RootsChat.Com
General => The Common Room => Topic started by: gazza on Monday 16 May 05 14:37 BST (UK)
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sorry if this subject may have been covered somewhere before,but can some of you who have who have had success in writing to potential living rellys show us some of your letters that you composed. Obviously omitting names & addresses of course.
Am in need of some inspiration on how to word these sometimes delicate matters to people plucked out of a phone book.
cheers
Gazza
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Good idea gazza,
I havent had to do this as yet, but know the time is near! I wouldnt mind a few pointers on what to do/what not to do!
Flipster
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I've done it, but so far haven't had a single answer, so I'm perhaps not the best model! Just start with apologies for writing to them out of the blue. Explain exactly what you're doing before they have time to decide you're scamming them, and give them what information you have. Tell them any information you can give them will be confidential. Give contact details and include sae. And apologise again.
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I did precisely this and got one reply, from which countless further progress has been made. As background, my family roots are in Hull, but not forever (as I once thought) but only since 3 brothers moved there from Norfolk in the 1840s.
I started off by apologising in case the letter was not relevant to the reader and then asked if they (like me) thought that their ancestors had all come from Hull and pointed out the Norfolk link, stated how far back I had taken the family history and then offered to share it with them if it turned out they were from the same tree. I gave what information I had at the time, going right up to my own father and wrapped up by saying that if we were related and they had any photos of dead ancestors, that I would love to make copies of these pictures at my own expense.
I think the key is to get enough information in front of them to let them work out for themselves if we are related, but not so much that they don't read it. I am coming to the conclusion that a traditional family tree outline is probably best to use for this purpose.
My current dilemma arises because I now have much more information and could probably get a better hit rate by sharing it in another mailing but am uncertain whether to risk another mass mailing again less than 12 months after the first. I'll probably bumble along for a few more months to find out a bit more for myself before going for another mailing.
A letter is pretty harmless. If they get upset, they can throw it away. Apparently one of my recipients, the widow of my dad's cousin got rather upset but was mollified when she heard my dad's cousin had had the same letter. Be chatty and amusing if that is your style and include SAE. Good luck.
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Hi
I have written, and had a reply, so give it a go ! But I agree with the
SAE, I wrote something along the lines of............
This must be quite strange receiving a letter from a complete stranger, but
I hope you will be able to help me a little with my quest for information....
She wrote back gave me some info, but told me more about her ailments,
but at least she wrote back!
Good luck ;)
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I'll tell you what i did.
I put an advert in the manchester evening news looking for relatives in that area.
I added all the relavant family information with my name, address, telephone number and e-mail address.
I got 2 instant replies and i have now found out about 8 cousins and their families, and have met some of them in person in manchester and at my home (lincolnshire).
I also got phone numbers for my great aunts( who i've never met) and i rang them too. I got a wonderful reception from them and lots of info for my tree.
I have had a very lucky time, unfortunately it does not always go as planned. There are other relatives who i have been looking for for years and i still cannot find them. Maybe they don't want to talk to me?
Good luck with your search and i hope your as lucky as i have been
Best wishes
Pauline
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I did it too.I wrote and told people where I had obtained their address from and the branch of the tree I thought they were connected to.
I sent a snapshot of myself and one or two others of the ancestors I thought they were related to,this made it a bit more personal and I wasn't a faceless name.
I too offered to share the family history I had and was amazed to receive replies (I sent SAE's) in fact I obtained photo's I didn't know existed!!
Good luck
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I have successful contacted two close relatives,
they both had advertised, family interests, ...
so the letters were not completely out the blue,
I quoted that I thought we may be related an gave an example why.
the reason I replied was more than one surname in common in the correct area at the correct time.
I have now met both on numerous occassion and we share information.
One relative had gone a differnt route than myself.
I went the census/ polling records route and they had gone through BMDs.
These relatives were only 2nd or 3rd cousins.
Others I have contacted have been more distant, and I did this through the web (posting).
