another man. I have not sent for this marriage certificate as yet as I am still debating whether it is the correct lady or not.
Any experiences welcomed with thanks.
Ewan
We are not exactly helping with the original question here. Examples of marriages of the older people are interesting but perhaps more practical help about how to solve the query?
Andrea
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But that's exactly what the OP asked for - examples. We have supplied them. He is now sufficiently reassured to order the certificate.
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On a practical note, so long as the name isn't that common, then I look to see if there is a death which corresponds to the age of the lady you are looking for under the new name. If her new husband also dies in the same area then it becomes more of a possibility...
Of course this only works if the name isn't that common.... knowing the names Ewan researches, I'm not sure if this would work
marrying a younger model has its merits ;D
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A good suggestion jc26red, fortunately the surname this time is I think quite uncommon, but saying that it is quite common on the Isle of Man where this family history relates to. There is one possible burial for the groom but I don't think it is he because the name is approximately 3 years out, it contains a middle name whereas the groom and his siblings do not appear to have been registered and the chap with the middle name and 3 years out was registered at birth.
The comments on this thread have been very useful and made up my mind about the possibility of a bride marrying someone about 10 years younger than themselves so thank you all for your interest and help. I have sent off for the certificate now so it is just a wait and see period.
I will continue searching for the bride as I have still not been able to find her on any censuses, if anyone feels they can help with a search please feel free.
http://www.rootschat.com/forum/index.php/topic,586244.0.html
A Sarah Alice Harris married in 1905 to John Clucas Kennish Isle of Man
Many thanks
Ewan
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As an update, I have now received the certificate and the bride was aged 24 and not as I was hoping in her fifties.
Thanks again for all input.
Ewan
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Oh, bad luck, Ewan :(
Of course, it wasn't unknown for people to be a bit creative with their age, but I doubt she'd have been able to pull that one off ;D
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Thanks Sloe Gin, yes that is exactly what I thought that the bride would not of got away with being only 24 when she was in her fifties.
Ewan