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General => The Common Room => Topic started by: XPhile2868 on Friday 10 September 10 17:02 BST (UK)
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Following a six month illness, my great great grandmother suffered from kidney failure for five days before passing away at home on March 22nd, 1919, aged 46. A week later, on the 29th of March, 1919, her daughter (my great grandmother) got married.
Would it have been common back then to have a wedding so soon after the death of one of the couple's parents? My great grandmother lived with her mother at the time, so they were probably quite close. Could it have been financial reasons why they couldn't postpone the marriage, or would her mother have said it was OK to go ahead so soon after her death?
Stephen :)
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My grandfather's cousin was due to get married on 7th January when her uncle died on 6th January and the wedding went ahead- just very quiet and immediate family as far as I know but think it was planned to be a small wedding.
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Hi Stephen
I think it would depend entirely on the family, as it would today.
If great great grandmother had been ill for several months as you say, she may well have told her daughter to get married on the appointed day, whatever happened. It may also have given her some consolation to know that her daughter would not be alone.
What would your family do in similar circumstances?
Linda
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Hi Stephen
I think it would depend entirely on the family, as it would today.
If great great grandmother had been ill for several months as you say, she may well have told her daughter to get married on the appointed day, whatever happened. It may also have given her some consolation to know that her daughter would not be alone.
What would your family do in similar circumstances?
Linda
I think they would go ahead if the deceased person had insisted. Thanks for the replies.
Stephen :)
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I have the case of an unmarried son who was still living with his mother in his 40s. About a month after she died, he married. I often wonder if his mother didn't approve of his choice of bride, or whether he just didn't want to marry until he was free of his mother.
Lizzie
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Or he was so used to being looked after by his mother that he didn't like the prospect of having to cook and clean for himself - so he lost no time in finding another woman to look after him ;D
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Could be, but from memory his mother was quite old when she died. I've been researching so many side-shoots recently I can't remember whether this person was on my tree or my husband's. :o I do remember he had a few siblings who had all married and left home before his mother died (including sisters, but I can't remember his name). Oh dear, old age is creeping up on me.
Lizzie
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In one family I researched (not related) in the 1840s the father died the same day as his daughter's wedding. I have no way of knowing if this was before or after the ceremony but it was a pretty grim start to her marriage :(
Carole
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My mum married in Dec 1948 just a week after her only grandma had died of stomach cancer.You can hardly cancel a wedding at such short notice ;)
Carol
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I have the case of an unmarried son who was still living with his mother in his 40s. About a month after she died, he married
It was really bugging me that I couldn't remember who this man was, but now I've got it. ;D I didn't remember the full story either.
He was probably the son of my 2 x g.uncle, born before his mother and my 2 x g.uncle were married. He was originally shown as having his mother's surname (she was a widow), but on later census, my 2 x g.uncle's married name was added to his name and this is the name under which he married.
Well, his mother died in December 1914 aged 61 and he didn't marry until June 1918 when he would have been aged 31.
His mother's 2nd husband (my 2 x g.uncle) died in 1902 and she married for a 3rd time in 1905. On the 1911 census, her 3rd husband aged 60 was in Sculcoates Workhouse, but she was living at home with her son.
Lizzie
ps. I still think I must have another ancestor who married soon after his mother died, as I seem to remember I found him on the 1911 census with his new wife.
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If the banns had been called, time booked off work etc I don't see that you'd cancel. Life goes on, even though we are often grieving for others. In fact the family would perhaps already all be together for the funeral and it made sense to stay till the wedding.
I would have thought getting married and having your husband as an emotional support at a painful time would be a good thing.
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This is not that unusual, if you think about the costs incurred for even the most basic marriage, they probably had to go ahead as they could not afford to put off and lose any money/deposits paid.
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My auntie married within a month of her Dad dying in the mid 1990s. She thought about cancelling it but after the sadness and stress of my Grandad being ill and then dying it was nice to have a happier family moment. I believe he would also have wanted her to go ahead with it and although it was a slightly subdued wedding there wasn't really an air of sadness hanging over it.