Jonks
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I received a copy of a copy of a letter from someone researching the same family as me. I asked the person who had sent me the letter if she thought the authoress of the original letter would welcome a letter from me. I waited some time for an answer and, knowing she (my contact) was tied up with revision and exams consulted others engaged in family history research. Each thought that they would welcome a letter and so I decided to proceed: I sent a letter that answered all the questions contained in her original letter and added much more. Well... sometime after, I received a rather sniffy reply. BUT, she was intrigued and, having spent some years (and quite a lot of expense) researching the family, could not resist finding out more. We have now overcome our initial difficulties and regularly exchange information, certificates, and so on. In fact, I'm not quite exaggerating when I say that I am working almost full time on her enquiries! We also speak fairly often on the phone, exchanging modern day family news. So there you are. My advice is take the risk. The worse that can happen is a "No" but if you don't ask you'll never get a "Yes".
Deborah
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Interesting replies folks.Thanks all. I was wondering wether it were possible or somebody was willing to create a standard letter that we all could share . Cut ,paste & copy ,insert names as required. Might not be as easy as it sounds though. Could be tailored to individual needs though.
pauline- i hope I dont get any phone calls from my great aunts ,as they are all deceased. Then again , having said that ,I'm sure the roots chat urge will come to the fore and use the situation to our advantage! ;D
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Hi Gazza
I knew that this subject had been mentioned before but couldn't remember where.
Anyway, after searching Rootschat I have found the relevant link for you -
http://www.rootschat.com/forum/index.php/topic,29558.0.html
There is an excellent letter that Amy K has written.
Hope it is of some help, and good luck.
Jan
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Thanks Jan,nice one. Rootschatters think of everything ;)
Whats the weather going to be like next week at 3pm? I bet theres a thread with the correct answer already here somewhere ..lol ;D ;D
Cheers all again,
Gazza
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Gazza,
I'm searching for the weather thread now................... LOL LOL
Jan
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Well, I've gawn and dun it now.
1st letter composed & sent. Hope it is the right person.......
I have to admit to be quite apprehensive right now for couple of reasons. Firstly ,the person concerned could hold the key to information that could unlock a large part of my tree. Quite excited about that.
However ,what a downer if they are not right one.
Will they write or phone......arghh the suspense..........
gazza
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Gazza
Please let us know if/when you get a reply. Got my fingers crossed......... ;)
Jan
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Thanks for that Jan , I will.
The person I'm writing to would be in their 80's now. I do hope they still have all their marbles so to speak.
I wonder how they may react to seeing the photo I enclosed of them when they were 4 years old?
I thought it may have been the better choice of photo given the other was a wedding photo. If the husband was no longer with us this side of life then seeing the picture may have brought back painful memories.
Thats how I reasoned it out. What do you think? Right thing?
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I agree with your choice of photo Gazza.
Now I will just sit here and wait....................... ;)
Jan
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Good luck Gazza, hope you get the answers you're searching for.
I recently wrote to an 82yr old gentleman who lives in a nearby village (he is my Mum's cousin). I mentioned the family connection, apologised for troubling him and enclosed an SAE.
Posted the letter on Monday evening from work, by Tuesday evening I had a reply from his son who had also dabbled in the family tree. Turns out our gr grandmother was illegitimate but without that contact I would never have found that out.
Dinie
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;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Just to report back . A great sucess. Thanks all for the good luck wishes. Certainly worked ;D
2 cousins phoned me back. Now exchanging loads of info etc.
Cheers
Gazza
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Fantastic news!
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Gazza
Wow!!! That is such brilliants news. You must be so pleased.
Jan :D
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That's great news gazza.
I have been composing my letter for about 6 months now - your success will inspire me to send it!
Steph.
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Thanks folks. Go for it. As I type this I'm just opening another letter they have written to me ;D
A small tip. If you are able,enclose a picture. I was told by them when they saw the picture they knew I was genuine. They had a copy of the exact same picture.
Cheers
Gazza
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One look at me, they'll be put off for life ;D
Seriously, I don't think my intended recipients will have the slightest idea of any link at all so even if I have the right individuals, they could dismiss the whole thing as rubbish.
Same result if I don't ask at all so I might as well get on with it ;)
Steph.