RootsChat.Com
General => The Common Room => Topic started by: rachelralph on Monday 18 April 11 21:44 BST (UK)
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this is a very sensitive story and i need to be careful of names and dates i give as the people involved are/may be still alive. my nan was born dec 1941 and registered jan feb march 1942. i have been told today that a daughter of my great nans brother wasnt in fact a daughter but a niece, and that she was born to my nans mum. making her a sister to my nan. i was told by this person without any doubt that this is a fact and not a rumour or a story that has been elborated on. the person knew the name of the girl and the rough date she was born. i knew the name of the mother and father who brought her up, so it didnt take much research to find her birth record. the birth record shows the place the person said she would have been registered and the mothers maiden name was that of the adoptive mother.
the date of registration has quite honestly floored me. this girl born to my nans mum and given to my nans uncle, was jan feb march 1942. which would mean my nan has a twin sister somewhere.
needless to say this has had me in tears, and i am totally stuck as to where to look now?
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The adoptive mother's maiden name would not be on a birth reg
Do you think it could be another daughter who was adopted ??
Suz
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Yes a very sad story... and one that must be difficult to come to grips with...if it is in fact the truth.
What may have happened is that the mother could not feasibly afford to bring up two children and knew someone desperate for a child that she felt could ....help .....
so it could have been done for all the right reasons and kept secret for that same reason.
I hope you find what you are looking for... if you want to pm details I will see if I can help.. but DO NOT post living details... as you know this may cause pain to someone.
I wish you all the best with it ... but keep an open mind.
xin
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thank you for your kind words xinia and your advice suzard. i dont think that this was a legal adoption as such and there fore the 'parents' could give any name they chose.
the sad thing is my nan and her older brother dont remember their mother until their teenage years and even then they only found her due to my nans persistance in trying to find her. even sadder is my nan was always around her mum and yet never knew she was her mum!
i think in all honesty my nans mum was trying to escaoe from all the children and left nan and her brother with the in laws, and then left with the other twin to give her to her brother. it was rumoured he couldnt have children of his own, and prehaps she thought she could help in a way.
i am still getting my head round it all but i may take you up in the offer for help xinia, when i have got my head round it all.
little pieces of history and memories are all coming back to my nan now and i am hoping i can help too. the person who gave me this info was there first hand although she never met the other twin, and so even giing her a photo of my nan at a young age wouldnt help.
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I can have a look at the GRO adopted children's register if you want me to check. Please send me a pm.
Dawn
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It is a sad story -and I do feel for you -but if twins were born they would be registered with same birth mother's maiden name
Have you the full birth certificates for both children??
Suz
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if twins were born they would be registered with same birth mother's maiden name
if twins were born they should be registered with
IF the birth Mother gave one of the babies to her Brother soon after the birth, and he or his wife then knowingly falsely registered the child as if it were their own then it woud be registered with the maiden name of the Brother's wife.
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if twins were born they should be registered with
IF the birth Mother gave one of the babies to her Brother soon after the birth, and he or his wife then knowingly falsely registered the child as if it were their own then it woud be registered with the maiden name of the Brother's wife.
I agree -but if the birth was falsely registered it will be difficult to prove the true parentage of the one who was "adopted" - you will just have to rely on family tales
if you had both birth certs it would tell you the place and exact date of birth -unless of course this was falsified too.
Very difficult situation
Suz
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i only have the one for my nan, as this is all very new to me, as in only this week i learnt of the other lady. i know that if this lady is my nans twin then the 'parents' falsfied the details of mother and father as the online record shows the adoptive mothers maiden name.
whether the 'parents' were clever enough to change the exact dob or not only time will tell after i have ordered the certificate for the other lady. then its a scary case of maybe trying to track her down which i think i may have already done.
i know i need to tread carefully with this one.
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I wish you well with your search
If you wish to contact any of us away from the boards there is the private message facility
We all like to help in any way we can
Regards
Suz
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An inlaw's mother was raised by a maiden aunt. The whole family ie: Grandparents, siblings etc all immigrated to New Zealand when she was 5. Aged 14, the woman she called Mother aka Aunt died and she then was made aware that the woman she called Aunt was her mother.... I think everyone knew but her. At birth she was registered properly and would have to know at some time but it was an awful shock to her the way she found out.
rachelralph.....I wonder if there are any living people who you could ask about the family or maybe neighbours etc that would tell you more candidly about this. So many folk that are unable to conceive maybe it was like that. I think so many things that are innocently done turn out to be a real dog's breakfast. One tale begets another and so on.
Good luck. Keep us posted.
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thank you all for the very kind help and advice. unfortunatley this story stems from the fact that the whole group of siblings including my great nanny, who may have given the twin away, were flighty and prehaps even errrrr a little below the law? i cannot be sure of the legal side of things but they definately moved around a lot and none of them really left any trace of themselves. it would seem the siblings did keep in contact with each other but their children didnt. so my nan and all her cousins from the other siblings barely knew each other. so there really is no one to ask anymore. all of the siblings as far as we know have now passed away and all the info we have to go on is the secret that was told by one father to one child.
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I have just watched a programme on ITV1 London called Long Lost Family and there was a case that was strikingly similar.
This lady found out from a childhood friend that Mum and Dad were not her parents but that Aunt Eva who lived two doors up was her mother. Also that she was a twin.
Mum and Dad confirmed this. Aunt Eva through the years had turned up for a cuppa every morning and often brought her knitting and sat with them in the evening.
Throughout the years the lady had often tried to find her twin without success.
She was found on the show and it turned out that she lived about 3 miles away!!
It was said that private adoptions were often arranged through the local GP... the GRO adoption records can be consulted by family but only through an intermediary. That way no one is pressured into anything.It is all done very discreetly. Maybe this is the way forward for you.
Of course this all depends on whether there are records of an adoption in your case.
I hope this helps and let us know how you get on.
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I too watched the programe and thought about your (Rachelralph) dilema.
I wondered if it was a homebirth or hospital birth, the address on the certificate you have will tell you? If it was a hospital birth, maybe records of some sort still exist... although I am not sure if you could or how you gain access to them.
Ambers
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i thought i would post a little update on my story a you peeps have been so helpful and kind. yesterday i recieved a copy of a travel record from 1946 for the possible twin. reading through it it states mother (adoptive mothers name) and then mother is scribblied out and guardian & cousin is written in pen above it. then further down father (Adoptive fathers name) and that is scribbled out and gaurdian in pen again is written. the other thing that was signifcant for me was next to colour of eyes it said hazel. not that unusual but no one in my nans family at all other than herself has hazel eyes!
we now know that the birth cert was false, with mothers maiden name that of the adoptive mother given. we are about to order the birth cert in full and see if they were clever enough to change the exact DOB
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That is a really good find :D
It is really odd that they did that after (possibly) falsifying her birth certificate, to enter themselves as Guardians, as there wasn't any need if the documentation married up to them being her parents.
Ambers
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my thoughts are that a relative in america knew they couldnt have kids, so they suddenly relised they would have to pass her off as a cousin etc? maybe?
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for all those who have shown an interest in my plight to find my nans twin, i thought i should let you all know i have found her. i havent yet made contact with her as i must tread carefully and i do not wish to hurt her. but i do know now where she is living.
thank you all for your help and advice.
xx
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I am glad for you and that you realise this is a very delicate situation. Hope all goes well for all concerned
xin
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Hi Rachel
This is such a sensitive topic, I wish you well in your quest and hope you get a good result.
Dawn
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Hi Rachel
As Dawn says this is a very sensitive subject and could well be a very great shock to the lady concerned as she will think the people who brought her up were her parents. I can't tell from what you've said earlier whether your nan knows about your findings, or whether you've even discussed it with your mother or father - you don't say which nan you are talking about.
If your nan and this lady really are twins, I'm sure they would like to know about each other, most twins do.
Take care
Lizzie
ps. It is always possible, I suppose as the travel documents show guardian that the person who was "adopted" does know about her twin and is just waiting to be contacted.
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I see what your saying about the cert info because don't they usually say that they are one of 2 i.e. twin and they should have consecutive registration numbers if i remember right. We have a story in our family whete my gran was heard to say little did our (reference to my uncle) know he had a brother and we 've narrowed it down a bit. Quite a few permutations we can think of and also she was a servant to 2/3 families over a few years.